10 blogging tips from Problogger

For the past two years I've been watching on from afar at all the lucky bloggers attending Problogger each year wishing I was a part of it all. This year was finally my year. I finally indulged my fomo and packed my bags, left bub at home and went off on my own blogging adventure for the weekend. Amongst all the amazing food, networking, partying, and did I mention the amazing food, I actually managed to squeeze in quite a bit of learning as well. I learnt so much over the course of two days that my brain still has lots of processing to do, but these are my top 10 blogging tips from the 2015 Problogger conference.

10 THINGS I LEARNT FROM PROBLOGGER

1. I am a glow stick

Without a doubt one of the most inspirational speeches of the entire weekend was from Jadah Sellner{of Simple Green Smoothies fame}. A lot of the points below were also touched on in her speech, but the biggest takeaway was the slide at the end. Its okay to be a glow stick - sometimes we need to break before we shine.

I doubt I could find a quote more relevant to me if I trawled through Pinterest for days. I've been broken many times throughout my life, and in many different ways, yet each time I put myself back together and soldier on. I don't know that I'm actually shining yet, but I very much relate to the metaphor that sometimes you have to be broken before you can shine. Sometimes just coming out of the situation that broke you is enough to make you shine brighter than you did before. 

2. Do your own thing

Don't fall into the trap of following what others do, just be yourself and do your own thing. Trying to copy what another person does will rarely work because you're not them. At the end of the day your readers come to read your blog because they love YOU. They like the way you do things, there's no need to be anyone else.

3. Write in your own voice

Be true to yourself and write the same way you speak in real life. Your blog should be like a conversation between friends. I already do this naturally, minus the swearing. I fear you would all up and leave if I swore as much as I do in real life. That's a lie I don't swear at all *cough* I just choked on my drink.

4. Be more confident

No matter how many followers I have on Facebook or how much interaction I get on the blog or social media, there's still a part of me that doesn't believe I'm good at all this. I still feel like a fraud {but I have no idea why}. I've learnt over the weekend that I really need to be more confident in my abilities and believe in what I do. I also need to learn to take it on board when people tell me I'm a good writer, instead of fobbing it off or making excuses. We all need to work on taking compliments better, people don't give them out for no reason.

5. Don't be afraid to fail

This is something I really need to get over. Even though I've been blogging now for over 3 and a half years there are still times when I don't do things I want to do, because I'm scared I'll fail. Times when I'm too worried about the judgement of others. I've decided next year is the year where I DO all the things I want to do and action all the ideas I have swirling around in my head. I already have something in the pipeline and I can't wait to share it with everyone.

6. There is not one magical way that works.

I think so many people go to conferences like Problogger in the hope of finding that one magical key tip that's going to change their lives and make them an overnight success. I'd even go further than that and say people were expecting a step by step list of how to be successful. I came away from Problogger with a list of notes on how I could try and make my blog better, but moreso with an overwhelming confirmation that there is not one magical way that works for every blogger. The key to success is to simply try, try and try again until you find what works for YOU. What works for you more than likely may not work for others. I honestly don't think there's a quick way to be a successful blogger because it takes a lot of time and effort to foster a loyal and engaged community of readers {they don't just appear overnight}.

7. There must be a pay off for your readers

As much as us bloggers can be a self indulgent bunch of people, because well der we write about ourselves all the time, our blog is not only for us. There has to be something in it for the readers. This isn't a new notion to me, its always floating around in the back of my subconcious. I always try to give my readers something from every post, whether it be inspiration, general advice, laughter or more obvious things like prizes from giveaways, but I'm not sure if I hit the mark all the time. I'm going to keep this more in the forefront of my mind as I write posts going forward and try where possible to offer more value to my readers.

8. Change lives

There was a lot of talk over the weekend about WHY you write. I primarily write to leave a footprint, but I've decided I don't want to just leave a footprint, I really do want to change lives. Not on a grand scale by creating world peace or anything like that, but I want to use the struggles I've been through to touch the hearts of others and let them know that they're not alone. To assure them that others have been on the same journey as them and come out the other side. Not only does it give a purpose to all the struggles I went through, but it also gives meaning to others at the same time.

That's why I've shared my journey with postnatal depression and why I'm actually grateful for going through that experience. Its why I share what it was like having a parent who committed suicide. Its why I also share bub's allergy issues for other parents who may have children dealing with the same issues and be feeling just as lost as I was in the beginning. By sharing our stories we can all grow and learn, and help each other.

