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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Short term or long term happiness...

Sooo, I thought 2 months ago that all my dramas with my ex-husband (god I love being able to call him my EX-husband!) were finally over. However, here I am months on still trying to cut financial ties despite going to court and winning (supposedly). I have 2 options at the moment, I can keep trying to fight to get the money he owes me or I can give up and move on....

For the past few hours I have been on a high thinking I will take him back to court so that I officially win once and for all. By win I mean either he pays me the money he has already been ordered to pay me or he ends up with a warrant for his arrest possibly going to jail, either way I would be happy. This would give me great satisfaction and make me feel as though I have actually won something rather than having a piece of paper saying I’ve won that he’s ignoring so effectively it means nothing.
However, now that I have been thinking about it for a few hours and thoroughly researched what it will take I am back to thinking maybe I should cut my losses and get over it. I don’t particularly want to have to pay off his debt, but is it really going to be worth spending hours on paperwork, lodging documents, attending court cases etc over the next few months to maybe get the result I want?? Knowing him he will somehow get away with not doing anything again, like he has for the past few years.
I feel like I have a split personality at the moment, half of me wants to beat him to feel satisfied that all this fighting was worth the effort and then part of me wants to move on and be free of all this shit. I’m starting to think what I really should do is move on and stop fighting for something that I know in my heart I won’t win. It’s just so hard to give up when I know I’m right.
I think I should just put all my energy into focusing on what I have got now. My real future - my awesome boyfriend, renovating MY house and trying to have a baby again. Stuff that will actually make me happy long term. Who knows maybe there will be an engagement in there sometime...??? Hint Hint! Not that I am ready to get married again yet, but a ring would be nice right?

I’m thinking long term happiness is going to win over short term satisfaction. In the end I have already won just by being happy, right?


Would you like to comment?

  1. It makes me so angry he has left you in this position and left you to clean up the mess!! Your doing an awesome job and at some point it is ok to move on and it is ok not to give him any power or any part of your life xoxox