Halloween Play Ideas for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Halloween is gaining popularity every year here in Australia, so I know my daughter will be exposed to it more and more as the years go on. So I've decided to introduce it to her in an age appropriate and fun way by incorporating Halloween themed activities into our daily play. These are some of the fun Halloween play ideas we've tried and how you can put them together for your own kids.

Toddlers and preschoolers don't have the longest attention spans so I deliberately put together low prep Halloween activities that I could set up in a few minutes. Lots of them are Halloween themed sensory play ideas because that's what holds her attention the longest at this age. They also work well as portable activities and are easy to pack away.

The Creative Toy Shop

One of the things I love most about social media is its ability to create real communities and bring people together. I'll probably never be a "famous" blogger because I don't subscribe to social media strategies such as follow threads, follow/unfollow on Instagram or automating my social accounts in order to grow my numbers, I much prefer to keep things real and develop proper connections with real people, even if that means I don't have as many followers as others. I've made some wonderful friendships with other ladies from all over the world thanks to my Facebook page and Instagram account which was one of the main reasons why I started blogging in the first place. Being a stay at home mum can be lonely a lot of the time and having these connections can make it feel a lot less lonely.

One of the lovely people I've met on Instagram is Brianna from Notes From a Home Educator. Brianna is an in home educator who works with a family of four young boys. She shares the activities they do each day on Instagram to inspire other educators and parents. I share a lot of the activities I do with bub each day on Instagram as well so I've been drawn to similar accounts and Brianna is one person I've developed a friendship with over the last year. She's so generous with sharing her ideas and is constantly inspiring me with her activities. As of this past weekend she's also now opened her own online store selling beautiful educational toys, activity guides, printables and resources. I'd secretly love to do the same, but I'd want to keep all the toys for myself bub, so instead I'll feed my toy addiction by buying from her.

The The Creative Toy Shop stocks gorgeous educational toy brands such as Magna-Tiles, Tegu, Hape and Grimm's {amongst others}. You all know by now I'm a sucker for wooden toys, right? Hape and Grimm's are two of my favourite high quality wooden toy brands so needless to say I now have a huge wish list from her store {don't tell T}. Bub's been lucky enough to add the Grimm's portable doll house to our ever growing wooden toy collection and I dare say we'll probably add more Grimm's toys in the future.

Grimm's are a family run wooden toy brand from Germany, made most famous by their iconic rainbow stackers. They also make a number of other stackers, puzzles and dolls. A common theme across all Grimm's toys is that they're very open ended to provide numerous different learning opportunities, depending on how children choose to explore them. I have to admit back when bub was little I was a big fan of literal toys that had an obvious {and most of the time singular} purpose, most likely because my ocd makes me want to do things the right way and not deviate much from that. Over the past few years I've changed my views and now fully embrace open ended, multi-purpose toys because I've seen just how much they inspire bub's imagination, which brings about many play experiences my literal adult brain may never have thought of. This is one of the reasons why I'm currently replacing all bub's plastic toys with wooden ones.

The Grimm's portable doll house makes the magic of pretend play portable so children can enjoy it anywhere without having to move a heavy doll house from room to room. Bub's had fun playing with hers on her activity table, in the lounge room and even outside. I'm almost certain it'll make a trip to grandma's house soon as well. I just need to get better at making sure it gets packed away after she's finished playing because I'm constantly finding pieces all over the house.

The doll house is made from lime wood coloured with non-toxic water-based dyes. It comes with 14 different pieces that all stack together within the carry case. Pieces include a bookshelf, sink, oven, chairs and table, as well as arched pieces that can be used as beds, walls, sofas {or bridges as bub sometimes does}. Each time bub plays with the doll house it's been in a different layout with different pieces being used as different furniture. As it's so open ended and transient kids wont lose interest as quickly as they would with traditional dolls houses or more literal toys because they're limited only by their imagination. There's also a blue/green and neutral version available because dolls aren't just for girls, just like cars aren't just for boys...