9. Be more organised

I definitely need to be more organised, I'm sure we all do to some extent. I know this is something I really need to work on. I need to make better use of batch writing and my editorial calendar so that I'm not up at 10pm each night writing blog posts like a mad woman crazy sleep deprived mum the night before I publish them. I've started putting more effort into planning and jotting down ideas on actual paper as I have them, instead of storing them in the deep depths of my brain hoping I can find them again at a later date. Its my dream to one day be fully organised and have a proper office and know exactly what I'm doing one week to the next. I'm slowly trying to get there, but I'm not sure if I can really make huge changes with a 2yr old ruling the household at the moment. But we can all dream.

10. You're nuts trying to blog with a 2yr old.

Ok so this one technically came from after the conference when I asked in a Facebook group exactly how I'm meant to find the time to be organised with blogging while I have a 2yr old climbing on me/screaming at me/throwing toys at me/trying to sit on my laptop... and there were generally two types of responses. Keep her occupied with tv or send her to daycare... or just give up because I'm crazy trying to blog with a 2yr old in the first place. Ok to be fair there were some relatively useful tips in there too, but the general consensus is that I'm nuts for blogging with a toddler on the loose and I have to say I don't entirely disagree with that, but I'll soldier on regardless because I'm a gluten for punishment its my passion.

Dairy free zucchini and corn mini muffins

Having a child with multiple food allergies makes food really hard. I've been making all her food from scratch since she started on solids. To be honest I probably would've done that regardless of her food allergies, but the allergies have made it a lot more challenging. Because of this I've pretty much avoided baking for the last 18 months, but we're getting to the fussy eating toddler stage and I need to have an arsenal of different food up my sleeve to keep the food dodging toddler satisfied.

Bub is allergic to dairy, soy, eggs and a number of other foods so it makes baking difficult {which is why I've avoided it for so long}. However over the past few months I've found some great substitutes for all of these things and have started creating my own dairy, soy and egg free recipes so she can enjoy the same kind of foods as her friends. My most recent creation are these dairy free zucchini and corn mini muffins.

Two of the foods that bub's guaranteed to eat even at her fussiest are zucchini and corn and it just so happens that they go perfectly together so it was a no-brainer to combine them in a muffin. I've kept the recipe super simple with the least amount of ingredients necessary. You can of course add extra ingredients if you like {i.e. spring onion, spices or bacon}.

As an alternative to cow's milk we've been using oat milk as I find its gentler on her belly and it doesn't sweeten the food. You could also use unsweetened almond milk or rice milk. It took me a while to find a substitute for cheese, but I finally found Bio Cheese which is based on coconut oil {its also soy free}. You can make these as proper muffins, but because bub wouldn't eat an entire muffin in one go I made them in patty cake pans.

INGREDIENTS

- 1 medium zucchini {grated}
- ½ cup corn kernels
- 1 cup grated bio cheese 
- 2 cups self-raising flour
- 1 cup oat milk
- ¼ cup olive oil
- 2 eggs beaten {using egg replacer powder}

METHOD

1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees celsius. Line patty cake pans with paper cases

2. Combine zucchini, corn, cheese and flour in a large bowl.

3. Mix milk, oil and egg replacer in a jug until well combined. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour the liquid into it. Gently stir all ingredients together until they're just combined.

4. Fill patty cases half way. Bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.


They can be served warm or cold and are great as a snack for morning tea or afternoon tea. They can also be frozen for up to 3 months {just wrap each muffin in cling wrap and seal in a sandwich bag}. One batch made 18 mini muffins which will be more than a months supply for us so I've frozen ours and just re-heat them in the microwave when she wants one.

When motherhood doesn't go the way the baby books say it will

Having a baby is meant to be one of the happiest times of your life. That's what I thought. That's what the media {well everyone really} tells us. All of the images in the baby books are of happy mums and smiling bubs. The pamphlets they give you at the hospital are full of the same. And everyone always talks about the overwhelming surge of love and happiness you will feel when you meet your baby for the first time. What's not to be happy about?

I didn't have the easiest road to motherhood, but once I was pregnant I never doubted my ability to be a mother or to love my child. I'd looked forward to motherhood my whole life. I wanted nothing more than to bring new life into the world and have the privilege of raising a little person. I knew I'd love my baby with every ounce of my being. I just knew it.

I've always been drawn to babies. I had a very strong maternal instinct from very early on. I was always looking after my friends and making sure everyone was ok. I was very much the mother hen. Nurturing was in my nature so there was no reason why I should question what lay ahead. My dream was finally coming true. I knew labour was going to hurt {like a bitch}, but it'd be worth it and after that everything would be perfect. Why wouldn't it be?

