6 months and counting

In a few days it will be six months since my first blog post. Time really does fly doesn’t it?

In some ways it still feels like yesterday when I created the blog and yet it also feels like it was years ago. I first started this blog to have a place to record my feelings and my journey so that I could look back and see how far I had come. At the time I felt like I would never escape my situation, but I could see that there would be an ending and that in the future I would look back and it would seem so insignificant. I’m glad I have done it now as that is exactly what I can do, look back and see my struggles from a different perspective and really appreciate the pain and effort I went through to get to where I am today.

So why not just write a journal you ask?

Well, there are a number of reasons. Firstly computers give you the luxury of being able to delete a sentence and retype it without having to put a massive scribble through your page or using whiteout. I’m usually thinking about many things at once and sometimes all the ideas come out simultaneously so it’s good to have the ability to go back and edit them into a more cohesive group before I publish my posts. Secondly, I love that the internet allows other people to read my thoughts. I don’t want to have them locked away in a book that I might look at once or twice a year. We all know the internet is not sacred so once you put something out there anyone can find it and in this case I love that. I love that other people can learn from my journey or at least relate to it. Thirdly, I love that the internet makes my thoughts interactive. I appreciate that people take the time to read my posts and join my facebook page and give their opinions about it.

Another reason why I started this blog was as a form of free therapy. I find I work through problems much better if I write things down and I tend to express my feelings better through words as well. I really think that my blog has helped me to heal (along with all my friends helping me in the real world). I also think a lot of people can relate to my story so I felt as though sharing it could help other people as well or at least make them feel as though they aren’t alone in their thoughts.

Looking back through my posts I can really see how much I’ve grown. I definitely see the world with a more positive outlook, which is something that I started doing before creating the blog, but this has reinforced it a lot. I feel a lot more justified in my opinions. I know my blog won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and l I have probably been a bit too honest in some posts, but that is me and this is my journey. It’s ok to be me.

Who knows what the next six months will bring? There are still so many more things I want to do and experience. I hope you will all be here to experience the journey with me.

Toni xx