Nothing strikes fear into an allergy mum's heart like a dirty floor

It used to be so easy to keep my house clean pre kids. Then I gave birth to a small person... she morphed into a toddler tornado... and I said goodbye to my tidy home.

No more neatly arranged decorative items or spotless floors. They were replaced with random toys and tupperware... all over the floor, chairs, stairs, shelves, under and in the couch. It's like a lucky dip when you sit on the couch, you never know what you're going to find stuffed behind the cushions. My house quickly began looking like a ransacked toy store. With a healthy side serve of dirt, sand, grass and anything else the small child decided to traipse inside. It wasn't pretty all the time, but it was manageable. Then entered child number 2, destructor baby, and everything turned to complete and utter chaos. Now most of the time I can clean all day long and it still looks like a crime scene at the end of the day. Sometimes I feel like all I do is follow them both around with the vacuum cleaner and baby wipes, yet they still manage to cover the floor in crumbs, smear sauce in random places and sneak biscuits onto the couch.

I'm no stranger to mess, in fact you could go as far as saying I embrace it given we do lots of messy sensory play. The reason I get so stressed out over mess on the floors, particularly discarded food, is because of baby girls multiple food allergies. Nothing strikes fear into an allergy mum's heart like watching their child reaching for unsafe food they find on the floor. If she eats the wrong crumbs, finds a random piece of cheese or even a discarded spoon that's touched milk, it can mean hours of pain, screaming, rashes and no sleep... and nobody wants that.

We've navigated food allergies before, when her sister was little, but it was a lot easier with only one child. I always made sure unsafe food was kept away from her up high when we ate and because we didn't drop food on the floor ourselves, any food she dropped and found later was her own safe food. I didn't have to be so vigilant and follow her around micromanaging every speck she picked up. Having an allergy toddler and an older child is a whole different ball game though.

Big sister has outgrown her allergies now, but a lot of the food she eats is still dangerous for her little sister. She's pretty good at asking before she shares food with her, but no matter how many times I tell her not to make a mess or drop food, I can guarantee there'll be a trail of crumbs left wherever she's been eating. There'll also be a curious toddler eagerly waiting to swoop in and eat every last crumb.

Baby girl is only 18 months old so she doesn't understand that she can't eat certain foods, or why, she just wants to eat everything her sister does. Unless our whole family goes dairy, soy and nut free there's always going to be the possibility she can find some food that she shouldn't eat, so right now it's necessary for me to be the mean mummy and take things off her, until she's old enough to understand how to manage her allergies herself, or hopefully outgrows them. 

On top of all of her food allergies, I have quite severe asthma myself and am allergic to cats and dust so I have to clean like a ninja for my own health too. Did I mention we have an indoor cat and our entire upstairs level is carpet? Not exactly the ideal living situation for an asthmatic. I know I shouldn't have a cat when I'm allergic, but he's soooooo cute and so good with the kids, he's basically our third child.

Pre kids {and cat} I could get away with a light vacuum here and there to keep the dust situation and my asthma under control. Now there's a whole different level of carpet cleaning going on, even when the carpet looks clean to the naked eye I can guarantee if I vacuum there'll be all sorts of dirt coming out of it. Between the kids walking food and dirt up the stairs, the cat molting and general household dust build up, I'm cleaning the carpets almost every single day. All the allergies in this house have turned me into the cleaning fairy I always wished I had.

Even though our whole family is well versed in handling allergies, my kids are still messy like everyone elses. Like most mums, I can plead with them til I'm blue in the face please don't drop anything on the floor, please don't eat that, we don't eat food off the floor etc and they'll still do it. Mess is part of our everyday lives. Unlike most other households however, it can have dire consequences, so I have to be on the ball all the time. If you have friends or relatives with allergies please be mindful when you visit them because they're likely as highly strung as I am. Also please don't be alarmed if you ever see them running around like a headless chook picking up stuff off the floor, it's just what us allergy mums do..

Toni x

Halloween Mummies Toilet Paper Roll Craft

Do you hoard all the recycling in the hopes of making crafty masterpieces with your kids? I have so many cardboard boxes, empty containers, toilet paper rolls, pieces of used tissue paper and bubble wrap just waiting in my garage for the day they'll be reborn into something amazing. Sometimes that day takes a loooong time to arrive, but I can always find useful ways to reuse recyclables. Read on to find out how to make these really easy Halloween mummies from toilet paper rolls or cardboard tubes.

You and your kids can make them in about 5 minutes and you don't have to be a crafty mum. They're so simple, my daughter started making them when she was 3 and only needed help gluing on the googly eyes. The rougher they are the better they look in my opinion. Also good news, empty toilet paper rolls should be a readily available craft resource in your household, even if you're not a hoarder of all the things like me.

Easy PJ Masks Costume for Halloween

If your kids want to be superheros this year for Halloween then look no further than the PJ Masks! Everyone's favourite night time superheros are the perfect costume idea for kids for a night of dressing up and trick or treating. They're also an easy book week dress up idea too, just team the costume with your favourite PJ Masks book and you're done.

Rock Pool Pollution Sensory Tray

If you love all things mini then you'll love this environmental rock pool small world using mini supermarket items. It's a great way to teach children about the dangers rubbish causes to aquatic life in our oceans and also a great way to open a discussion about recycling and putting rubbish in the bin. 

Even if you don't have any mini food toys, you can still do the same activity with just little pieces of rubbish like bottle tops, plastic, straws and bread ties. This is also a great activity to do in April for Earth Day.

Introducing kids to steam education with KiwiCo

Have you been worried about how to entertain your kids as they get older?

Confession time, I've always loved learning through play and I could happily set up small world or sensory play invitations for the girls all day long, but I'm well aware as they get older these types of activities will no longer cut it, and that's terrified me. I can do young kids, but I've always worried how I'd keep older kids entertained {other than craft and iPads}. But a year or so ago I discovered steam education and it's like a lightbulb went on in my head and I've been patiently waiting for bub's interests to catch up so I could unleash all the steam ideas!