Unfortunately I ended up being as far away from the perfect mum depicted in the books as I could of been. Through no fault of my own, my initial experience of motherhood wasn't warm and fuzzy. The first time I saw my baby I wasn't overwhelmed with love - I was in complete shock that I'd just undergone an emergency c-section. I was spaced out on a concoction of drugs that had been pumped into me in an incredibly short period of time. My teeth wouldn't stop chattering and my whole body was shaking. I was trying to comprehend the fact that I'd just gone through major surgery {and that it was over before I'd even had the chance to process that it'd be happening in the first place}. 

There was no lovingly staring into my babies eyes. No skin on skin contact and surge of happy hormones. Only shaking and disbelief. I couldn't even hold her because I was shaking so badly (a side effect of Pethidine). Then she was whisked away to recovery while I was stitched back together. I'd just given birth in a whirlwind of activity, people {so many people}, drugs and on a sterile cold table and then she was taken away from me a few minutes later. It didn't even seem real.

That's when the sadness started creeping in. I was mourning the fact that I didn't get the natural birth I wanted. I didn't have a preconceived idea of how I wanted my birth to play out, just that I wanted to at least try and have a natural birth. Going into labour there was no reason why this wouldn't be possible, so to end up having an emergency c-section without even being allowed to attempt pushing was a real shock. I felt robbed of my evolutionary right to birth my own child. I muddled through all the midwife checks under a thin veil of mock happiness whilst keeping my sadness hidden inside. Sleep deprivation and plummeting hormones weren't helping. The whole time I kept thinking "I finally have my baby I always wanted, how dare I be unhappy".

I was desperately seeking the strong bond that everyone says is natural. For some reason it just wasn't there. How could I not feel an instant bond to my baby when she was my own child? I most certainly loved her, that was never a question, but I just didn't feel that bond that I was supposed to feel. Because of this I felt incredible guilt. I thought I was cheating her out of the mother/daughter relationship she deserved. I'd only been a mum for a few days and I already felt I'd failed at it. I was certain I was a bad mum. I didn't dare tell anyone incase they thought I was a bad mum too.

I eventually opened up to one of my closest friends and admitted that I thought I couldn't cope, that I didn't know what I was doing and that I felt horrible. She didn't tell me I was a bad mum. She didn't brush me off either. She came over and helped me. She listened to me. She saw me at my lowest and hugged me while I cried. She didn't judge me, she supported me. She played a pivotal part in helping me to deal with my depression.

Over the next few weeks I sought help from numerous people and professionals and I went back to feeling like me. I now have an incredibly close bond with my baby. It wasn't instant, but it grew very, very strong over time. She's an extension of me and I don't feel whole without her.

{Photos taken by Katharine Maree Photography}

I want other mums to know sometimes you don't feel an instant bond with your baby. It doesn't mean you're a bad mum. We shouldn't feel pressured to live up to social stereotypes and expectations, or feel bad when we don't. Life doesn't always go the way the books say it will. And that's OK.

I still love her more than anything and she loves me and that's all that matters.

Did you feel an instant bond when you gave birth?

Toni x

Globber My Free 4 in 1 kids Scooter Review

Unlike most of the other kids in mothers group bub wasn't really interested in any ride on toys until well after she could walk. Because of this we never bothered buying any of the cool baby ride on musical toys or trikes {much to my disappointment, but T is thankful}. In the last few weeks however she's finally started showing an interest in ride-ons. She's still a bit unsure, but she's willing to give them a go, which is good timing because we got a Globber scooter a few weeks ago.

The Globber My Free 4 in 1 is an awesome little scooter that's perfect for toddlers right through to approximately 6 years old. Like the name suggests, it has 4 different functions in the 1 product so it grows and adapts along with your child. It starts out as a parent controlled ride on balance bike, then the handle can be removed so it becomes a balance bike, then the seat can be removed to turn it into a mini scooter and as your child grows the handle can be adjusted to turn it into a proper scooter for big kids.

Please note this scooter has since been renamed as Globber Evo 4 in 1 Scooter and the most recent version is the Globber GO UP Sporty Scooter. The functions of the scooter remain the same with some hardware upgrades.