I'm so happy for Brianna as she embarks on this exciting new venture and I hope its a huge success for her, no doubt we'll be helping her with that by shopping up a storm. Make sure you check out the printables section for heaps of downloadable worksheets and puzzles to use at home.

Are you addicted to toys like me?

Toni x

Disclosure - I was provided the Grimm's portable doll house for the purpose of review, however I've already purchased more items myself. All opinions expressed are based on our experience with the product. I did not receive payment for this review. This post contains affiliate links.

How To Create A Magical Shadow Box Fairy House

When I was little one of my favourite movies was Fern Gully, I was so in love with the fairies and the thought that they really did exist. I wanted to be Crysta and have all her magical powers. I wanted to fly around all day protecting the forest. Imagine being able to really fly, how cool would that be?

Isn't it amazing how the things that excite us stay with us for years after we've grown up? I still get excited at the thought of fairies living in the forest, and there's a teeny part of me that believes it's possible. It proves just how powerful our imaginations really are. I want bub to experience this magic for herself. I want her to believe in fairies and I want her to think that anything's possible, like I did. I also hope her imagination lives on long after her childhood. 

Now days there are new fairies on the block to entertain our kids. Bub's favourite is princess Holly from Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom, closely followed by Nanny Plum {who just quietly is one of my favourites too}. Holly spends her days playing with other fairies and elves, doing magic and solving problems. Bub loves watching her adventures on tv each day and I'm fairly certain she thinks Princess Holly is just as real as I thought Crysta was.

What if we could take that magic out of the television screen and bring it to life? 

Love to Dream 2.5 tog nuzzlin sleep bag + arm warmers review

This week Queensland finally realised that its meant to be getting colder around here {only a few months late, but never the less we got there in the end}. I'm not sure if it was Autumn showing up fashionably late or Winter popping in a few days early, but since the start of the week its been decidedly cooler. I'm actually a huge fan of the cooler months, I love nothing more than jeans, socks, layering and lounging on the couch under a warm blanket {not that I do much of that since I had bub, but I can reminisce of days gone by}.

Thanks to our never ending summer this year, the sudden cold snap has come as a bit of a shock, especially at night. Just last week we were still sleeping with the air conditioner on to keep cool. This week we're sleeping with the air conditioner on to keep warm. It's funny how 20 degrees has gone from feeling really cool to really warm all of a sudden.

Bub isn't so lucky in her room though. She's gone from an average of 24 degrees overnight to an average of about 18 degrees. Even though she's nearly 3, I'm still paranoid about whether she's too hot or too cold overnight. Yep almost three years in and I still have anxiety about certain aspects of parenting, please tell me you do too? Thankfully Love to Dream sent me some of their new products for winter recently so we were prepared for the cool change this year.

LOVE TO DREAM NUZZLIN 2.5TOG SLEEP BAG

Love to Dream have recently released the 2.5 tog Nuzzlin sleeping bag, which is perfect for winter. We've been huge fans of the Nuzzlin range of bags so I definitely wanted to try out the new winter bag. The new 2.5tog Nuzzlin bag is nice and cosy for winter, but still quite lightweight like the rest of the Nuzzlin range. It's made from soft knitted cotton and is padded with 100% natural bamboo filling, meaning it's nice and warm, but not too heavy {your baby won't look like the michelin man}. The bamboo filling is also hypo-allergenic so it's great for littlies who have sensitive skin.

Like the 1.0 tog Nuzzlin bag, the 2.5 tog bag does up via press studs over the left shoulder and an extra long double ended zip. I love this system for so many reasons. Firstly it means the bag completely opens up flat making it really easy to get bub into it, especially on the nights she falls asleep before I've put her in the bag, getting a 17kg toddler manoeuvred into a sleep bag while they're passed out can be quite tricky, but having the bag laid flat certainly heaps. Secondly, the press studs above her shoulder mean she can't escape from her bag. Thirdly, the double ended zip {and the fact it goes from her toes to her armpit} means nappy changes are super easy during the night and I don't have to take her out of the bag.

