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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Turn negatives into positives

When you have a bad experience its easy to see only the negative side, however with time you often look back and see the benefits you gained.

It would be easy for me to look back on the last few years of my life (well the majority of my life to be honest) and think about all the bad things that have happened and focus only on the negative side. Why did this have to happen? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

However, as horrible as things may be or seem at the time when they're happening, usually as time passes and with the help of hindsight we can look back and see the brighter side. The experience itself may still be a horrible thing, but look at the way it has changed your life for the better. Everything we experience during life moulds us into the person we are today.

I'm still annoyed at all the things I experienced during my marriage (mainly because I let myself get into that situation in the first place), but at the same time I am oddly grateful for the experience. It allowed me to grow and become a much stronger person. I will never let anyone treat me like that again. I know exactly what I want in a relationship and exactly what I don't want. I stand up for myself more, whereas before I was extremely submissive. I now express my opinion instead of keeping quiet. I have a voice.

I'm also grateful for the experience because without it (and more importantly without the end of it) I would not be where I am today. Life had much better plans for me. Now I'm in a wonderful relationship and it's everything that I could ever want because I grew into a much stronger and confident person, and I wont accept anything less.

We all have a choice to either let the bad things in life affect us negatively, or turn them into positives. It may take a long time to see the positive side, but eventually you'll get there. You don't have to be a prisoner of your past, instead when you're ready, you can turn it into an opportunity to grow.

Toni x
Sunday, March 25, 2012

Be proud of yourself...

I have to admit, I very rarely acknowledge out loud when Im proud of myself. This time however, I am making an exception. This month has been the toughest month of my life (hence no blog posts) and now that it's coming to an end I can finally completely close off that chapter in my life and fully move on.

The last month has been the culmination of everything from the last year and a half. My divorce has gone through so I can finally close the door on "being married" even though in my head I havent been married for ages. I feel like I am no longer his property in any way, shape or form anymore and its so liberating.

I have also finally gone through my property settlement which has brought the most closure! I had to go to court for the first time in my life and it was a very daunting experience. I am not one who likes to be the centre of attention and I hate public speaking so to have to stand up in front of so many people and be the only one talking was like my biggest fear. I literally had nightmares of everything that could go wrong for about two weeks beforehand. However, when the time came I knew there was nobody else who could do it for me so I had to get over my fear and pull myself together and get through it. I had spent hours and hours researching and putting together paperwork in order to bring this about and the outcome was so worth it. In the end I got through it and it wasnt as scary as I thought it would be. It was stressful, but none of my nightmares came true which was a plus. In fact I ended up getting the best possible outcome which was more than I ever thought was possible. I had spent so much time worrying about what could go wrong that I never imagined it might actually go right!

And so after all these months of stress and sleepless nights I have finally come to the end of the road... FINALLY!

It is all over... Im free emotionally and physically.

I am so proud of myself for fighting so hard to get what I wanted despite everything going against me. I believed in myself and a select few other people did too and Im so proud of myself for getting through it and not giving up!

No matter what your going through in your life if theres something you are fighting for and you know you deserve it dont ever give up! If I can do it then so can you.

Toni xx