tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post4159948130554352521..comments2024-03-24T22:17:41.115+10:00Comments on Finding Myself Young: Kids or partner - who do you put first?Finding Myself Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-1091235553485177582016-02-07T21:10:24.992+10:002016-02-07T21:10:24.992+10:00Yes we're still very affectionate towards each...Yes we're still very affectionate towards each other in front of her because I'm mindful that we're setting an example for her. We just don't get time to go on "date nights" or be as indulgent as we once were, and we're totally fine with that for now.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-51070483652542677512016-02-07T21:08:50.438+10:002016-02-07T21:08:50.438+10:00We constantly put family time first as I think its...We constantly put family time first as I think its important for us to spend time together as a family {especially since I lost my dad so young}. For us family time and her needs come before our time together as a couple.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-6129109609188160382016-02-07T21:06:36.233+10:002016-02-07T21:06:36.233+10:00Oh yes I have no doubt it will all be worth it xOh yes I have no doubt it will all be worth it xFinding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-19684724561761876592016-02-07T21:06:11.156+10:002016-02-07T21:06:11.156+10:00Yea I think we really need to work on doing more a...Yea I think we really need to work on doing more as a couple as well, but we just don't seem to have much time together by ourselves {except for the hour between her going to sleep and us going to sleep usually}.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-20272860339666791552016-02-07T21:05:07.574+10:002016-02-07T21:05:07.574+10:00Hahahaha! My cats used to come before T too, but I...Hahahaha! My cats used to come before T too, but I'd probably put him before them now.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-36538658721481531372016-02-07T21:04:32.289+10:002016-02-07T21:04:32.289+10:00Haha yes so true! We love our kids despite their f...Haha yes so true! We love our kids despite their flaws because they are our blood. Partners the flaws are still totally obvious and grating.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-54649648001243113842016-02-07T21:03:22.273+10:002016-02-07T21:03:22.273+10:00I think as she gets older and certainly after she ...I think as she gets older and certainly after she moves out our relationship will shift again and our love for each other will become the priority again.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-4707781687306034502016-02-07T21:02:18.491+10:002016-02-07T21:02:18.491+10:00I think its different too, I just feel like I have...I think its different too, I just feel like I have a stronger more instinctual love for her :)Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-4905737024570212532016-02-04T10:01:38.334+10:002016-02-04T10:01:38.334+10:00What a beautiful post! Relationships change so muc...What a beautiful post! Relationships change so much when kids come along. I think it's important just to touch base with each other and make sure that everyone is still on the same page. I am always so mindful of the fact that my partner and I are also modelling what relationships look like to our kids.Robyna | the Mummy & the Minxhttp://www.themummyandtheminx.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-7890565768699565412016-01-24T21:36:29.198+10:002016-01-24T21:36:29.198+10:00I think it's a different love too. It's di...I think it's a different love too. It's difficult for me to say, because my marriage to the kids' father broke up. I always felt like I was caught in the middle, and although I always made time for us (and actually was desperate for it at times), I also had the maternal instinct to fight for the kids and put them first when they needed me to do that. It was a constant juggling act. I Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03596142995497292286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-74423815227147923812016-01-23T00:37:56.756+10:002016-01-23T00:37:56.756+10:00One of the most challenging role in our life is be...One of the most challenging role in our life is being a parent. It requires sacrifice, great effort, and very long patience. But once you see your child grow with love and beauty, everything is worth it.Hearthttp://www.thequirkybriars.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-13147276514610479002016-01-22T17:22:35.100+10:002016-01-22T17:22:35.100+10:00I love my girls, but its a different love to how I...I love my girls, but its a different love to how I love my husband. The girls come first, and in a way they demand to be in these early years. I think it's important to make time to talk and be attentive to your partner during these early years because he will be still around once the kids have left when they're older. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01195539977918003393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-86343957573471939042016-01-22T15:19:08.164+10:002016-01-22T15:19:08.164+10:00My hubby knows my kids are first and he is cool wi...My hubby knows my kids are first and he is cool with that. The fact I have 4 kids he now laughs and says he is 6th inline after the dog too. Oops. Natalie @ Be Kind 2 Youhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06117473539104105236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-47565305341278748372016-01-22T10:38:33.166+10:002016-01-22T10:38:33.166+10:00I love my kids more than my husband too. I guess m...I love my kids more than my husband too. I guess my love for them is easier too, because they are part of me and much less work to love than an adult who has many flaws!One Mother Henhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12928028285580684170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-20145013510116221652016-01-22T08:27:59.065+10:002016-01-22T08:27:59.065+10:00A very thoughtful post Toni. I think that in our r...A very thoughtful post Toni. I think that in our relationship the kids do come first, however without us they would not exist. Like many others have said above, the type of love we feel for each other and for the kids are essentially different. It's a very hard thing to quantify. Great discussion starter Toni!Kirstyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14645347058596682545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-63554031754926385182016-01-21T21:10:41.498+10:002016-01-21T21:10:41.498+10:00For me the love I feel for my son and husband is v...For me the love I feel for my son and husband is very different and so I couldn't even quantify it. I put my son first in many things because he needs the most support but in terms of love, it's just different.Eva Lewis (The Multitasking Woman)https://www.blogger.com/profile/05085619692868567469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-88488868605058626262016-01-21T17:30:54.551+10:002016-01-21T17:30:54.551+10:00I'm sure things will change around here if we ...I'm sure things will change around here if we have more kids too xFinding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-15450973536250188872016-01-21T17:25:43.612+10:002016-01-21T17:25:43.612+10:00I think a lot of it with us has to do with her age...I think a lot of it with us has to do with her age too and her dependency on us for everything. She comes first for me because she needs me to do most things for her whereas he's an adult he can do things for himself.<br /><br />Also I think our love for her is instinctual whereas we choose to love each other. No matter what she does I couldn't stop loving her.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-67717030221002194732016-01-21T17:22:48.775+10:002016-01-21T17:22:48.775+10:00Yep I think its an instinctual thing, I can't ...Yep I think its an instinctual thing, I can't help it because I feel so protective of her and responsible for her. Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-14520785107493455732016-01-21T17:20:31.973+10:002016-01-21T17:20:31.973+10:00I couldn't imagine life without both of them e...I couldn't imagine life without both of them either xFinding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-45290896312026175132016-01-21T17:19:20.928+10:002016-01-21T17:19:20.928+10:00We still feel the same way as when we first met to...We still feel the same way as when we first met too, although the time we have to spend alone working solely on our relationship is not the same as in the beginning. We certainly do fall in and out of like with each other all the time too. I think fundamentally our love for each other is the same, its just that our relationship as a family unit is a priority at the moment over our relationship asFinding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-3249640456501608602016-01-21T17:13:36.283+10:002016-01-21T17:13:36.283+10:00They're definitely both important. I think I f...They're definitely both important. I think I feel like our love for her is a bit more of a priority at the moment because she's so young and so dependant on us.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-4271471778870228902016-01-21T17:11:10.296+10:002016-01-21T17:11:10.296+10:00Yea I think that's what we mean when we say we...Yea I think that's what we mean when we say we love her more because when it comes down to a life threatening situation we would both save her first {and would expect each other to do that}.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-13354773338548048792016-01-21T17:09:59.064+10:002016-01-21T17:09:59.064+10:00Yes totally agree with you. I think the instinctua...Yes totally agree with you. I think the instinctual love + the fact that she needs me makes it feel stronger {to me}, but its certainly not a competition.Finding Myself Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214517047937382835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7143258261280296039.post-7133639367607327962016-01-21T16:09:55.402+10:002016-01-21T16:09:55.402+10:00In the first years when it was 3 under 3, I don...In the first years when it was 3 under 3, I don't think anyone came first in our house. Well perhaps the youngest being 10 weeks premmie. Even still hubby always comes first for me. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad mother or not. I suppose I'm lucky that our family dynamic for the most part just works and I don't really need to think about it. Mystery Casehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15204666798327984964noreply@blogger.com