If you've never heard the term steam before, it's an acronym for Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Maths. Steam education refers to fun learning activities based around these subjects that provoke inquiry, problem solving, collaboration and experimenting. Steam learning is process based learning that involves critical thinking to reach a solution. I've been slowly incorporating it into activities now bub is 5 by doing more experiments like the skittles rainbow and making volcanoes. We're only really at the start of our steam journey and I can see her interest in science and engineering in particular is growing as is her constant thirst for knowledge, so when KiwiCo contacted me to trial their steam subscriptions boxes it was right up our alley.

KiwiCo is a US based educational subscription box company that specialise in steam education for children 0-16 years. KiwiCo make science, technology, engineering, art and maths educational activities accessible, engaging and fun to inspire the next generation of scientists, artists, makers and creators. KiwiCo was created to celebrate kids' natural creativity and curiosity, while helping parents who want to bring enriching experiences to their children. They've recently introduced shipping to Australia and bub was lucky to be one of the first Australian kids to trial their boxes.

The crates are available for different age brackets and include age appropriate steam activities. We were sent a koala crate, kiwi crate and a tinker crate. With her 5th birthday this week, I wasn't entirely sure whether the koala or kiwi crate would be most age appropriate, so it was good to be able to trial both. The koala crate was definitely a big hit and we did those activities straight away. She's also really excited to make everything in the kiwi box though. Having seen both, I would recommend if your child is already in school go the kiwi crate, but if they're still in kindergarten or younger stick to the koala crate. Both require some adult assistance still. The tinker crate is obviously way out of her age range, but it was great to see exactly what's included and I was seriously impressed. In fact I'm sure it would take me a while to construct the hydraulic arm that was included in that box {a high school student could probably still do it quicker than me, because my brain is a little rusty thanks to kids!}.

The koala crate was our favourite because it included musical instruments, but I was really impressed that all the crates include a detailed {both pictures and written} instruction booklet, activity booklet and all the items needed for each activity. I love that the boxes provide hands on learning opportunities where kids can build their own items {with a little help}. It was so much fun watching bub's sense of accomplishment as she turned a few loose pieces into a fully working xylophone. I can't wait to finish building our arcade game from the kiwi crate.

Disclosure - I was sent some KiwiCo crates to trial and review. I did not receive payment for this review and all opinions expressed are based on our experience building and playing with the contents of the boxes.

*Some affiliate links have been used within this post. They do not affect the price you pay, but if you decide to purchase I may earn a small commission {to fund my toy addiction}.

Love me when my heart is tired

Have you ever been so tired you feel like you simply can't do anything, yet you somehow get to the end of each day with no clue how you survived? 

Chronic sleep deprivation is torture, like actual torture that is used in war time, yet here I am experiencing it in the middle of suburbia and it's been 14 long months with no end in sight. Nobody is coming to rescue me from this torture though, I'm expected to endure it with a smile on my face and tell everyone how much I love my kids and life etc, and figure it all out on my own. On social media people like to live out this fantasy land, when behind closed doors it's a whole different story. Because happy is easy to deal with and anything less than perfect isn't. The truth is sometimes gritty and harsh and painful, all the things people don't want to experience. So we run and hide from it and pretend it doesn't exist.

I'm not really one of those people though. I tend to call it like I see it and admit when things are falling apart. Having two children has been a lot harder for me than I ever imagined it would be. I'm not sure if it's because of the added pressure of allergies, a baby who's also allergic to sleep, a big {unintentional} age gap, or a combination of all of these things. Or perhaps everyone with multiple children experiences these feelings regardless of their situation.

There's been lots of crying, feeling helpless, feeling like I'm failing, lashing out {because my tolerance level is often minimal} and swearing. Yes I swear, I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't, but I do. Sorry {not sorry}. I know at times I've turned into a cranky, yelling, generally unpleasant, borderline insane person and my friends and family have had to see me like this. Sure there are a few days where I feel like I'm winning at this mothering gig, but more often than not things feel like they're falling apart to some extent. So, this is my truth, and my apology, and my plea to everyone to still love me when my heart is so very, very tired.

To my friends...

Love me when I put up negative Facebook statuses. Don't ignore me, shut me down, or tell me it gets better. My brain logically knows it will get better at some point. I know I won't have a 15yr old sleeping in my bed waking for boobies every 2hrs {least I don't think that happens, right?}. I've done this before, I know at some point this will all be a distant memory. But at 2am when I've had one, maybe two hours of broken sleep interrupted 4 times by a baby that won't take no for an answer.. I forget that it will eventually end. In the cold, dark of the night {or sometimes the cold, foggy start of the morning} I vent on Facebook hoping for some kind of acknowledgement that I'm not alone. Hoping that someone out there sees me, someone gets me. Please don't respond telling me all the things I should be doing, because that makes me feel like I'm failing even more than I already think I am. Just see me. Let me know I still matter. Tell me to have a cup of tea. Even better organise a playdate so I get to see you in real life. 

To my mum...

When I call you in tears saying I just can't take it anymore, it doesn't mean I want you to question everything I've done. It means I've tried everything and I'm beyond done and please God come and help me. Don't tell me you don't know what to do and leave me lost and crying on the other end of the phone. Tell me you're coming over and everything will be ok. Because even though you might not know what to do and you can't "fix" it, my brain tells me you're my mum and I should run to you when I need help and everything will be ok. Listening to me and coming over will make everything ok, even if it's not. I promise I won't be a crying basket case forever {well hopefully not}.

To my husband...

You know all the times when I yell at you about stupid stuff because I'm just at the end of my God dam rope and the fact you haven't taken the bin out or remembered the kids drink bottles pushes me over the edge? Don't turn those moments into WW3. Just take them with a grain of salt. Remember I haven't slept properly in a really, really long time and I'm a slave to small children every. single. day. Its draining and constant and sometimes tiny stuff will set me off, for no apparent {logical} reason, because my tolerance level is below 0. 