The Nuzzlin 2.5 tog bag comes in three different designs, pink with a stripy penguin, blue with a stripy seal and grey and white stripes with a red whale. Of course we went with pink, because we're a little pink mad at our house, and seriously how cute is that penguin?! The bag also comes in three sizes - 4-12mths, 12-18mths and 18-36mths. Bub is in the 18-36mths size and is almost 3, but the bag is still quite long for her so it will definitely see us all through winter, which I'm so glad about because I'm not ready to give up sleeping bags yet.

BUT HOW DO YOU KEEP BABIES ARMS WARM IN WINTER?

The one drawback I've found with all the sleeping bags we've used however, has been that they don't have arms. Obviously the summer ones don't really need them, but I always worry in winter that her little arms are going to get so cold even with long sleeve pyjamas on. I know I certainly feel the cold in my arms at night and unlike me she doesn't have the luxury of snuggling her arms under a blanket {she would if she'd use them and stay underneath them, but clearly she hasn't learnt how awesome they are yet as she just kicks them off}. I know I'm not the only mum to feel this way either because we've had many chats about this in mothers group over the years.

Thankfully Love to Dream have been working behind the scenes to fix this problem and have now released new arm warmers. Like the Nuzzlin sleep bags, they're made from soft knitted cotton with 100% natural bamboo filling. They come in the signature Love to Dream grey marle with striped sleeves and are available in three sizes {4-12mths, 12-18mths and 18-36mths}.

The arm warmers are 2.5 tog and designed to work with any sleeping bag. They're also a great trans-seasonal item for when its just starting to get cool at night, but its not cold enough to switch sleep bags yet. We've been using these for a few weeks with her 1.0 tog bag before we switched her over to the 2.5 tog bag and they worked a treat. Probably one of the best inventions for babies and toddlers ever.

Disclosure - I was kindly gifted a 2.5 tog Nuzzlin sleep bag + a set of arm warmers for the purpose of review. All opinions expressed are my own based on our experience with the products, as per my disclosure policy. I did not receive payment for this review. Stock images used with permission from Love to Dream.

5 Classic Children's Books for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers

There are many classic children's books that form fond memories from my own childhood. I loved Winnie the Pooh, Peter Rabbit and Little Golden Books, just to name a few. I loved reading as a child, getting lost in far away fantasy worlds and going on huge adventures that weren't possible in real life. Perhaps it was escapism, or just the fact that I could indulge my imagination, but I was always drawn to books from a young age.

Much to my delight, bub's also loved reading since she was really little. Her love of books first started with wooden board books with no words and we quickly moved onto an array of ABC Kids board books {think Peppa Pig, In the Night Garden and Ben & Holly}. She's taught herself most of the stories off by heart, through memorising from me reading and analysing the pictures, so now we're adding some more challenging books to our collection.

I recently shared some reading tips for toddlers from Ryan Spencer on the blog and in that post he made book recommendations for children 5 and under which included Possum Magic, Wombat Stew, Hairy Maclary, The Gruffalo and Piranhas Don't Eat Bananas. Most of you will probably be familiar with at least one of those titles already, but if you're not here's a run down of all the books. If you want to do more book based activities with your children check out this free online book club for kids.

POSSUM MAGIC

Possum magic was the first book written by famous Australian author Mem Fox. Possum Magic is the story of two possums that live in the outback, Grandma Poss and Hush. Grandma Poss turns Hush invisible to protect her from the dangers in the Australian bush. After a while Hush doesn't want to be invisible any more, but Grandma Poss has forgotten how to undo her spell. The book follows their journey across Australia trying to work out how to make Hush visible again.

I love that the book celebrates Australian animals, cities and food. It's a great way to introduce young children to iconic aspects of the Australian lifestyle. Bub loves watching Hush go invisible and all the things she gets up to while nobody can see her.