As bub still isn't quite 2 yet we've only used the scooter in the balance bike positions, both with and without the handle. At first bub was a bit wary of it {like she is with all ride ons} so I let her play with it how she wanted before making her sit on it. She actually likes pushing the scooter around herself with the handle at the back {yep she likes to do things her own way, even if its not the way its supposed to be done}. So when we take it out anywhere she spends as much time pushing it around as she does riding it.

She does ride on it as well, but for some reason she mainly likes riding on it at home. Perhaps she feels safer at home, or maybe she just doesn't want the other kids to watch her incase she falls off {although she's never fallen off}. I'm sure she'll get used to it more and be zooming around the park in no time. For now she's having fun burning off energy zooming around the lounge room and backyard.

Even though she hasn't used the scooter in all 4 settings yet, I can see the many benefits the scooter has. And to be honest if it was big enough for us to use it T and I would definitely have given it a go ourselves by now. Since bub can't talk enough to answer my questions about what she thinks of the scooter, I've put together a list of my favourite features.

My favourite features of the Globber My Free 4 in 1 scooter {Globber GO UP Sporty scooter} are:

Easy to assemble & use

I'm not going to lie, I handed it over to T to put together assuming it'd be way too hard {and frustrating} for me to put together. It turns out its actually really easy to assemble. Of course he did it without reading the instructions properly like all men do {and he didn't screw it up, which is a surprise and a testament to how easy it is to put together}. It's also really easy to change between the different modes, you literally just click the handle bar section in and out of positions.

Also being a scooter {aka not a bicycle with pedals} its really easy for kids to use and they can also control the speed which is great while they're learning balance. The brake is also easy to apply over the back pedal, for both kids once they've mastered it and parents who may need to stop it for the younger kids.

Safety features
The scooter has a number of safety features built in including the parental control handle when used as a balance bike so you know they can't zoom off when they're not confident enough. There's also a steering lock for the front wheels which can be used in conjunction with the parent handle as they're learning. When its unlocked steering is controlled by leaning on either side of the scooter not turning the handle which again helps children to learn balance. The brake is also really easy to use which provides peace of mind. The scooter deck is also specifically designed lower to the ground to cater for younger children.

Adjustable seat + handle height
The adjustable seat and handle heights are great because kids don't all come in the same shape and size. They all grow at different rates and times so being so adjustable means the Globber My Free 4 in 1 caters for all kids within the age and weight restrictions regardless of their height.

Ergonomic seat
The seat isn't just a standard flat uncomfortable seat, its ergonomically shaped for the most comfort. It also has a smooth, soft touch feel to it {well as soft as plastic can get}.

Excellent quality

You can tell just by touching the scooter that its not made from cheap materials like other cheap trikes and ride ons available. The seat, base and handles feel nice to touch and aren't scratchy. It also isn't hollow like lots of other ride ons are, its got a decent weight to it. The wheels are also made from high quality, high rebound polyurethane with nylon cores.

Grows with the child

The best feature of the Globber My Free 4 in 1 is that it can be used from when your child's twelve months old right through to when they're at school. The seat position can be used to a maximum of 20kg and then the scooter base can be used to a maximum of 50kg. There's not many other kids products that have such longevity.

Value for money

Although it may seem like a huge outlay at first {$160} I think its a worthy investment over time. Because the one product can be used for so many years and in so many forms it saves having to buy separate ride ons, balance bikes and scooters which can all be around $100 each. I'm also pretty confident that it'll last longer than she'll use it for so it'll most likely be passed down to any other children we have in the future as well.

The Globber GO UP is a great first scooter for younger kids and a great way to introduce them to riding, scooting and learning balance. It allows them to feel independent, while also giving parents piece of mind as they're learning. The innovative design features also puts it leaps ahead of other kids scooters and ride-ons on the market. You can purchase the Globber GO UP in Australia directly from Globber or from Toymate and Amazon AU. It can also be purchased in America from the Globber Amazon store.

Disclosure - All opinions expressed in this review are my own based on our experience with the product, as per my disclosure policy. I received a scooter from Globber for the purpose of review, but did not receive payment for this review. This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience, which means I may make a small commission at no cost to you, should you make a purchase.

An open letter to all the other mums

Dear other mums,

Yes I am the mother of that child.

The child who can be playing happily one minute then having a major meltdown the next. The child who kicks and screams and throws herself around to get her point across when she's frustrated. The same child who doesn't care that she's in a public place when she's having said meltdown. The same child who you, unfortunately, look upon with shock, horror and dismay.

Yes she does all of these things and yes you did just see them, but there are so many things you don't.