It doesn't make sense. Tomorrow I'll realise that and know I was overreacting, but right here and now I need to vent so I don't lose my mind and unfortunately you're the only adult in the room, so it gets directed at you. I'm sorry, I know its shit. I know it's unfair, but I also know while this tiny dictator is still a sleep thief it probably wont change. My bad. Remember that invisible bubble the Dr told you to hide in when I was first pregnant 5 years ago? Maybe bring that back and camp out in it for a while, say another year or two.... I should be back to myself by then {oh God I hope so}.

To my big girl...

I'm sorry your world has been turned upside down and sometimes chaos is our new normal. It may seem like I think about you less and your needs don't matter as much anymore, but the truth is you're always on my mind. I spend so much of my day wondering if I'm doing everything right. Do I give you enough hugs? Have I told you I love you enough? Did I spend enough time with you, or did I unintentionally dismiss your concerns because your sister needed me? I don't love you any less and you aren't less important, it's just there's two of you and one of me now so waiting, sharing and not always getting what you want when you want it is the new normal and I know you don't like it or understand it right now, but unfortunately that's the way life is. One day things won't be so crazy I promise.

To my baby girl...

I feel like I'm robbing you of the mother you deserve. You get a tired, cranky, glass half empty mum most of the time when I want to be an excited, energetic, glass half full mum. I want to spend my days setting up all the play activities for you and nurturing your little mind, reveling in your new skills and giving you all of me. One day we'll get to that point, probably once you start sleeping through the night, for now boobies and cuddles are hopefully enough.

To myself...

Give yourself a break. Don't feel guilty that the house is messy, the to do lists never get completed and you feel like you fail more than you succeed. Forgive yourself for not meeting your own impossible standards. Reduce your expectations. Write have done lists instead of to do lists. Celebrate the small wins, because during this monotonous chapter of raising small people the little wins are the biggest victories. Give as much time and energy to yourself as you do to everyone else. Love yourself as much as you love others. You matter too. Love yourself even though your heart is tired.

*This post was in part inspired by Alan Walker's song tired, which has somewhat become the anthem to my life these past few months. I listen to it most nights when I have a shower, you can listen to it here.

Mokulock Wooden Building Bricks: A Natural Alternative to Lego

You all know how much I love toys, right?

My penchant for online shopping, coupled with the occasional opportunity to review toys for the blog, means I've pretty much been the toy queen in our house from day dot. When it comes to toys, my kids always come to me {possibly because I'm a girl and like the same things as them, or maybe because I hardly ever say no}. Anyway reasoning aside, for years daddy's been sitting on the sidelines patiently biding his time, waiting for the day he could finally introduce the girls to Lego and reign supreme in the toy department. He's literally been counting down since they were born. What he wasn't counting on though was me discovering a product even more awesome than Lego and totally stealing his thunder! Whoops... I almost feel bad about it {ok not really, because you all know how much I absolutely love wooden toys}. I've found the most amazing wooden alternative to Lego and the best part is it's now available in Australia.

WHAT IS MOKULOCK?

Mokulock pieces are wooden interlocking building bricks made in Yamagata Japan. In Yamagata 70% of the land is mountainous and the residents co-exist with nature, dependent on cultivating the forest for resources. Trees cannot thrive when they're close together in the mountains as not enough sunlight can filter through, so to ensure the survival of the forest as a whole, in the winter forest thinning occurs utilising the snow as a cushion when the trees are felled. The wood used for Mokulock bricks comes from the felled trees that are unsuitable for making furniture or architecture.

Mokulock is made from 6 different types of wood; Japanese Cherry, Japanese Zelkova, Japanese Bigleaf Magnolia, Birch, Hornbeam and Maple. Each individual brick is carved from a single piece of wood making them all unique with a different grain, texture and colour. No 2 pieces are ever identical, which if I'm completely honest would normally irritate my OCD, however I find the unique markings quite fascinating. Another plus is no chemicals, paint, glue or finishing oils are used in the production of the bricks, making them even more eco-friendly.

BRING NATURE INTO YOUR PLAYROOM

Research has confirmed wood has a calming, comforting effect. Mokulock is an organic, eco-friendly alternative for those who love the appeal of Lego, but hate plastic. It provides a multi-sensory play experience without the overstimulating bright colours and cold, hard feel of plastic. Instead Mokulock is warm and textured with subtle colour variations and a natural aroma, allowing sensory input without causing sensory overload.

Mokulock provides hours of open ended creative play that naturally aids fine motor skill development as the pieces are carefully manipulated into place. These bricks never get boring because they can literally be used to construct an unlimited number of designs, inspired by your child's imagination. As your children grow the complexity of their designs will evolve too.

The first time we played with Mokulock bub was coming up with ideas of what to build on her own then asked me to build one and she would copy. We did trees, people, houses and a pyramid all initiated by her. She got a bit frustrated when she couldn't get the bricks to join together perfectly the first time, but her stubborn streak is a blessing in disguise because she kept going until she mastered it. She's now asking me to search out more complex design ideas so we can build animals like dragons and crocodiles. Keep an eye out on Instagram to see all the creations we come up with.

MOKULOCK IS FOR EVERYONE

Whether your children are building simple towers or intricate multi level buildings, there's a Mokulock set for every member of the family from inquisitive toddlers right through to the biggest construction lovers. Although the regular Mokulock pieces are small and best suited to children aged 5 and over, they're also available in bigger sizes so younger children can join in too. And of course adults can play too!

MOKULOCK

The regular Mokulock brick sets include full {8 studs} and half {4 studs} sized bricks. Mokulock sets are available in 24 pieces, 36 pieces, 48 pieces and 60 pieces.

TSUMIKI

Block pieces in the Tsumiki sets are 8 times bigger than regular Mokulock pieces. They're similar in size to Duplo and designed so young children can start learning how to build with interlocking blocks. Tsumiki is available in 28 piece or 56 piece sets and come with additional eye stickers to help bring kids creations alive.

BUBU

The Bubu car is the only Mokulock set that includes wheels and bevel cut pieces. The set contains 14 pieces designed to build a specific wooden car which is the perfect size for little hands. However, the pieces are compatible with all Mokulock bricks, so it can be used in conjunction with other sets to build even bigger vehicles. 

