My first Mother's Day

For so many years I thought this day would never come.

Well, I knew May 11th 2014 would come, but I never thought it would be my first Mother's Day.

I am so grateful that this year I am finally a mum on Mother's Day.

When I was younger I remember being jealous that my mum and dad got special days (and presents) on top of their birthday and Christmas. I never understood why they got an extra day to celebrate when us kids didn't. It didn't seem fair to me.

As an adult for a fair few years I resented Mother's Day. It was a reminder of my failure and inability to do the one simple (not so simple) thing a woman should be able to do - have a baby. I resented all the women who got to celebrate with their children. I wanted to be them. I resented working in retail and selling Mother's Day gifts. It was a daily reminder that there was a big party happening that I wasn't invited to.

This year it's amazing. I finally feel like I'm invited to the party. For me it's not about getting gifts, it's about feeling included. I feel like I belong to an elite club. I am finally allowed to join in the festivities, the celebration and the excitement.

But for me, Mother's Day is not about celebrating me, its about my daughter.

Without her I wouldn't be a mum. Without her I wouldn't be as deliriously happy as I am. Without her I wouldn't get to experience reciprocal, unconditional love everyday. I wouldn't go to bed content after snuggly cuddles. And I wouldn't get to hear that magical word "Mum" each day.