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Monday, February 17, 2014

This is love

Once upon a time (not so long ago) my love was reserved for one man. My soul mate, my best friend, my lover. True I do love my family and a select few friends, but its not the same as the love I have for him. There is only one person that gets let into the deepest depths of my heart and soul. Some days he annoys me more than anyone else ever could, but still I remain drawn to him. An uncontrollable pull to be with him no matter how much he gets under my skin. For each annoying habit he has there is an equally endearing quality. So, that special love was always reserved just for him.

Six months ago that all changed.

There was no big argument. No split. No breakdown between us, but rather an evolution. We became three and while my love for him did not diminish, there is now another special someone who pulls my heart strings just as much (if not more than he does). She not only tugs at my heart from the outside, but she has also heard it from the inside and took a piece of it with her when she was born.

She has my heart

The love between us is different. It's instinctual. It's overpowering. It's all encompassing. I would do absolutely anything for her. I would run into a burning house for her. I would do everything to protect her from danger. I am always alert when I'm with her, I feel my back tingle and hairs stand up if I feel like she's in danger. I would put my life on the line to save hers.

No matter what she does I will always love her. Sleepless nights, tantrums and vomiting included. In my eyes she can do no wrong. Well actually she can do wrong and I'm sure she will as she gets older, but it won't affect how much I love her.

Our love is shown through actions not words or material things. A lingering stare from across the room. A smile as she sees my face. An awesome snuggly cuddle. The way she strokes me as she's falling asleep. The cute giggles as we play peek-a-boo and sometimes for no reason at all (I must just be funny looking?).

This is love <3

I also love him differently. I now love him as the father of my child as well as all the other roles he plays in my life. It warms my heart to see them interacting. It is also bitter sweet as I don't remember having such intimate moments with my own dad before he passed away, but I am so grateful she gets to experience that with T.

Together they are my everything.

So now my love is split in two. 

My ability to love has grown along with my family. My heart is bigger and it beats louder.

Toni x

Would you like to comment?

  1. It truly is one of the miracles of life how our love just expands ... wait til you have child #2! xxx

  2. I absolutely love this post Toni, you have captured how you feel so well and I know that feeling all too well. I never knew love could be so powerful or feel like I do when I look at my son.

  3. Beautiful Toni. I especially love your last line - that you heart is bigger and it beats louder. The love of family is definitely like no other x

  4. What a gorgeous post. Thanks for sharing.

  5. A lovely post, I remember the love of number one child-I now have have 3 boys and it amazing how your love can grow.

  6. Lovely post.. Hope I get to experience this same love one day :))

  7. Heart definetely beats louder and bigger with kids. Best part is, it happens without even trying. Agghhh Love!!

  8. What a beautiful post. She really is gorgeous. I've never had a daughter but I feel the same way about my three boys.

  9. It's amazing the love that just grows and grows when we have a baby. I love watching my partner interact with Mr 4 and seeing the love they have for each other is just mind blowing.

  10. It's a beautiful bond isn't it! It just gets bigger with more too!

  11. Before I had kids one of my BFF's said she would run into a burning house to save her child and die but maybe not for her husband, at the time I was slightly perplexed. Three children later, I now know where she is coming from. Lovely words xx

  12. Beautiful post. there is no doubt that my ability to love has grown, and when I thought it couldn't grow any more, it has grown again with every child (I have three).

  13. Beautiful words. They resonate with me deeply. When my daughter was born 18 years ago my harden heart
    Cracked wide open, and I truly understood what unconditional love meant. Looking forward to meeting you at lunch in March :)