How do you make a baby?

This is a sponsored post for Queensland Fertility Group

Easy question, right?  (Well unless you're trying to explain it to a small child)

Everyone knows you just need to get jiggy with it and boom you'll get pregnant. Easy. 

At least that's what those sex ed teachers told us in highschool. Well technically they were trying to scare us into making sure we didn't get pregnant. "If you have unprotected sex even once you will get pregnant!" Although not many of us paid attention during those classes, I totally believed them that I'd get pregnant the moment I had unprotected sex. All the teenage pregnancy warnings thoroughly scared the crap out of me. Which was probably a good thing because I definitely didn't want a baby back then.

A few years later when I was 23, I was ready to have a baby, and I naturally thought it would be as easy as stopping the pill and I'd get pregnant. I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to fall pregnant straight away, but I didn't think it'd be that hard either. Wrong. After 12 months of trying with no luck I started thinking those sex ed teachers had seriously lied to me. I mean hello - I was purposefully having unprotected sex and not getting pregnant and they told me even if I did it accidentally I'd get pregnant. Way to give a girl false expectations. After 12 months of nothing happening we got referred to the fertility clinic at our local hospital.

I never knew trying for a baby was such a complex process. I guess it doesn't feel that way for those who are lucky enough to fall pregnant without knowing all the science behind it all. When you go through a fertility specialist you soon learn just how many factors can actually affect your fertility.

The most important factor affecting a woman's ability to conceive is her age. Once women are over 36 they have half as much chance of conceiving as they would have when they were 20. Age is probably the only fertility factor I was remotely aware of before trying to conceive. Of course at 23, I didn't think my age would be a factor. What I wasn't aware of was just how much cycles, ovulation, egg quality, timing, health and general lifestyle factors also play a part in conception. There's also a number of reproductive conditions that can affect fertility and you might not even know you suffer from them, I didn't.

The infertility rollercoaster was a very unpredictable and daunting process for us at the time. There were lots of emotional highs and lows. To cut a long story short, my ex-husband and I actively tried to conceive for almost 3 years. We exhausted all of the free fertility testing options at the local hospital over the course of a year and still never once got pregnant. Our next step was to be referred onto Queensland Fertility Group (QFG) to look into other options, but our relationship broke down before we went ahead with an appointment. Looking back now I'm actually glad I never conceived with him given how toxic our relationship was. Perhaps destiny somehow had a hand in that, because I then went on to meet T and our journey has had a much better result.

T and I decided to try for a baby, knowing full well that I'd probably have trouble conceiving. Still we decided to go au natural again just to see what would happen. I had this misconstrued theory that maybe I'd magically get pregnant because I was now trying with another man (even though it was me who had the fertility issues). Surprise, surprise that didn't work. After six months of trying and nothing happening we went straight to QFG to check on everything and start fertility treatment. I didn't want to dilly dally around this time. I knew time was ticking away and I didn't want to get past 30 and think gee I really wish I had've done that sooner. 

Before I began fertility treatment I was quite apprehensive. The emotional lows of not conceiving made me start thinking it would never work. I was still optimistic, but I let my negative thoughts take over at times. I was petrified of my first visit to QFG, mainly because of the unknown. Our dr made us feel so comfortable and reassured of the process that any apprehension I had before was quickly gone. I came away from that appointment with a whole new attitude - I had a renewed sense of determination and a very positive outlook.

After initial testing I was quickly diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The short explanation of PCOS is that it means I don't ovulate each month, instead my eggs turn into cysts. At the time I was diagnosed I think I had 13 cysts on one ovary and 9 on the other. Being diagnosed with PCOS was actually a good thing because I finally had an answer as to why I hadn't been conceiving. Knowing what the issue was meant we had a plan of action to tackle it. In our case that meant ovulation induction, which lead to this...

For some of us the journey to conception can be hard, but there is always hope. I'm so grateful that I experienced fertility issues in a time when there are so many medical options available to help. If you're planning on conceiving soon or have been having trouble falling pregnant QFG now offer a free fertility insights program to help you get started on the path to conception. Words cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for Dr Ben Kroon and QFG. They have given us the greatest gift ever and I simply cannot thank them enough. We're currently discussing when to try for another baby and although we haven't come to a decision yet, we have definitely agreed we will be going back to see the team at QFG when we're ready.

Toni x


* I understand its an unwritten law for sex ed teachers to scare teenagers out of having sex by any means necessary. I hereby forgive my teachers for inexplicably creating my false expectations regarding pregnancy.

Disclosure - this is a sponsored post for Queensland Fertility Group in conjunction with Digital Parents Collective as per my disclosure policy. 