WOMBAT STEW

Wombat Stew was first published in 1984 {so its as old as me} and I distinctly remember the teacher reading it to us during reading time at school. It's an unusual title and storyline for a book so I guess it has a way of sticking in ones memory.

Wombat Stew is the story of a clever dingo who caught a wombat and decided to make gooey, brewy, yummy, chewy wombat stew. However, wombat's friends band together to help him by adding all sorts of weird ingredients into Dingo's wombat stew.

Just like Possum Magic, Wombat Stew is a colourful celebration of Australian outback animals and the bush tucker they all eat. It's a great way to teach young children about Australian wildlife and also a wonderful story of friendship and comradery.

HAIRY MCCLARY FROM DONALDSON'S DAIRY

Hairy Maclary is the story of a scruffy little dog who goes on a walk one day with his friends. On their walk they get a nasty surprise when they're met with a menacing feline, Scarface Claw. The book uses clever alliteration, rhymes and repetition to tell the story, all of which make it appeal to young children. The repetition also makes it easier for children to remember when they're first starting to read. Bub isn't reading properly yet, but I have no doubt she'll pick up this book quite easily once she is starting to read.

THE GRUFFALO

I hadn't heard about The Gruffalo until after bub was born and I was actually introduced to the story via the cartoon movie on abc kids. It was only after watching the movie a few times that I discovered it was based on a book.

The Gruffalo is the story of a little mouse who takes a stroll through a deep dark wood. Along the way he is met with an owl, a fox, a snake and finally a scary gruffalo. The quick thinking mouse comes up with amazing tales to escape all the creatures and make it through the woods safely.

At first I thought this book might be too scary for bub, but she actually loves it, which could be because I get quite animated when describing the gruffalo {or it could just be because she knows the story from tv, but let's assume it's because of my reading prowess}. I love that this story teaches children that no matter how small {and seemingly powerless} you are you can still overcome obstacles, challenges and dangers. The sequel, The Gruffalo's Child is equally as enchanting as the original.

If your kids are taking part in a book week parade at daycare or kindy, there's an easy DIY Gruffalo costume idea in my book week ideas post.

PIRANHAS DON'T EAT BANANAS

This is the story of Brian, the piranha who loves bananas. Brian tries to convince his friends that they should eat them too, but they much prefer eating things like bums. Piranhas Don't Eat Bananas follows Brian's journey to convince his friends to at least try fruit to see if they like it after-all.

Aaron Blabey expertly uses humorous rhymes to draw kids {and adults alike} into this witty tale. His expressive cartoon like illustrations also make it easy for emergent readers to tell the story themselves from the pictures alone. Cue fits of hilarious laughter once they find out piranhas eat bums.

Without a doubt this is bub's favourite book at the moment. She loves telling me all about what's happening and how the fishy tries to get his friends to eat fruit and vegetables, but they don't like them, they think fruit and veggies are yucky. But they say yes to bum bums mummy, they like eat bum bums. She cracks me up. Of course I had to record it so you could all hear for yourselves.

I love that all of these books use animals {and to varying extents humour} to gently introduce children to more serious topics. A lot of the books touch on topics like fear and danger, but broach them without being overly scary. They also embrace concepts like friendships and working together. Each of the stories lends themselves well to being read aloud by a parent/teacher and have very descriptive images so children can easily follow along the story when "reading" themselves even if they don't know all the words yet. I'd definitely recommend adding them to your book collection.

What are your kids favourite books? 

Do you have any other suggestions we should add to our collection?

Disclosure - This post contains some affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you, should you make a purchase.

8 Ways to Help Toddlers Enjoy Reading

Did you know that as a parent you have the power to boost your child’s learning and set them up for success in life, simply by reading to them every day?

Evidence shows that reading for pleasure from an early age increases brain power, boosts self-esteem and strengthens language and communication skills. So even if your little one is still a toddler, now is a good time to start building their reading habits.

