In a few days it will be six months since my first blog
post. Time really does fly doesn’t it?
In some ways it still
feels like yesterday when I created the blog and yet it also feels like it was
years ago. I first started this blog to have a place to record my feelings and
my journey so that I could look back and see how far I had come. At the time I
felt like I would never escape my situation, but I could see that there would
be an ending and that in the future I would look back and it would seem so
insignificant. I’m glad I have done it now as that is exactly what I can do,
look back and see my struggles from a different perspective and really
appreciate the pain and effort I went through to get to where I am today.
So why not just write a journal you ask?
Well, there are a number of reasons. Firstly computers give
you the luxury of being able to delete a sentence and retype it without having
to put a massive scribble through your page or using whiteout. I’m usually
thinking about many things at once and sometimes all the ideas come out
simultaneously so it’s good to have the ability to go back and edit them into a
more cohesive group before I publish my posts. Secondly, I love that the
internet allows other people to read my thoughts. I don’t want to have them
locked away in a book that I might look at once or twice a year. We all know
the internet is not sacred so once you put something out there anyone can find
it and in this case I love that. I love that other people can learn from my
journey or at least relate to it. Thirdly, I love that the internet makes my
thoughts interactive. I appreciate that people take the time to read my posts
and join my facebook page and give their opinions about it.
Another reason why I started this blog was as a form of free
therapy. I find I work through problems much better if I write things down and
I tend to express my feelings better through words as well. I really think that
my blog has helped me to heal (along with all my friends helping me in the real
world). I also think a lot of people can relate to my story so I felt as though
sharing it could help other people as well or at least make them feel as though
they aren’t alone in their thoughts.
Looking back through my posts I can really see how much I’ve
grown. I definitely see the world with a more positive outlook, which is
something that I started doing before creating the blog, but this has
reinforced it a lot. I feel a lot more justified in my opinions. I know my blog
won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and l I have probably been a bit
too honest in some posts, but that is me and this is my journey. It’s ok to be
me.
Who knows what the next six months will bring? There are still so many more things I want to do and experience. I hope you will all be here
to experience the journey with me.
Toni xx