KODOMO

Kodomo literally translates to children in Japanese and these sets are designed to add a little bit of magic. The Kodomo sets include regular Mokulock bricks in full and half lengths with the added bonus of cute eye stickers to help bring kids creations to life. Kodomo is available in 34 piece and 60 piece sets. For your chance to win a 60 piece set enter the giveaway at the end of this post.

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After playing with the regular Mokulock bricks I would suggest they're great for children aged 4 and up {we don't have Tsumiki, but I would assume they would be good for 3+ as they're similar to Duplo}. I always supervise her while playing with them, moreso because I need to keep her younger sister away from them as she still mouths everything. Word of warning too, you will need to keep them away from adult males, if you ever want to play with them again. The good news though is that he has forgiven me for stealing his thunder and now enjoys regular building sessions with bub. It's actually really lovely having a toy they can both play with and enjoy simultaneously. Mokulock gives them the option of working together for a common goal or alongside each other and it's been great watching them bond over a shared interest.

WHERE CAN YOU GET MOKULOCK IN AUSTRALIA?

The entire Mokulock range is now available from Oskars Wooden Ark, Australia's newest online destination for quality open ended wooden toys. Growing up in Germany, owner Simon was surrounded by many high quality wooden toys thanks to his kindergarten teacher mother, which cemented a deep love of handmade wooden toys and open ended play from an early age. He and his wife Thuy recently opened Oskar's Wooden Ark {affectionately named after their son} after emigrating from Germany to Australia, in the hopes of bringing the wonderful handmade wooden toys he enjoyed playing with growing up, to children here in Australia. You can read their entire story here.

Oskar's Wooden Ark specialises in wooden toys, stocking popular wooden toy brands Grimm's, Ostheimer, Wobbel, Grapat, Mokulock and Magic Wood, who's products are sourced from sustainably managed forests in Europe. Wooden bricks, rainbows, cars, animals, Nins and wobbleboards are just some of the iconic toys that grace their online shelves. Each product is unique with individual grain marks made by nature. They're also great for developing fine motor skills, high contrast vision, letters, numbers, counting, mathematical reasoning and language development whilst engaging children in hours of open ended play.

To celebrate their opening and Mokulock being available in Australia, they're offering all Finding Myself Young readers 10% off* all Mokulock products. Just use the code finding_myself_young when checking out at www.oskarswoodenark.com.au. You may even be lucky and get a special Mokulock wooden key charm with your order.

Thanks to Oskar's Wooden Ark I also have a 60 piece Kodomo set of Mokulock wooden building bricks to giveaway to you! To enter simply follow the prompts in the Rafflecopter widget {so I can contact you if you win} and comment below letting me know what your kids would love to build with Mokulock? You can also enter over on Facebook and Instagram for additional chances to win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

TERMS & CONDITIONS
Competition commences upon publication and ends at 11:59pm May 10th 2018. One winner will receive a Mokulock 60pc Kodomo set RRP $89.90. Finding Myself Young will not be held liable should the prize be lost in transit. Competition is open to Australian residents only, excluding ACT. This competition is a game of skill and will be judged as such. All mandatory entry steps must be completed to constitute a valid entry. Incomplete entries will be deemed invalid and excluded from judging. Entries can be made via www.findingmyselfyoung.com, Facebook and Instagram and one winner will be selected from the total entry pool. Winners will have 48hrs to respond or prize will be redrawn. This competition is in no way endorsed, promoted or administered by Facebook or Instagram.

* Discount code is valid 8th May 2018 - 10th May 2018

Disclosure - I was gifted Mokulock wooden building bricks for the purpose of review. All opinions expressed within this post are based on our experience building with Mokulock. I did not receive payment for this review.

Bringing memories to life

This post is in collaboration with Brand Meets Blog

I remember being fascinated by our photo albums when I was little. They were so chunky and there were so many of them all lined up in a row on the bookshelf next to the Reader's Digest and our Encyclopedia Britannica collection. I'd regularly get them down and gently flip through the pages careful not to knock any of the photos out of place. They were the old-school albums where the photos were held in by sticky pages, except the pages became less sticky and kind of redundant as time went on.

I'd spend ages marveling at the fact I really was a baby once and there was a time before my brother existed, even though I didn't remember any of it. Those original baby albums probably inspired my love of photo taking and insatiable desire to capture memories. While I loved looking at them, when I was allowed to, I always wondered why mum put our photos in albums that sat on bookshelves collecting dust. I never understood why there weren't more hanging on the walls so we could see them everyday.

Fast forward 20 something years and chunky photo albums seem to be a thing of the past. In fact I've never even put together a physical photo album, but I have the modern day equivalent with 35 photo albums on my Facebook profile, an Instagram account {for photo sharing} and 9000+ photos sitting idly in my phone gallery. With so many things being digital these days, it can be easy to get lost in our devices and forget about the physical world around us. It's only recently occurred to me that despite the fact I take and share photos every single day, my kids don't actually see them at all {unless my 4yr old steals my phone}. They don't even have a dusty photo album they can pull off the shelf and flick through. For someone so obsessed with making memories, I can't believe I've been {unintentionally} forgetting to share them with my own children.

In my defense, creating some kind of photo wall display has been on my to do list for a while, but it's always been put in the too hard basket and not been a high priority.  I haven't printed photos out previously, because the thought of taking two kids into a store to use a kiosk then wait for the photos to be printed sounds like an awesome day out a special kind of hell {I know this because we all went with my mother when she printed hers}. I want to have more visible reminders of our time together as a family though so I decided to make a start on my photo wall with one of the maternity photos we had taken last year before baby girl's arrival.

It turns out, unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, you can easily order canvas prints online from CanvasChamp. No long winded trips to the shops. No battling to get two kids ready to leave the house, or entertaining them while they get oh soooo bored waiting in line ups. Just a few clicks on my laptop and I had a 40x50cm canvas print ordered for our photo wall in under 5 minutes. In mum time that's the equivalent of Justine Clarke singing everywhere's a dancefloor {which incidentally is a good way to occupy the kids while using your laptop}.