Yes you are seeing a very strong child battling with her mum with every ounce of her being, but what you forget in that moment is just how tiny she really is. She's not even 2yrs old. She may be physically strong, but in many ways she's still so so little so please don't expect her to be able to act beyond her years. 

Yes you see me flustered and struggling to control her, and to you that may look like I have no control, but what you don't know is how much I'm actually in control. It takes an immense amount of mental control to zone out everything around me and focus purely on my daughter. To zone out all the judging eyes I can feel piercing into me from all angles. To zone out the sounds of gasps and whispering. To push aside my own feelings {of embarrassment} and focus entirely on hers. It takes an exorbitant amount of self control. So while she may be losing it, I most certainly am not. 

Yes she may be interrupting your nice day out with her loud screaming, but please know she's not interrupting you on purpose. In fact the last thing she has on her mind is the people surrounding her. In those short, albeit intense, moments when she's having a meltdown there's so much going on in her mind that she's no longer aware of her surroundings or the people in them. Her feelings are so intense and she hasn't yet learnt what they mean or how to process them. So she expresses them in the only way she knows how. She doesn't have the capacity to understand sadness or disappointment so she gets frustrated.

Yes I am the mother of that child and I'm glad she's mine.

I apologise for the screaming and the kicking and the interruption to your day. 

What I don't apologise for is having a strong willed daughter who feels safe enough to express herself. While it may seem like an inconvenience now, someday that self confidence and conviction will serve her well. 

Yes I am the mother of that child and yes you see her at her worst, but what you don't see is when she's at her best - which is the other 95% of our day. You're only seeing a tiny snapshot.

So I ask you, if you happen to see me when she's at her worst please simply give me an empathetic smile, like I would to you. Please don't stand and stare at us. Please don't say nasty things about her or me. Please don't be so quick to judge. Because, as we both know, our children aren't at their best all the time and at some point you too will be the mother of that child.

We're all navigating this parenting journey one day at a time and we're all doing the best for our babies, so lets be a little kinder to each other.

Toni x

How to Transform Shadow Boxes into Sonny Angel Houses {Kmart Hacks}

So you've started collecting Sonny Angels and now you need somewhere super cute to display them, but don't know where to start. Don't worry those of us who are thoroughly obsessed with Sonny's have worked it out for you. Kmart currently stock a heap of different shadow boxes which all provide the perfect storage solution for Sonny Angels. They're a bit plain to start with, but below are a number of ways to jazz them up to provide a cute and stylish storage option to fit any decor.

HOW TO TRANSFORM KMART SHADOW BOXES INTO SONNY ANGEL HOUSES

The house display shelf is the original shadow box that was available at Kmart and the one that really started the whole shadow box craze. It comes in a light wood with a fabric covered backing. It's not ideal for hacking as the fabric makes it harder to paint, but being the first one released it was the only choice at one stage. I've spray painted two of them gloss white. They do take a whole can of spray paint because the fabric soaks up a lot of the paint. The newer house shelf is easier to hack, but I prefer the shape of the original one as it has higher top shelves which are better for the taller sonny angels {rabbit, fawn, reindeer etc}.

Ruby Two Shoes {@RUBYTWOSHOES_} painted her shadow box white and added some extra flair with different coloured paper in each box. Its perfect for storing Sonny Angels and LaLaLoopsy dolls.

HOUSE SHADOW BOX

This is the newer version of the house shadow box and comes with different printed backing paper. You can keep this house as is, however the sonny angels show up better with plain backgrounds. Most of the hacks of these ones are simply spray painting the create a plain background, although some people have also removed the top t-bar to allow for more room at the top. 

TIP: If you're spray painting the backing board knock it off and spray the white back instead of spraying over the paper.

Jules {@tas_and_ellie} has transformed her shadow box with a coat of gold on the backing board. It looks super cute styled with the felt garland.

Mandy {My Lovely Little Nest} painted her entire shadow box yellow.

Junessa painted the back of her shadow box pale pink and also cut out the top t-bar section to make more room.

HEXAGON SHADOW BOX

One of the newer shadow boxes is the hexagon shadow box which is white with a neon pink background. The space between the shelves is a lot higher than in the house shadow boxes so it allows for taller sonny angels or can be used for other bigger toys. I have a hexagon shadow box but at the moment I've kept it as is and am storing other toys in it {mind you if my collection keeps growing I may have to convert it to a Sonny house too}.

Krystle has changed the backing to a lighter pink and styled her Sonny's with cute little ice creams and cakes.

