Friday, November 11, 2016

I haven't met you yet but I already love you.


For the last few months I've been quietly pondering in my head how I'd possibly love you as much as I love bub. I literally didn't know if it would be possible, but then again I didn't know how much I'd love her until after she was born. I've watched friends agonise over whether to have more children because they're unsure they'll be able to love a sibling as much as they loved their first child. I guess it's such a huge change the first time developing a love for someone who never existed before and you can't possibly know if it'll be the same the next time. Love for a child is a whole different kind of love and it's hard to imagine your heart expanding even bigger yet again to love two little people. For me though, it was never a question of whether to have more children, but I've still wondered if my heart was indeed capable of expanding yet again.

I haven't even met you yet, but I already love you so very much. In fact I literally only just discovered you exist an hour ago and I've been over the moon giddy with love {much like a teenager} ever since. There have been many happy tears, tears of disbelief, thanking of the universe and lots of smiling uncontrollably. I always believed this day would finally come and now its here and its even more special than I ever imagined.

Just like your sister there weren't really many signs that you were even in there. There have been a few twinges here and there, but that's been the same every month so I tried not to read anything into it. Of course now I know you're there I'm hypersensitive to every little ping, twinge or cramp and I'm trying so hard to not read anything into it. I don't want to be scared the whole time like I was last pregnancy. I'm going to think positively. You're not going anywhere you're going to keep baking away and when the timings right I'm going to hold you in my arms and smother you with kisses.

I can't wait to see if you're a little mister or little miss. To snuggle you and be addicted to your new baby smell. To tickle your toes, hold your little fingers and stroke your forehead. To make you laugh and smile and wipe away your tears when you're sad. To waste hours of my day staring at your beautiful face. I adore you already and I can't wait to meet you in person. My heart has already expanded and you already hold a piece of it.

Mum x



18 comments:

  1. An exciting time of waiting and wondering!

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  2. How exciting. I get to meet my new mister or miss in just three weeks. He or she is going to be smothered in love as my three girls wait in great anticipation!!!

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    1. Wow Michaela I didn't realise you were so close already, yay! I can't wait to find out what you're having. I thought for sure you would have caved and opened the envelope by now.

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  3. Such a beautiful post and isn't it great that love has no boundaries and expands for ever more.

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    1. It's so great how we can love even more kids. Just quietly I think I could have 6 or more if I could physically deal with it.

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  4. Beautiful words Toni... it really is quite amazing at how there is enough love in your heart for a younger sibling 😍

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    1. I'm so excited Lauren, I can't wait for baby number 2 to arrive :)

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  5. Congrats, Toni! I'm so happy for you. Love is limitless!

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  6. Such a gorgeous post Toni - I'm so excited for you and your little family xxx

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  7. So beautiful Toni, I hope all is going well x

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    1. Yep everything is going well Lauren apart from my pelvis trying to do its best to start separating again. Hopefully it holds off for a while though.

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  8. Congratulations to you! It is such an exciting time to be pregnant. You will be a great mom. Keep up the great work here and live unstoppable!

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  9. Aww so lovely, Toni. Such exciting times x

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    1. Thanks Renee, I'm so excited I get to do this again.

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