I could of bit the bullet and ordered the entire wall display in one go, but I'm indecisive and if I waited until I'd worked out all the photos I wanted it would never get done. I'd also never ordered canvas prints online, so if I'm completely honest, I was a bit apprehensive about the quality, especially given they were a lot cheaper than I was expecting {so being somewhat pessimistic I decided to try before putting all my eggs in one basket so to speak}. However, I'm happy to report the canvas arrived in perfect condition and really well packaged a week later.



I wouldn't hesitate ordering more prints online now and I'm actually considering ordering some for mum for Mother's Day. What better gift than memories of your children and grandchildren right? You can get a free 8x8 canvas print with your first order if you sign up to the newsletter too. They also have wood prints, how cool! If you know how obsessed I am with wooden toys you'll understand why that excites me so much.

This photo from our maternity shoot now takes pride of place on our wall. As soon as bub saw it she said "wow mummy look at the picture, that's when we were in the forest taking photos when bubby was in your tummy. It's so beautiful". Of course my heart melted. I'm so glad she has a daily reminder of our family adventure to the forest and how excited we were to become a family of four. I also love that her little sister will be able to look at it each day and know how much we looked forward to meeting her {and maybe one day she'll believe me she really was inside my belly}. Now I really want to print more photos and organise another family shoot with all four of us {even though baby girl's technically in this photo} so we can hang even more memories on our walls.

How often do you print your photos out?
Surely I'm not the only one with thousands of photos sitting on my phone?

Toni x

Disclosure - This is a sponsored post for CanvasChamp in accordance with my disclosure policy. The maternity photo shown in this post was taken by Katherine Maree Photography.

*Some links used within this page are affiliate links which means I may make a small commission, at no extra cost to you, should you make a purchase. 

Ultimate First Birthday Gift Guide

So my baby girl is turning one this week...

Everybody in my family thinks my kids are hard to buy for, apparently "they have everything" because our house resembles a toy shop. Yes, I agree, our house does somewhat resemble a toy shop {or a childcare centre} and we do have a lot of toys, buuuut there are always more toys. I guarantee I can always find things we don't have {that we obviously need}. If I had a bigger house and a never ending supply of money you can bet our house would be packed with way more toys than it is now. There's so many amazing toys out there, you just have to know where to look {or spend hours scrolling online shops while breastfeeding like me}. Thankfully you don't have to though, because I've done the hard work {aka research} for you and put together this awesome gift guide. I swear if toy scout was a job, I'd be all over it. If you have a one year old to buy for, or your own baby is about to turn one, this post is packed full of ideas, and they're all great for girls and boys.

WOODEN TOYS VS PLASTIC TOYS

I have to admit, when my big girl was a baby, our toy style could pretty much be described as plastic fantastic. I used to walk into all the department stores and be blinded by the bright colours, whizz bang sounds and cheap prices, I'd buy a new toy every time we went to the shops. I was so excited to finally have a baby I wanted e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. It's safe to say I quickly got over my fascination with all things noisy and plastic. The endless need for new batteries, creepy toys going off in the middle of the night and my house looking like shiny rainbow vomit had a lot to do with it. So began my obsession with wooden toys {around about when she was 18 months old}. 

Not only are wooden toys less likely to freak me out in the middle of the night, they're also inherently open ended providing numerous learning opportunities that evolve as your child grows. They inspire hours of pretend play, limited only by your child's imagination. They're also extremely durable and won't fade, crack or deteriorate as quickly as their plastic counterparts. All of these reasons are why I've only bought wooden toys for my girls for the past few years. The ones we've collected so far are such good quality I'm planning on keeping most of them for my future grandkids to play with.

But what do you get a one year old? They're too old for baby toys...

That's totally true, most one year olds are in that odd in between stage where they're too old for baby toys like teethers and blankies, but don't have the skills yet for things like puzzles and games. However, I like to think of toys that will suit them for the whole year not just what they can do right at this moment. Between 1-2yrs of age toddlers brains are developing rapidly and their physical, cognitive and language skills and abilities will also evolve exponentially.

During the next 12 months most toddlers will hit big physical milestones like learning to walk, but they'll also master less obvious ones like their pincer grip, through actions like grasping, stacking, transferring and sorting objects. They'll also start simple pretend play with their toys by mimicking actions you do with them. Not to mention their speech will start expanding and one of the best ways to facilitate this is through play.

I'm very passionate about learning through play so I've put together a list of some amazing good quality toys that will help develop these skills. And yes these are the actual presents she'll be getting for her birthday. The way she plays with each of them will continue to evolve as she gets older. Keep an eye out on Instagram to see them in action over the coming weeks and months.

*This post contains some affiliate links*

HAPE ROLLER DERBY

The Hape roller derby is one toy that's been on my wish list for months. We hired it for her big sister when I was still pregnant and it was such a hit I've been wanting to buy it ever since. It's essentially a more toddler friendly version of a marble run using bigger balls. Kids put the balls into the top hole and watch them fall down the ball run, through the different holes, changing sides as they go and then finally dropping onto a bell at the bottom. It's such a simple toy, but it provides loads of tactile, visual and auditory stimulation. It's also a really easy way for younger kids to practice hand/eye co-ordination while placing the balls through the hole. I imagine her big sister will be keen to play with this one too as she's used it before, so I'm hoping it'll also help the girls practice turn taking.

I was so excited when The Creative Toy Shop added the roller derby to their Hape range, because I'd been having a bit of trouble tracking it down online. The Creative Toy Shop is an online toy store that stocks educational toys, activity guides and resources to facilitate play based learning for children of all abilities. I first met owner Brianna via her notes from a home educator Instagram account where she shares learning activities she does while homeschooling four young boys. She's now living my dream and running her own toy store alongside her teaching job. Everything available in her shop has been carefully selected to cater for children of all abilities, including those with special needs. You can follow The Creative Toy Shop on Facebook and Instagram.

EGG AND CUP GAME

This rainbow wooden egg and cup puzzle set is a great little matching game for toddlers. They can start to develop fine motor skills, hand/eye co-ordination, learn about balance and cause and effect by grasping the eggs and transferring them in and out of the cups. What I love most about this set is that it essentially grows with your child because it can be used to learn and reinforce different skills at different ages. As she gets older I'll also use it to teach her the different colours, for colour sorting, problem solving, counting and sequencing. I dare say her big sister will probably play with these a lot too.