Mandy {My Lovely Little Nest} has painted the inside edges of her hexagon shelf yellow and retouched the backing board to make it a lighter pale pink then finished it off with polka dot pink washi tape. As a washi tape addict myself I'm loving the edging.

Laura has gone all out with her shadow box hack transforming it into a vertical garden for her Sonny Angels. She's spray painted the whole box gold and added fake grass and gorgeous little heart pins. She took inspiration from all the vertical gardens being featured on The Block lately and it looks AMAZING.

KIDS HOUSE STORAGE BOXES

The newest addition to the Kmart shadow box range is the kids house storage boxes which come in a set of two with one large house box in aqua and a smaller house box with a shelf in bright yellow. I've just bought this set which I'm going to spray paint gold to store Sonny Angels in one and Schleich animals in the other. Of course I haven't finished mine in time for this post so here's some inspiration from others.

Amy {The Wild Collective} spray painted her smaller house shadow box copper and removed the backing board.

ORIGINAL HOUSE STORAGE BOXES

The original 2 pack of house storage boxes aren't as ideal as Sonny Angel houses because they're so tall, but they can still be used for them. They also make good storage for bigger toys and can be altered to match any decor.

Fee_loves_  painted her shadow boxes white on the inside and teal and lavender to match her daughters room. There's a few pictures of them on her Instagram feed styled in different ways.

Megan {@indieandsloan} has kept the shadow boxes as is and styled one in her sons room and one in her daughters room with their respective Sonny Angels.

That's a wrap for all the Kmart shadow boxes, however if you still want some more Sonny Angel house inspiration these are two examples of a shadow box from New Zealand store The Warehouse for you to lust over. I would love to get my hands on one of these!

Anna {@shoeless_kiwi} is the lucky owner of this gorgeous shadow box and Sonny Angel collection.

Nicky {@mamma_loves_2babes} also owns one of these gorgeous shadow boxes and I love how she's used the wooden block to display her Sonny Angels.


Shadow boxes can be transformed into all sorts of houses, not just for Sonny Angels. Find out the step by step processed I used to transform a shadow box into a fairy house here.

Toni x

Disclosure - All images used within this post were used with express permission from the original owner. This post contains some affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you, should you make a purchase.

The Ultimate Guide to Sonny Angels - What are they & where to buy them

I have to admit up until a few months ago I had no idea what Sonny Angels even were. Having a baby certainly opens you up to a whole new world that seems to exist in a parallel universe. Sonny Angels have been alive and well for years, only I was oblivious to their existence. Well not now! I've developed a pretty healthy obsession with them and it appears I'm not the only one. 

What are Sonny Angels?

If you're reading this and wondering what the hell Sonny Angels are, don't worry here's the short answer. Sonny Angels originate in Japan and are essentially a smaller version of the popular kewpie dolls. They're a miniature cupid style boy who's naked with angel wings on his back {I know it sounds weird}. 

What makes Sonny Angels unique is that they all have different head gear. There's a huge range of Sonny Angels including four different animal series, a marine series, fruit series and vegetable series. There's also a patisserie series as well as special edition series released to celebrate occasions like Easter and Christmas.

How the Bananas in Pyjamas have traumatised my child

Now don't get me wrong, we're huge fans of the Bananas in Pyjamas here. In fact it was one of the shows I was looking forward to watching the most when I had bub because it reminds me of my childhood {even though they've somehow managed to morph from "real people" into cartoon characters at some point during the last 25 years}. At 10am and 4pm each day we're at home we can usually be found in front of the tv waiting for our daily doses of B1 and B2. While I normally welcome these two into my home on a daily basis with open arms, right now I have a big bone to pick with them. It appears they've unintentionally traumatised my child.

No guys, its not Bananatastic!

Why brands should work with bloggers to promote their business

Are you considering working with bloggers but don't know where to start? Maybe you're just not sure why working with bloggers would be valuable for your business... Allow me to show you how working with bloggers can help to grow your business and increase your customer base.

Firslty let me say that most bloggers, like myself, don't open up their blog to working with brands without properly considering all the pros and cons beforehand. Those who offer brand collaborations have weighed up the value it can bring to their readers and the value they can bring to the brand. Most bloggers will be interested in creating ongoing mutually beneficial brand collaborations, rather than just earning a quick buck, which means long-term benefits for the brand.

WHY YOU SHOULD WORK WITH BLOGGERS

Bloggers offer a unique way to market your business directly to your target market as they already have an engaged and captive audience {both on their blog and social media channels}. Bloggers offer the virtual equivalent of word of mouth marketing, being able to promote your products in a conversational tone with an engaged audience. In a lot of cases bloggers can offer a more measurable and cost-effective return on investment than traditional advertising channels, especially for small businesses.

