Thursday, March 31, 2016

April fools pregnancy announcements are no joke

Every year there's usually a few people who post gushing pregnancy announcements on April 1st, only to denounce it as a joke later that evening. It used to be a huge trend, but thankfully over the years its dwindled down to just a few here and there. Hopefully its because this "joke" is no longer trendy, but it could also be because I'm no longer friends with people who've done it in the past. I'm sorry but if you create a fake pregnancy announcement for an Aprils fools joke I certainly won't find it funny and I'll probably have a hard time being your friend after. Harsh? Probably, but also understandable given our current circumstances.

For so many of us pregnancy is no joke. In fact its the one thing we want most and we think about it almost every moment of every day. We spend weeks and months {and sometimes years} working through emotional turmoil just trying to achieve the thing that others choose to joke about. Not to mention the thousands of dollars, countless tests and procedures. For many people this is their reality, whether you know about it or not.

I've been relatively candid about our struggle to conceive this time around, but the first time I struggled in silence, for a long time. Lots of people struggle in silence because its too hurtful for them to talk about their experiences. Chances are you know some of these people without even realising it. Please don't add more salt into their wounds by playing a cruel joke. 

In the past I've forgotten that its April fools and fell for these fake announcements. I've been shocked, happy and elated for friends I had no idea were even trying for a baby. I've congratulated them and shared their excitement, only to have that feeling extinguished and replaced with more shock, betrayal and then anger once the joke was revealed. It may have been funny to them, but it wasn't funny to me.

This april fools before you post your pregnancy announcement joke remember all the women who long to be mothers, who have dealt with the loss or death of a baby. To them it is no joke.


I know the hurt that infertility brings. I know what it feels like to struggle for years to try and reach a goal that comes so easily to others. I know what it feels like when achieving a pregnancy is the most important thing in your life. I also know how soul crushing it can be when others treat this with such insignificance. All I ask is that if you've never experienced this please don't turn pregnancy into a joke

Pregnancy announcements on April fools are no joke, they're cruel. 

Please consider other people's feelings..

Toni x



8 comments:

  1. I know your pain, I couldn't believe it when people thought it was a hilarious prank to play. We suffered infertility too, and it highlighted to me who our real friends were.

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    1. It most certainly does. I honestly think some people don't have a filter between their brain and their mouths {or in this case keyboards}.

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  2. I can just imagine that it's just another kick in the guts. I have someone very close to me facing infertility, breaks my heart :(

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    1. Every pregnancy announcement is taken with a grain of salt to be honest because you can't help but get jealous {if not for a short period of time before you are happy for them} but then to have it revealed as a joke that's the worst. I don't see why people find it funny.

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  3. I can feel your words Toni. Somethings are not funny like pregnancy, announcing you are sick or fake separations

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    1. Yep, why the hell would people joke about any of these things? I just don't get it.

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  4. Thought provoking post, Toni. I had difficulty conceiving too. People who are flippant about pregnancy and baby announcements need to be educated.

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    1. I wish they felt that way instead of just denouncing us all as bitter people who need to learn how to take a joke.

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