The egg and cup game is made from renewable birch and hand painted using vegetable based paints. I got it from Works at Play, a Brisbane based toy store with a focus on affordable, sustainable, open ended toys, resources and play sets for at home and childcare centres. Owner Melissa is an Early Childhood Teacher passionate about sharing her knowledge of play resources and learning opportunities with others. Many of the toys and resources sold at Works at Play are Montessori or Waldorf inspired. You can follow Works at Play on Facebook and Instagram.

GRIMMS 7 RAINBOW FRIENDS

When it comes to wooden toys Grimms are pretty much up there with the best of the best. I'd even go as far as saying they're probably the world leaders in open ended toys. I think the best place to start your Grimms collection for a toddler is with the 7 rainbow friends in bowls. The peg dolls will help develop baby girl's pincer grip as she grabs them and transfers them in and out of the bowls. The bowls can also be stacked on their own. They're also great for introducing colour sorting and matching and eventually we'll use them to sequence the colours of the rainbow. As her imagination develops they'll also be fabulous for pretend play.

This set is made from sustainably sourced alder and maple wood and is hand finished with non-toxic, water based dyes. Each piece of Grimms has unique markings from the natural wood grain so no two pieces or sets will ever be exactly the same. I also got these from The Creative Toy Shop, they have an extensive range of Grimms toys with options for babies right through to older children.

RAINBOW SOUND BLOCKS

Wooden blocks provide children with a delightful tactile sensory experience and are a perfect first birthday gift for toddlers starting to explore grasping, stacking and sorting. These wooden rainbow sound blocks have added sensory stimulation with coloured panels and different beads within each block. Baby girl is obsessed with anything that makes sound so I know she's going to love shaking, banging, stacking and knocking them over to explore the different sounds they make. They're also a good size for kids who are still prone to mouthing {always use them under supervision with young children} and they pack away neatly into the included storage box when not in use.

Like a lot of the other items included in this list, wooden blocks appeal to a large range of ages so I know they're something she won't get bored of or grow out of quickly {I still love playing with wooden blocks at 33}. As she gets older I'll also use them for introducing colours and shapes and in treasure baskets.

TREE TOP ADVENTURE ACTIVITY CENTRE

Activity centre cubes and tables are a pretty staple gift option for 1 year olds that you can't really go wrong with. Toddlers love to explore and play with anything and everything and activity centres give them a chance to play interactively with multiple items at once. Not only are they having fun putting items in and out, spinning, winding, opening and shutting, and pushing and pulling little pieces, they're also doing a great deal of learning. Each manoeuvre strengthens their hand muscles and assists fine motor skills as well as teaching cause and effect and problem solving.

We've had quite a few different activity cubes and tables over the years {I know I have a toy problem}, but I think this tree top adventure activity centre may be the best one I've ever seen, because it's a 3D tree! How cool is that?! The four quadrants that make up the tree include gliding tracks, bead runs, spinning beads and gears and flaps that open and close. What I also love about the tree design is that it's up off the ground so baby girl can play with it while standing {which is good because she's been walking since 10 months and prefers standing over sitting}. It also has enough room for both girls to play together. I'm sure her big sister won't be able to resist having a go, in fact I can just imagine all the pretend play that will happen here.

COLOUR AND SHAPE FLASH CARDS

These Two Little Ducklings Colour & Shape flash cards are a great way to introduce toddlers to colours and shapes. I specifically chose the colour & shape set as they're the easiest concepts for 1-2yr olds to learn. Although flash cards are a more structured learning resource, they work well for younger kids when used {under supervision} alongside other items. To start with I'll be using the colour cards in special colour themed treasure baskets {with toys and loose parts} to slowly introduce her to different colours. As she gets older I'll incorporate them into colour hunts {pick a flash card and go find items of that colour}, colour matching items to the cards, colour sorting and I'll also introduce the same activities with the shape cards.

The flash card set includes 25 cards, featuring primary and secondary colours and shapes, represented by everyday items children will be familiar with. They're printed on thick environmentally friendly 300GSM paper with rounded edges and come in a calico storage bag. I got them from Avidiva, an online store that stocks quality, stylish, natural, non-toxic gifts for mums and little ones. Avidiva stock a range of Two Little Ducklings flash cards including the high contrast cards {great for babies} and the alphabet, counting, fruits and vegetables and feelings and emotions cards that are all great for toddlers and preschoolers. You can follow Avidiva on Facebook and Instagram.

ONE YEAR OLD GIFT BOX

What's the best thing to get someone when you don't know what to get them? Easy, a gift box....  Gift boxes aren't just for adults, there's special toy gift boxes available for one year olds too. The Big Little Box Co is a Brisbane based online business specialising in curated and custom gift boxes for little ones from babies right through to 5 year olds. The best part is almost the entire range of products available are wooden educational toys designed to stimulate fine motor development. If ever there was a business right up my alley, this is certainly it! To compliment the amazing contents, the gift box itself is sturdy white gloss cardboard with a magnetic flap and your child's name is printed on top in vinyl in your choice of font and colour. The boxes themselves make great keepsake boxes after the gift giving is over.

The Big Little Box Co have a number of curated first birthday gift boxes, however because we have a couple of similar items already, I chose to create my own box. There's a huge range of toys and books available from The Big Little Box Co with prices starting at just a few dollars so you can put together a gift box for any budget. I chose all of our items based on where she's at developmentally and her current interests. She's starting to want to do simple puzzles so I chose the Hape colour and shape sorter and the wooden bee puzzle. The wooden lion is a screw puzzle to help work her fine motor skills. She also loves anything to do with music so I got an owl shaker. Finally we're collecting the "That's not my" Usborne touch and feel books so I chose That's not my duck to add to our collection. I can't wait to see her face when she opens up her box. I'm going to keep the box to use as a special baby memory box for her {and yes I'll be ordering a box for her big sister so she has one too}. You can follow The Big Little Box Co on Facebook and Instagram.

