It's starting to feel like Christmas

When I was a child I eagerly awaited Christmas. From the moment the tree was up we were counting down the days to Santa arriving. We used to leave out milk and cookies and I would stay awake (but pretend to be asleep) for as long as I could on Christmas eve in the hope I would catch a glimpse of Santa. I vividly remember one year I was looking out the window on Christmas eve and I thought I saw Santa's sleigh. I could see red and green flashing lights moving across the sky and mum told me I better go to sleep quickly so Santa would come. I was super excited that night! Obviously what I saw was a plane, but my inner child still secretly likes to believe it was Santa. We had huge Santa sacks that would sit under the tree and Santa would fill them when he came. OMG the excitement when we got up Christmas day and they were bursting full of presents!

A few years later I was captivated by the Christmas lights that everyone would put up in December. There is just something magical about fairy lights. I don't quite know what it is, but I am always drawn to them. You can't help but feel happy when you see them, right? In the later years of primary school I convinced my mum that we should put up Christmas lights on our house too. Each year more and more neighbours would join in and our light displays got bigger and better. I got a bit obsessed with it, to the point of drawing out a picture of our house in November so I could plan the light display (and so mum knew exactly where they all had to go). Our Christmas paraphernalia grew and grew each year (as mum discovered boxing day sales) and we then used to set up our whole front lounge room with lights, decorations and our tree (so you could see it from the street). I would play Christmas cds with the window open so passers by could hear carols as they marvelled at our lights. I was always super excited to go walking around the estate and look at all the other houses that had lights up. One of the neighbours would dress up as Santa and give out lollies. It was pure heaven for a child like me who was addicted to the joy of Christmas.

The last few years I lost my love of Christmas. Working in retail for 13 years straight, being bombarded with Christmas carols, trees, decorations and Santa from September onwards kind of diminishes the specialness excitement of Christmas. Apparently you can have too much of a good thing. I found myself wishing for Christmas to be over so I didn't have to be tortured with carols relentlessly playing on repeat for eight hours each day. It numbs your brain, so much so that I couldn't sleep at night because my mind kept singing "silent night, silent night, all is calm, all is bright......" etc etc. Ironically a silent night is exactly what I was wishing for! I wouldn't put up my tree until the last week of December in some kind of defiant protest against the shops. Although, seeing the perfectly merchandised trees at work each day did make me increasignly ocd about where the tree decorations must go. Putting up the tree became a 1-2hr event because I had to carefully place each baubble in the correct spot or the whole thing would be ruined. The joy had slowly left Christmas. It lost its sparkle and shine, but still inside I desperately hoped that one day I would rekindle my love for it.

This is the year! This year there are so many reasons to look forward to Christmas. It's my first Christmas as a mum, so once again I get to experience the joy as a child, through my daughters eyes. I'm on maternity leave and haven't been bombarded with all things christmas since September. YAY! In fact I forgot it was nearly christmas until November. Ever since I realised it was coming I have been eagerly anticipating December. This year I was desperate to set up the Christmas tree, so much so that I wanted to set it up earlier in November (but I managed to hold off until December). I brought all new decorations for the tree and a new stocking for my beanie baby. I want everything to start fresh this year. Its time to create our own new traditions for our new family. I want to create the joy, anticipation and excitement of christmas for my daughter so she can experience the wonder and magic I did as a child. Shes only going to be 5 months old (exactly) this christmas day so she won't understand a lot of it, but we have started by getting her a special baubble and her own special stocking. I'm sure next year she will understand Christmas a lot more and we can add more traditions to our list.

Special bauble for her birth year :)

Her special Santa stocking

Do you have any special christmas time traditions?

Toni xx


Linking up with Tegan for The Lounge
And Kirsty for I Must Confess