HOW TO CHOOSE A BLOG THAT FITS WITH YOUR BRAND

It's important to find a blog that's going to align well with your brand. Its worthwhile considering the following points to ensure you partner with a blogger who will meet your needs and be the right fit for your brand.

Stick to your niche

Campaigns will work best with bloggers who target the same niche as your business because you'll get your brand message across to potential customers who are already receptive to it and likely to take action. Instead of spreading the word across a broad spectrum, the majority of the time its best to use more targeted campaigns to reach the right customers for your business. For example if you sell kids clothing it would be best to align with a parenting blogger or a fashion blogger who specialises in kids fashion as they're already communicating with your niche market.

Choose a blog with the same target audience

In addition to choosing a blog within your target niche, you can go even further and refine your promotion by choosing a blog with the same target audience. Again coming back to the kids clothing example, your niche would be parents and your target market would be parents with young children so a parenting blog that is read by 25-45yr old women with children is going to be the best fit. This way you know your campaign is going to reach the exact people who you want to see it. You can usually find audience demographics in a bloggers media kit, or request specific statistics via email.

Quality over Quantity

It's easy to get caught up in the numbers and want to go with the blog that has the biggest following, that's natural, but take a moment to consider those numbers further. Its just as important to look at the level of engagement a blog {and its relevant social media channels} gets rather than just taking the follower numbers at face value. A smaller blog with an active, engaged and targeted audience will deliver a better result than one with large numbers, but no engagement.

A few ways to gauge a blog's engagement level is to look at the number of comments left on recent blog posts. Likewise, the number of likes and comments left on social media platforms {some readers feel more comfortable interacting via social media than on an actual blog post}. Check whether the blogger actively responds to comments left by readers to encourage conversations. If you want specific stats regarding engagement you could request Facebook insights or blog post statistics which most bloggers will be happy to provide upon request.

Consider your campaign objectives
If your objective is simply to create brand awareness, without a specific call to action, then a blog with a large following could be the best way to go as it has the potential to get your brand "seen" by a lot of people. However, if your objective is more specific like selling a certain product then its best to choose a blog with a more targeted audience who are likely to be potential customers and take action.

Read testimonials
Bloggers often have testimonials available either on their work with me pages or via their media kit. These give you an idea of other businesses they have previously worked with and how happy they were to collaborate with them. They also give you an insight into what the blogger is like to work with, which can all help you decide if they would be a good fit with your brand.

"I have been very happy to work with Toni. She has done a couple of reviews of our personalised products in a very honest and professional way. She was very good to keep in contact all the way via e-mails as to update on how things were going. I can highly recommend working with Toni – and hope to do some more work with her in the future" - Tea, Name My Stuff

"FMY has been a great fit for our brand Tiptoe & Co. Toni really understands the delicate balance between what people like to read and see, and what a brand likes people to know about their products. Her reviews are well written, she uses great photos and she takes the time to tell a story - that is why other parents can relate so well to her blog and one of the reasons for the success of FMY. We are looking forward to working with Toni again very soon!" - Chelsea, TipToe & Co

Contact the blogger

If you've found a blogger you think will be a good fit with your brand then contact them. Most bloggers prefer to be contacted via email, which should be easily found on their blog {usually on a work with me or contact me page}. Bloggers are a friendly bunch and we're happy to answer any questions you may have.

Most bloggers have a relationship with their readers based on trust and in order to maintain that trust will not promote products they don't truly believe in so don't be discouraged if some bloggers are not interested in partnering with your brand. Its better in the long run to partner with bloggers who truly believe in the brand and can convey this to their readership without damaging their valuable relationship with their readers. Honesty and transparency between a blogger and their readers plays a huge part in building a loyal readership, so working with a blogger who will honour that relationship built on trust will deliver a better result.

>> To find out if your brand would be a good fit with Finding Myself Young, please visit my Work With Me page.

What its like to be a child of suicide...

{TRIGGER WARNING} Please note this is my own personal experience and this post is not intended to give anyone advice in regards to suicide or mental illness. If you feel you need someone to talk to please contact your doctor or call Lifeline on 13 11 14, Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or the Suicide call back service on 1300 659 467 to seek professional help.