Love to Dream Swaddle UP Original Review

When I was pregnant one of the first things I was told by midwives, friends, family, drs {and even well meaning strangers}, was that I had to swaddle my baby because it would help them sleep. And boy were they right about that. Swaddling definitely made her sleep for longer. The thing they all forgot to tell me is that swaddling is some what of a complicated art form. You need to practice, practice, practice to get it right... and then hope you don't have a houdini baby like I did. Seriously pretty much every single time I swaddled her she'd get out of it within minutes {unless by some miracle she was already asleep when I swaddled her up}. She'd start by poking out a few little fingers, then an arm, then another arm and then it was party time... sleep, what's sleep?

I remember constantly thinking surely there must be an easier way to do this? 

Of course there was {and still is}, I just hadn't heard of it yet. A few weeks later my friend had her baby and when she started sharing photos of him sleeping {as all new mums do}, I noticed he was in this fancy swaddle pouch looking contraption. My first thought was what in the heck is that, soon followed by where can I get one of those for my baby?

After a quick chat with my friend I discovered the awesome swaddling contraption was a Love to Dream Swaddle UP and she got it from a baby shop a few suburbs away. So from that point on I was determined to go get one. However, I was still recovering from my emergency c-section at the time and couldn't drive yet, so I had to wait until I could co-ordinate a lift with my mum. As luck would have it, the day we went to the baby shop they didn't have a Swaddle UP in the right size {I swear this stuff always happens to me}. Instead they convinced me to buy a larger muslin wrap to try and keep her better contained {which I bought because I didn't want our half hour trip to be pointless}, then I went home still annoyed I couldn't buy the Swaddle UP.

What I didn't realise at the time was that I could've bought it online directly from Love to Dream or Catch. Why didn't anyone tell me this? Probably because like me, they didn't know. It turns out it was right at my fingertips all along.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE LOVE TO DREAM SWADDLE UP?

The Swaddle UP is an ingenious zip up swaddle that allows babies to sleep in an arms up position giving them the same snug feel of being swaddled, but with their arms up they can still self soothe. Without doubt the best feature as far as I'm concerned is that it requires no wrapping at all! Simply put baby in, zip it up and you have a perfect swaddle, every single time. Helle-freaking-lujah.

If that wasn't genius enough, it also has a twin-zipper so nappy changes are quick and easy, no need to take baby completely out. The Swaddle UP design is hip-healthy, allowing the recommended flexion for hips and legs. Using the Swaddle UP also eliminates excess loose fabric in the cot {which is a huge plus for me being an anxious parent} and the covered arm wings prevent baby from scratching their face {no need for mittens, which we all know just fall off anyway}.

But did I mention the best part is how easy it is to use....

By the time I found out all this info though bub was already starting to roll on her side so we went straight to using the Swaddle UP 50/50 which was a lifesaver and a great way to transition her to sleeping bags later. I'm still devastated that I didn't get to use the Swaddle UP Original in the beginning though, because I could of avoided so much stress and frustration trying to contain my little escape artist. I'm definitely getting one for our next baby. {UPDATE: We did indeed get one for our next baby and it was so much easier than wrapping her all the time}.

My friend was lucky enough to use one pretty much from the birth of her son though, so I asked her for some feedback.

What made you decide to use a Swaddle UP?

I was completely useless at swaddling and had seen these previously in a baby store. 3 days after leaving the hospital we picked up a few.

Do you think it helped him sleep better?

He slept really well in them and he slept for longer as he wasn't waking himself up when he wiggled out of the cloth swaddles. We also found we slept better, as we weren't freaking out the cloth swaddles would come loose and smother his face.

What did you find was the best benefit of the Swaddle UP?

It helped Liam sleep longer {and was less stressful for us}.

WHERE CAN YOU PURCHASE THE LOVE TO DREAM SWADDLE UP

The Love to Dream Swaddle UP Original is suitable for babies from 0-4 months {or until they start showing signs of rolling} and retails for $39.95. They can be purchased online from Catch, David Jones, Myer, Baby Bunting and other leading baby boutiques. You can also purchase online from Love to Dream.