10 ways you can tell your baby is now a toddler

Clearly there are some pretty obvious ways to tell your baby is a toddler, like the fact that they've turned one and the definition of a toddler is a child aged 1-3. There's also the obvious developmental steps like moving from crawling to walking, saying more words and needing more stimulating toys and activities to help sharpen their fine and gross motor skills. This list isn't about those things. This is all the other ways you can tell your baby has completed the metamorphoses into toddlerhood. The things people don't really talk about, but all mums of toddlers will relate to, or if you're still in the baby stage - the things you have to look forward to.

10 WAYS TO TELL YOUR BABY IS NOW A TODDLER

Your house is permanently messy

I went through a phase of picking up all the toys throughout the day to try and keep things tidy. It only lasted a few days before I realised it was futile. It's doable when your baby is immobile and they can't move toys around, but once they're toddlers they have this innate desire to come along behind you and destroy everything you've just tidied up. If your house looks like a toy shop has vomited all over the floor then its safe to say you have a toddler. My advice, learn to embrace the mess.

You can't go to the toilet by yourself

Gone are the days of being able to sneak off to the toilet. From now on you'll have a little toilet buddy whether you like it or not. Mine likes to bring me stuff like balls to throw and books to read. If she's in a particularly destructive mood she'll try to pull all the toilet paper off the roll or take one of the spare toilet rolls off for a walk somewhere and hide it. Yep toilet trips will never be a peaceful event again (even if you lock them out because then they just bang on the door saying "mum, mum, mum, mum" on repeat until you're finished).

They want to do everything themselves
You will most definitely have a little miss or mister independent on your hands once they graduate from baby to toddler. Even if they don't quite have all the skills yet, they'll still want to do everything themselves. They are now big girls and boys after all and they'll want to prove this to you as often as possible. Cue the rebellious independent streak.

They want to eat your food
Regardless of whether they wanted to eat theirs. Yours is always more interesting because they know they're not meant to have it. Even if you're both eating the same food, what's on your plate will still be more appealing. Every. Single. Time. End of story.

Everything is theirs
Younger babies are generally happy to share toys and play well with others, but once they're toddlers the what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine phase hits. Suddenly everything is mine, whether it is or not. Similarly everything someone else has is suddenly more attractive - toys, books and food are the usual suspects. FYI they don't need to be able to say the word mine to express this either, she gets her point across quite well with hair pulling, smacking and pushing. Trying to stop this behaviour usually leads onto my next point.

They throw tantrums
Its amazing how quickly kids master the art of throwing a tantrum. Babies generally only cry when they need something, but toddlers, they like to throw tantrums for a million different reasons. The tiniest thing can set off a toddler. Our latest one here is my glasses aren't on my head anymore, after she's just pulled them off. We also have my dinner is gone (after she's eaten it all), my toy fell on the floor (after she threw it there) and how dare you stop me from playing in the cats food on a daily basis. Then there's the normal screaming in the car tantrums and tired but unwilling to sleep tantrums.

Most tasks become a battle

Meal times, getting dressed, getting in the car, getting in the pram, going to bed (I could go on) usually turn into world war 3. Be prepared for a battle. Approach these situations with an arsenal of weapons up your sleeve. My weapons of mass distraction include toys, the tv and singing random songs.

Change time becomes a game of chasey

Nappy changes are a combination of a battle, a tantrum and a game; but mostly a game. It's a game of how many times do I have to roll over before I can get away from mum. Then, how quickly can I run away from mum while laughing hysterically. Then, how far can I run away from mum while I have no pants on (which is usually accompanied by the theme song "come back here so I can put your nappy on, you can't run around nakey"). The second chorus is "you need to put pants on before you do a wee on the mat". Yes, she has done a wee on the mat. Don't laugh, I'm sure your toddler will too at some point.

They bite {hard}
Depending when your baby starts teething this may start before they're technically a toddler, but they become much better at it when they're toddlers. I used to get occasionally bitten on my finger if it strayed too close to her mouth {or if I was dumb enough to let her put it in her mouth}. Nowadays though she deliberately bites me on my toes, knees and shoulders, daily. Apparently the bonier parts are better for biting because it gives them something to get a really good latch onto. It's pretty much like being attacked by a piranha, but one that you {for reasons that may momentarily escape you} love.

They have no fear
This is possibly the scariest trait a toddler has, at least for us parents. No matter how many times they hurt themselves you can be sure they'll still do the same thing again without a second thought. Its terrifying seeing your toddler about to launch themselves face first off the bed or the couch with reckless abandon. Of course I stop her before she goes over the edge, but then she tries to go straight back to the edge as fast as she can. If I survive the toddler stage without having a heart attack it might just be a miracle.


Do you have anything else to add to the list?

Toni x