MORE GIFT IDEAS FOR ONE YEAR OLDS

Most of baby girl's gifts were deliberate out of the box choices as we have so many standard toddler toys already. If nothing on this list takes your fancy, other toys we already have that are great for toddlers are:

• Shape sorters
• Pounding peg toys
• Bead maze runs
• Push/pull toys
• Sensory balls
• Ride on toys
• Water tables
• Walkers

Hopefully this list has given you plenty of gift ideas for the little ones in your life. To see all these toys in action and the different ways we play with them over the next few weeks, follow us on Instagram. Now I'm off to console myself over the fact my last baby is already turning one. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

Disclosure - Some of the products featured in this gift guide were gifted to us and others were purchased. I have purchased from all stores featured in the past and will continue to do so in the future. I have only included items I was going to/have bought for her. All stock images have been used with permission. To see these products in action over the coming weeks follow us on Instagram. Always supervise young children while playing with toys containing small parts.

*This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you, should you make a purchase.

Same same, but different

Anyone who tells you the only thing that matters from a birth is a healthy baby has clearly never experienced a traumatic birth. My first birth was extremely traumatic. Instead of the calm, natural birth I'd dreamt of, I had the chance to labour ripped away from me with no notice thanks to an undiagnosed breech baby. I was whisked away for an emergency c-section amidst a flurry of fear, pumped full of drugs and felt like I had no control over the situation whatsoever. In the end I got a healthy baby, but I also got intense resentment, postnatal depression and anxiety which lasted for months. I felt like a failure as a mum from the very beginning and I had trouble bonding with my baby because of it.

So when I finally fell pregnant the second time I had huge fears of it happening again. I was offered an elective c-section from the very beginning, but there was no way I was ever going to agree to one. I wanted to have the natural birth I missed out on the first time. More than anything though I wanted the chance to at least try and achieve it. If something went wrong then I'd be fine with needing a c-section, I just wanted to be given the chance to attempt a vbac. Thankfully the hospital were very supportive of a vbac, I just had to dodge obstacles like gestational diabetes, a breech baby and the million and one other things that could derail my plan.

Apart from a minor blip where my little lady was lying transverse for a few weeks {just to freak me out}, I successfully avoided all the obstacles in my path. The final hurdle was to avoid needing induction. I honestly wasn't even worried about that because I was sure my baby girl was coming early this time. As the weeks went by though I started to get more nervous. It seems my lovely little ladies like to make me wait and wait and wait some more. Once I was officially overdue I felt like my dream of a vbac might be slipping away. In fact it got to the point I thought she was going to just hang out in there forever and I'd never go into labour at all {being overdue really messes with your head}.

40 weeks pregnant

We did have a few practice runs though with about 7 or so different periods of false labour. False labour is so much fun, its all the pain of real labour then after a few hours your body gives you the proverbial finger and says sorry just kidding, you wont be having a baby tonight. All pain, no gain. So much fun, not. Although her big sister put me through the same thing so I expected nothing less. After about the third time I stopped getting excited about having contractions and refused to even time them unless they went on for over an hour. I expected real labour to happen like the first time with a big pop and gushing of my waters. There's really no mistaking you're having a baby when that happens. Evidently this time was going to be different, I just didn't know it yet.

Early in the morning on Tuesday the 11th April I started having contractions, again. They were strong enough to keep me awake and by 4am I decided to call birthing suite. After hearing me breathing through some over the phone they told me to come in. So I called my mum and arranged for her to come watch bub, then went and told T we needed to go to hospital. He had no idea I'd been having contractions for hours while he was asleep because I hadn't bothered waking him. I'm considerate like that, and I honestly thought it would peter out as usual.

When we got to the hospital it was eerily quiet and calm. No screaming women in labour or queues of people waiting. We managed to skip triage and went straight to a birthing suite. I even scored a room with a birthing pool {not that I'd be allowed to use it}. It was going perfectly. Until it wasn't. My contractions started to fizzle out {as usual} and I had a panic attack thinking they'd send me for a c-section. I thought I'd totally blown my chance at a vbac.

Thankfully the midwives were amazing and instead sent me for a walk for an hour to see if the contractions would come back. So naturally we went across the road and had Hungry Jacks for breakfast because we were both starving by this point. My contractions slowed and were more like braxton hicks so after a few hours sitting around in triage we were sent home. I'd always feared being sent home, especially while having contractions, because we live an hour from the hospital and I was paranoid I'd give birth in the car. But, this time I was so happy, I felt like I'd dodged a bullet not being forced into a c-section.

I didn't have to wait long to visit my friends at the hospital again. The very next night at about 6pm I started getting contractions again. At least that's when I started paying attention to them and timing them thinking it might finally be the real deal. They kept intensifying and it got to the point where I couldn't talk through them. I actually had to stand and sway around in circles to get through them. After a few hours of that I called my mum again to come over. It was kind of surreal because even when she came over its like nobody in the room thought I was really in labour except me. It's probably my own fault because I have a high pain threshold, but I felt a bit like the girl who cried wolf trying to convince everyone it was actually real.

Even when we got to the hospital the midwife didn't believe me. She agreed I was having real contractions, but they weren't intense enough for me to be at the hospital so I'd probably be sent home. Her exact words "I don't think you'll be having a baby tonight". My response to that was something along the lines of fucked if I'm not, this baby IS coming out. Said completely metaphorically inside my head. I almost lost it. At nearly 5 days overdue after multiple cases of false labour I was done. If they sent me home I was staying there until my baby literally crawled out of my vagina on the lounge room floor. I literally started imagining being on the news because I'd had an unplanned home vbac and something had gone horribly wrong. Pregnancy hormones + the anxiety of a vbac + being almost a week overdue is a very potent combination.

I''m not sure if it was the stress of the situation, or my determination to prove the midwife wrong, but my contractions started ramping up instead of fizzling out. Hallelujah. After hearing me moaning through my contractions from the nurses station the midwife returned and decided that actually it was happening after-all. Suddenly I was getting a cannula and being moved to birth suite. Finally it was on like Donkey Kong and there was no turning back. I was having a baby!