Disclosure - I was gifted a Love to Dream Swaddle UP™ in exchange for this post and giveaway, I did not receive payment. As per my disclosure policy I only accept reviews for items we would genuinely purchase and use. The Swaddle UP™ gifted to me is being passed on to a friend from my mothers group who has just had a premature baby. This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience, which means I may earn a small commission at no cost to you, should you make a purchase.

The Best 2021 Educational Toddler Toys From Kmart

If you follow my facebook page or know me in person then you'll be well aware that Kmart is one of my favourite stores. I'm pretty certain I could go there every single week and still find more awesome things to buy. I'm totally obsessed with their homewares and craft items and lately they've been bringing out some pretty awesome kids toys as well. Now that bub is a toddler I've been incorporating learning into her play as often as possible and Kmart seems to have hit the nail on the head with a great range of educational toys for toddlers. I'm all for handmade and high quality toys, but sometimes the cheaper ones have their place too {and lets face it sometimes cheaper is better for the budget too}. So here's my favourite toddler toys from the current range and how we use them for learning.

*While this post was originally published in 2016, I aim to update it regularly as Kmart expand and change their toy range, however as Kmart are constantly updating their product selection I cannot guarantee all products in this post will be readily available*

MY FAVOURITE EDUCATIONAL TODDLER TOYS FROM KMART {2021 EDITION}

KMART CHUNKY ALPHABET PUZZLE

The chunky alphabet puzzle is hands down my favourite educational kids item I've bought from Kmart probably ever. We're obviously using it for bub to learn the alphabet, but there are many more ways to use it than just as a puzzle. We made a game putting all the letters in an empty wipes container where bub pulled out a letter, then said what it was and found the right spot on the puzzle. We use it to match up with letters in her abc book. We also use the letters in sensory tubs and we use this alfoil puzzle hack to make it even more interesting learn phonics. There are so many possibilities beyond using it as an actual puzzle. 

KMART WOODEN BLOCKS

You really can't go past a good basic set of wooden blocks. There are so many open ended play opportunities. We often build towers, houses, rockets, trees, bridges and castles with our blocks. I also originally taught my daughter colours while we were playing with wooden blocks and we started introducing basic shapes this way too. They're also great for stacking, sorting and counting.

KMART MAGNETIC TILE BLOCK SET

Magnetic tiles are an amazing open ended toy for children of all ages. They can be used for building and imaginary play as well as teaching shapes, colours, literacy and numeracy skills. Check out this post for over 50 different ways to play with magnetic tiles. The Kmart magnetic tiles are a great cost effective introductory set to try out before potentially upgrading to other brands like Connetix or Magblox. 

3 IN 1 BLACKBOARD AND MAGNETIC WHITEBOARD

I bought this 3 in 1 blackboard for my niece at Christmas and have it on my list to buy for bub for her birthday. This product is great because one side is a magnetised whiteboard and the opposite side is a blackboard so there are many different ways for kids to be creative. It also includes chalk, pens and a set of alphabet magnets. The board can be used to learn the alphabet and practice letter recognition, to learn spelling and also for free drawing. I also love that its portable so it can be taken to appointments, restaurants and play dates.

COUNTING MONEY BOX

This counting money box from Kmart has also been one of my favourite purchases as we hacked it into a simple fine motor colour sorting activity. The money box is a great tool for fine motor play and learning money value as is, however when we first got it my girls were too young to understand the value of money so we changed it into a simple colour sorting activity instead. To hack it we simply removed the backing board, turned it around and then stuck coloured dot stickers above each column. The girls have used it with plugging flowers, paddle pop sticks and metal rimmed counters. It's also easy to switch the backing board around and turn it back into a money box which we'll be doing now that my big girl is learning the value of money. My friend Holly from Simplify Create Inspire also hacked the kmart money box into a barefoot investor spend, save, give money box for kids.