Firstly let me say being a child of suicide is something I hope none of you ever have to experience. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, even my greatest enemy (if I had one). Unfortunately this is the life I've had to live since I was 10. These were the cards I was dealt through no actions of my own. I had no choice but to accept it as reality, because it was. I've lived this life every day since June 7th 1995 when I found out my father had died {we found out a few days after her died}.

I've actually been able to quite successfully go through life without many people knowing that dad committed suicide. I always dread the "what does your dad do?" question because then I have to come out and tell people he's dead. The common response to this is "Oh I'm sorry, how did he die?". Sometimes I lie, but sometimes I tell the truth. Most people recoil in shock and wish they never asked when they find out its suicide. Others want to know how he did it. I get there's a certain level of curiosity, but discussing details about how my father killed himself isn't high on the list of conversations I want to have with people. Especially those who aren't my closest friends. I've mentioned his suicide on here before, but I've never once mentioned how he did it, and I don't intend to, because it doesn't serve a purpose bringing that out in a public arena. And to be honest I already re-live that in my head continuously even though I wasn't actually there when it happened. I don't need the reminder.

There's no point in me judging what he did. He's not here to defend himself. It's not going to bring him back and it won't change anything. I'll never have the answers I want so I'm not going to compound the hurt by adding anger on top of the pain. No point rubbing salt into my already deep wounds. But boy do I wish he'd never done it. That one single decision that he made has had a profound affect on my entire life. 

HOW SUICIDE HAS AFFECTED ME

I had to deal with kids teasing me
When I first returned to school straight after it happened all the kids in my grade had been told what had happened. The resident bully decided this was great ammunition to tease me even more than usual. The first day I went back I was greeted by her in the corridor pointing and laughing at me saying (really loudly) HA HA your dad killed himself! She probably didn't understand the gravity of the situation at 11 years old, but that's not really an excuse for her behaviour.

I live with subconscious guilt

I wasn't there when dad died (thank god), but I used to constantly wish I was. Because if I was there I keep thinking I could've stopped it. I know it probably wouldn't have made any difference and I know it wasn't my fault, but there's that tiny part of me that wonders.

I made bad choices in past relationships

I honestly think I allowed myself to be in a controlling relationship because I craved a male authority figure. I didn't have any male attention or a dad to build up my self confidence when I was growing up, so when my ex husband came along I lapped up the attention. Even though it was a very toxic type of attention.

I fear everyone is going to leave me at any point

I have the hugest fear that the people I love are going to up and leave me at the drop of a hat with no warning. Whether it be through an accident or of their own choosing, I'm always worried that when I'm happy its all going to be taken away in an instant. Because that's what happened before.

I'm a control freak and limit risks

I'm working on trying not to control everything and go with the flow more, but my natural tendency is to want to be in control of what happens. That way I can prevent bad things from happening - at least that's what my mind thinks. I deliberately limit risks so I don't put myself in situations where things could go wrong, however I'm also trying to work on this. I put off doing my V8 hot laps for months because I was scared something would go wrong, but in the end I did them and had an awesome time.

I live with an anxiety disorder
I'm not sure if its a direct product of dad's suicide or if I developed anxiety because of what happened after, but I have finally been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder. I always overestimate the likelihood of something bad happening and at the same time underestimate my ability to cope with it if it did happen. I've most likely had it for years, but I've never seen anyone about it until I was diagnosed with PND. The stress of having a new baby pushed me over the edge and my anxiety peaked and started to affect my ability to function on a daily basis, so I sought help. Since then I've learnt a lot of ways to help cope with my anxiety and I really wish I had of sought help years earlier instead of accepting that was how my life was.

I always go over the what ifs
What if dad didn't die? 
Would he like T? 
What if he was in bub's life? 
How would her life be different having a granddad?
Would I feel more loved if he was still around?

Image | Cherry Lola

There have been a few positives to come out of the situation though, if you could call them that. Going through such a traumatic experience at such a young age taught me a lot of life lessons. Lessons I probably wasn't ready to learn yet, but I learnt them none the less.

Knowing that things could change in an instant means I don't take anything for granted. I'm grateful for everything good that comes my way. I appreciate the small things. I slow down and really enjoy life and try to live in the moment as much as possible. I appreciate every. single. moment. I get to spend with bub and I tell her I love her every chance I get, no matter how busy life gets.

I wouldn't wish my life experience on anyone, but if there's one thing I can pass on to others it'd be to make sure you slow down and enjoy life. Laugh, smile and spend time together. Make beautiful, happy memories. Because one day you'll hold onto those memories so tight and be forever grateful that you made them.