Unfortunately I was having a baby very slowly. Despite consistent contractions 3 minutes apart from 10pm I spent hours in the birth suite pacing backwards and forwards, bouncing on a fitball and laying in bed pretending to sleep to pass time. Oh and peeing pretty much every half an hour the entire time. One of the things I was always intrigued by before having kids was whether or not you could/would be able to pee during labour. I honestly don't even remember if I did the first time around because everything happened so fast. but I can now categorically prove you can pee while in labour. And you can do it a lot! And it's super annoying because you have contractions the whole time. Thankgod for wireless monitors.

Anyway I digress...

After about 4 hours I had a VE to check if I was dilated and my cervix was still completely closed. So high and closed that they had trouble actually finding it. At one point I had the obstetrician, midwife and student midwife all at the end of my bed with the big torch light thing gazing deep into my nether regions all having a go trying to find it. Yep that was up there as one of the weirdest experiences of my life. You really do lose all sense of dignity while in labour. I'm just thankful they were all women. In reality they would see so many hoo-ha's every day it'd be a complete non event to them, but I certainly felt like some weird show and tell presentation. In the end it was decided I could have another 4 hours and they'd check again.

So I spent another four hours pacing, bouncing, rocking, swaying and peeing my way through contractions. And guess what T did? He fell asleep. Like all good birthing partners should, because clearly he was exhausted and had had such a long night sitting in a chair watching me go through so much pain. NOT BITTER ABOUT THAT AT ALL. I was debating whether to post a photo of him sleeping on Facebook so he could feel the wrath of my friends, buuuut that would kind of ruin the surprise of any birth announcement to follow, so I refrained. Still pissed about it though, just between you and me.

In the early hours of the morning {after T finished his beauty sleep} the obstetrician came back to check again and there was still no change. I thought for sure I'd be at least 1-3cm dilated by now. I mean hours and hours of contractions 3mins apart had to of been doing something. It's just cruel to go through all that and get nowhere. I wasn't worried though I thought ok so we'll move onto the cooks catheter and try and get things moving. Then she went to chat with her superior and delivered the blow. He said the best decision was to do an emergency c-section for failure to progress.

I was devastated. I immediately bawled my eyes out, but at the same time I didn't really fight it. I'd been awake for over 24hrs and in labour for 12 of those. I was exhausted and didn't really want to endure hours and hours of more contractions that could end up with the same result anyway. Maybe if I'd been labouring all day after a proper nights sleep instead of all night I might of had more energy and felt differently, but I was spent. I signed the consent forms amidst a stream of tears and then waited for them to come back and get me for surgery. For months leading up to this point I'd hoped for a vbac, but I always knew there was a chance I'd need a repeat c-section and I was ok with that. My tears were because I was petrified it would lead to postnatal depression again.

Being wheeled down the corridors to the operating theatre I was apprehensive, but it was different. Last birth I felt like I was being taken away because I was a failure before I'd even tried, but this time it was almost exciting. I was still clinging to some minute hope we'd get to theatre and I'd be magically dilated and push my baby out right then and there on the table, but if I didn't I still didn't feel like a failure. In an odd way it felt like a small victory. Things weren't playing out as I'd hoped, but I'd given it my best shot and I knew my body was ready to finally meet my baby. At that point it no longer bothered me how that happened, as long as it finally happened. I knew when I came out of that room I'd have my little girl.

The atmosphere in the room was so calm and organised, nothing like the fast paced chaos of my first emergency c-section. There was no rushing around, being pumped full of drugs and wondering what the hell was going on like last time. I requested they do another VE before they started the operation just incase there was a chance things were progressing {it'd been 2hrs since they last checked and my contractions had intensified, so I was hoping things may have changed}. As expected though there was still no change at all. Completely and utterly closed. This baby just did not want to come out, at least not the conventional way.

The anesthetist I had this time was so lovely and she took the time to explain everything she was doing. Everything felt so relaxed. The only time I was nervous was when she was trying to get the spinal in the right spot because the ob who was holding me in place said to me we're only allowed 2 attempts then you have to be put under. Umm I'm sorry why, why the hell would you tell me that at the exact moment in time I'm trying to grit my teeth through intense contractions and contort my body into the correct {highly uncomfortable} position for a big f@$* off needle to be inserted into my back? I'm petrified of needles as it is, I didn't need the added stress of thinking I was going to be unconscious for my baby's birth and miss it completely. Thankfully though the anesthetist was awesome and she got it in first time. I still remember the exact moment it worked because I started going numb and felt instant relief. It's kind of funny because first time around I was so scared of being paralysed and not being able to feel my legs, yet this time I was thinking thankgod and seeing it as a blessing. It helped that I knew my legs would just go tingly and warm instead of not being able to feel them at all.

During the operation I was speaking to the surgical nurse beside me about her grandkids and all sorts of things. It was like I was having a chat with old friends, not laying on an operating table being cut open. I honestly can't believe how vastly different both experiences were, even though they took place in exactly the same room.

Baby girl surprised them when they opened me up as she was posterior and her little face was waiting to greet them. Totally explains the excruciating contractions. She finally entered the world {screaming her lungs out} at 9:05am April 13th and they laid her on my chest. We both looked at each other and said wow she looks just like her sister. Like almost identical, except that she had brown eyes and brown hair. I had skin to skin with her until they took her away to recovery and it was just so magical and healing. I felt an instant connection with her. I felt like I already knew her. It probably helped that this time I got a baby that looks like me {her sister's blonde hair and blue eyes totally threw me when she was born}.

I really feel like this birth, even though it ultimately ended the same way as my first, was so very emotionally healing for me. After my first birth I spent months, years if I'm completely honest, trying to come to terms with what happened. Mourning the fact that I didn't get to experience a natural birth, feeling like a failure and feeling like less of a woman and a mum because of it. Thankfully 10 months on I still haven't had any of those feelings this time. If there's one thing I've learnt now I've given birth twice, it's that every birth is completely different, even when they end the same way. Also posterior labour really hurts.

Toni x

* for those interested, you can read about my first birth here.

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