KMART TRAIN TABLE

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A post shared by Casey - Play Advocate 🌈 (@littlelifelonglearners) on Jan 10, 2020 at 1:41am PST

The Kmart train table is great as a train table {and also comes with a 70pc train set including tracks, bridges and trains}, however I think the real genius of the train table is that it can be converted into an inexpensive small world table. The simplest way to do this is to buy some artificial grass and get it cut to the size of the train table. From there you can add animal figurines, artificial plants, rocks etc to set up simple or elaborate small worlds. My friend Casey from Little Lifelong Learners has loads of ideas using their train table as a small world table and discovery table over the last few years, swipe across the image above to see just a few of her ideas and read this post to see exactly how to convert the kmart train table into a small world table.

KMART PLAY TRAY

The Kmart drinks tray, or as they're more popularly known the kmart play tray is my most favourite investment for play, so much so that we have three different colours. We've used ours hundreds of times over the years for various small world and sensory play set ups. The deep sides and metal base make it perfect for sensory play using either dry or wet materials.

PLAY ACTIVITIES USING KMART PRODUCTS

• Alfoil puzzle hack
• Baby doll shape matching activity
• Dinosaur egg small world
• DIY alka seltzer lava lamp
• Tape resist animal rescue
• Frog life cycle small world

For more Kmart play ideas join my Facebook Group Kmart & Ikea Play Hacks & Ideas where we share all sorts of ways to use Kmart and Ikea items for play. 

Disclosure - this post is not sponsored by Kmart in any way, I just spend most of my money there so thought I would share the things I've been buying lately. Please note Kmart are constantly updating their product selection and whilst I aim to update this post regularly, I cannot guarantee all products will be available. This post contains some affiliate links to non Kmart products for your convenience which means I may earn a small commission, at no cost to you, should you make a purchase.

April Fools Pregnancy Announcements are No Joke

Every year there's usually a few people who post gushing pregnancy announcements on April 1st, only to denounce it as a joke later that evening. It used to be a huge trend, but thankfully over the years its dwindled down to just a few here and there. Hopefully its because this "joke" is no longer trendy, but it could also be because I'm no longer friends with people who've done it in the past. I'm sorry but if you create a fake pregnancy announcement for an Aprils fools joke I certainly won't find it funny and I'll probably have a hard time being your friend after. Harsh? Probably, but also understandable given our current circumstances.

For so many of us pregnancy is no joke. In fact its the one thing we want most and we think about it almost every moment of every day. We spend weeks and months {and sometimes years} working through emotional turmoil just trying to achieve the thing that others choose to joke about. Not to mention the thousands of dollars, countless tests and procedures. For many people this is their reality, whether you know about it or not.

I've been relatively candid about our struggle to conceive this time around, but the first time I struggled in silence, for a long time. Lots of people struggle in silence because its too hurtful for them to talk about their experiences. Chances are you know some of these people without even realising it. Please don't add more salt into their wounds by playing a cruel joke. 

In the past I've forgotten that its April fools and fell for these fake announcements. I've been shocked, happy and elated for friends I had no idea were even trying for a baby. I've congratulated them and shared their excitement, only to have that feeling extinguished and replaced with more shock, betrayal and then anger once the joke was revealed. It may have been funny to them, but it wasn't funny to me.

I know the hurt that infertility brings. I know what it feels like to struggle for years to try and reach a goal that comes so easily to others. I know what it feels like when achieving a pregnancy is the most important thing in your life. I also know how soul crushing it can be when others treat this with such insignificance. All I ask is that if you've never experienced this please don't turn pregnancy into a joke

Pregnancy announcements on April fools are no joke, they're cruel. 

Please consider other people's feelings..

Toni  x

What it feels like to be infertile

I've written a lot about being infertile over the years, both when I was experiencing infertility for the first time, and now that we're going through it for a second time. For the first three years I battled infertility with my ex-husband I primarily kept quiet about it, except to a handful of friends who I knew were also going through it. Infertility was, and sometimes still is, seen as an extremely taboo subject to talk about openly with people. It's almost impossible for people to understand unless they've experienced it themselves, which I think leads lots of people to feel uncomfortable talking about it. Unfortunately that's never going to change unless more people talk about it.

Going through infertility is extremely isolating and emotionally arduous. Trying to deal with that behind closed doors while keeping a smile on your face in public is exhausting. Having to act like you're fine when you really want to break down in a corner and cry is challenging, but I did it for years. When T and I started fertility treatment back in 2012 I decided that I wasn't going to keep it hidden anymore. I didn't shout it from the rooftops, but I did start opening up about it here on the blog, and eventually in conversations with friends.

I think its important that we talk about our experiences with infertility. Yes people won't like it and people won't know how to react, but over time {probably a long period of time} people will become more educated and more accepting. Above all that, its important for those of us experiencing infertility to feel like we have a right to express our feelings. So with that in mind I thought I'd try to explain what it feels like to be infertile {for me at least}.

It took me almost 4 years to conceive my daughter {I tried to conceive for 3yrs with my ex-husband and almost a year with T} and we've been trying to conceive again for just under a year now. Unfortunately it's not working again so I have sat with these emotions and feelings again on an almost daily basis for months now. Sometimes I hide them under a smile and other times I let it all out and break down {but only when I'm by myself}. This is what it feels like to be infertile.

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE INFERTILE

I feel like a failure. I'm broken on the inside, but nobody can see it.

I hate my body. My body doesn't do what its supposed to be able to do, I feel like I'm not a real woman, even though I am. I want to love my body, but some days I just can't.

My body is no longer my own. It now also belongs to a team of doctors who are trying to reach the same end goal as me. Unfortunately being a female that means numerous people have had their hands, ultrasound wands and other medical instruments inside my who-ha. There's no time to be embarrassed, I had to get over that years ago.

Trying for a baby is not fun. Everyone thinks we just get to have sex a lot and on the surface I agree that does sound like fun, but its not. There are no spontaneous, romantic liaisons going on around here. There is systematic, meticulously timed and often medically aided baby making. Making a baby is no longer a case of do it and cross your fingers, it becomes a very scientific process. After a while its not fun.

It's like being stuck in a tunnel. I have tunnel vision and it's hard to see anything except the goal at the end of the tunnel. Yet it seems so far away. Infertility sometimes impedes my ability to see the good going on around me. Some days all I can see, feel and think about is what I don't have, but desperately want. It can be emotionally debilitating, but I am dealing with it a lot better the second time around.

Infertility causes jealousy and resentment. Yes it's true, when I see a pregnancy announcement I usually get upset {for a little while}. I'm not angry or annoyed at the person who is pregnant, it just reminds me that others are moving on and achieving the dream that I haven't yet, and that hurts my heart a little. I'm happy for them, but sad for me, but in time that feeling passes and I can celebrate and get excited with them.

I'm obsessed with babies. Despite the initial hurt a pregnancy announcement can cause, babies set my ovaries on fire and light up my world. I adore babies and could cuddle your baby all day long. In fact I would babysit your baby whenever you wanted me to. Seriously.

In the end infertility ruined my pregnancy. When I finally got pregnant the first time I was too scared to get excited and feel happy. I kept thinking something was going to go wrong and I would lose the baby. Infertility, and knowing all the things that could go wrong, robbed me of the joy of pregnancy. However, if we get pregnant again, I'm determined to try and enjoy and celebrate that pregnancy a lot more.

I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

It can be an extremely emotional rollercoaster, and occasionally we may lash out, withdraw or breakdown. Unfortunately that is par for the course with the journey we're on. If someone you know shares with you that they're experiencing infertility problems please don't dismiss it or tell them to relax, it's taken a lot of courage for them to let down their walls and let you in. Please just continue to love them and support them and appreciate the fact that they value your friendship enough to let you into their private world.

Toni x