Friday, November 20, 2015

Strong willed children are amazing

Strong willed children are hard work. They're constantly pleading, arguing and throwing huge tantrums in order to get their own way {at least the toddler variety do}. They flat out refuse to do what you say, develop selective hearing at the drop of a hat and everything {I mean everything} has to be on their terms. It can be downright exhausting and takes an enormous amount of patience. Trust me I know, I do it every day. If I'm honest there are some days where I wonder what I did to deserve such a stubborn child {perhaps my mother would say its payback, but I honestly don't think I was ever as zealous as my daughter}.

Of course I love her to pieces and wouldn't want it any other way, but there are days where I'm worn down to my breaking point and I just have no more to give. In those moments her independent streak can be overwhelming, but I have to remind myself there are also many benefits to having such a sassy, headstrong child, even though we're smack bang in the middle of the terrible 2's and the tantrums are sometimes outweighing the awww moments. Those who witness her at her worst might not be able to see all the qualities that make her amazing, but there are so many. Although they may be a bit harder to handle on occasions, strong willed children have a number of characteristics that will serve them well later in life.


STRONG WILLED CHILDREN ARE AMAZING BECAUSE:


They're determined - they will stop at nothing to get what they want. During a tantrum {especially in public} this can be frustrating to say the least, but when this determination is focused on tasks or learning new skills it can have impressive results. She will practice new skills over and over and over until she masters them. She's just as determined to succeed as she is to be right and she doesn't give up. The trick is to harness this determination and use it for good not evil.

They know their mind - there is no indecisiveness. Strong willed kids know exactly where they stand on any given topic. They will not be coerced, bribed or tricked into anything. They are the decision makers and they let everyone know. Although this means the words "nope" and "mine" get thrown around on a daily basis, I can't help but feel like I'm raising a leader of the future.

They don't take things on face value - they never stop questioning. Instead of just doing something because they're told to, strong willed kids need to understand why they're doing it. They won't just follow the crowd. They only do things because they see merit in them. I can already see the next few years are going to include the phrase but why mum on repeat thousands of times a day. As frustrating as that is, challenging the norm and constantly asking why isn't necessarily a bad thing, without this there would never be any change. These children are the innovators of tomorrow.

They stand up for themselves - they're definitely not wallflowers. If they have an opinion on something they won't be afraid to voice it. Instead of standing back when they think they're right, they'll argue their point until they're blue in the face. They certainly don't lack self confidence. I'm secretly proud of her self belief and the fact that she's willing to express her feelings.

They have plenty of personality - all that sass. Yes they are stubborn, sassy, defiant and often frustrating, but they're also cheeky, intuitive and highly entertaining. There's never a dull moment around here. Life would be pretty boring without her putting her two cents into every conversation.

They love as hard as they fight - they will make your heart melt as much as they make it break. Although the tantrums can sometimes feel soul destroying, the awww moments will restore your faith in humanity and fill your cup til it overflows. The same passion that's exerted during daily struggles over what to wear, what to eat and how everything should be done is also poured into how they show affection. They will love you with all their might and remind you of it at the perfect moment.

*****

My strong willed child is not a curse or a punishment, she's amazing {and so is yours}, I wish more people could see that. She's a highly motivated, curious and determined little girl. She will not be held back by anyone, she will speak her mind and one day she will accomplish great things. But, I'm a realist, I know there'll still be plenty more moments like this before that happens.


32 comments:

  1. I think there's a point where strong willed children become arseholes - it's usually when there's four of them together in the same room

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    1. Yep more than one would most likely lead to that.

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  2. I read some where that strong willed children are the futures entrepreneurs and leaders. I def think Indie is an entrepreneur in the making for sure!!

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  3. I have three very strong-willed children at home, but that confidence doesn't always read out in the big, bad world. If they're ability to argue with me was a true indicator of their ability to negotiate life in the future, I'd be very happy. But I think it's a lot more complex than that.

    What I want most is to know they are kind - happily, their teachers often comment on how empathetic both my boys are. But again, I feel like I see the opposite at home! Bottom line; kids are complicated!!

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    1. Yep kids certainly are a lot more complicated than people realise. My daughter shows empathy for others and lots of affection too.

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    2. She sounds like an absolute doll. You must just love her so fiercely!

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  4. Thanks for the reminder - occasionally we need it, don't we? (and I agree with the comments - as long as my daughter is evolving into a kind and curious person, for the most part, I am prepared to try and cope with her strong will, although it exhausts me!) And it can come in different forms too - my son, who is much less 'out there', can be just as stubborn. Hopefully it is all good in the end :-) Cheers, Helen

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    1. I like to think that all the challenges we face parenting them while they're young will lead to good things in the future :)

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  5. There are days when my kids just break my spirit and I have 4 strong willed kids. I am proud they speak their mind, I am proud they are confident and I am proud they turning into beautiful young adults - BUT does it always have to be on my time... ARGH....

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    1. Yea the downside is we primarily wear the brunt of their feisty personalities. I'm hoping when she has kids of her own she'll understand what she put me through ;)

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  6. I have one very strong willed boy - and some days, I just love that about him. On others, I really struggle with it lol. Thanks so much for joining in this weekend hun. Hope you are having a fabulous weekend xx

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    1. I know exactly how you feel, some days its a blessing and other days not so much. Loved joining in with your guys :)

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  7. Oh yes, I often say many of the qualities my eldest son have are fabulous in an adult, but tough for a parent!

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    1. Yep they'll make fabulous adults, we just need to get through the testing years first.

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  8. Oh yes, and it's even tougher when it's a girl. Because far more people will tell you that she's bossy and overbearing when there's a group, whereas the boys in the group doing and saying the same things are just being boys. Drives me bonkers!

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    1. Yes!! Thankyou for pointing that out. She's the only girl in mothers group and often comes across as bossy but there's a couple of boys with the same personality but they don't stand out as much.

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  9. Yes, I have two of these little head strong nutters. One of them takes it to a new league of his own. It's really draining but I have to keep reminding myself that he is every thing I will want him to be as an adult. A lot of things I never was/am.

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    1. She has so many traits that I didn't/don't have as well which is why I secretly love that she's so headstrong.

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  10. Hahaha! That cartoon portrait is so funny. But I think you have a point. Strong willed children are often misunderstood. For me, they are the ones who seek attention because they need it the most. Loving these type of children will make them grow as days go by.

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    1. Yes mine definitely wants attention all the time. She does great things though when she gets it and has excelled in many areas, as much as a 2yr old can, but I think lots of people {who don't really know her} still misunderstand her personality. Her mind is constantly ticking and she's always on the go and lots of people take that the wrong way.

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  11. I love this positive spin Toni! I have two very strong-willed tornadoes and Mr TT in particular, although I applaud his determination, pushes all of my buttons. My beloved Grandma used to say that it's good to have a bit of spark. I'd like to think that in the future that spark will serve them well xx

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    1. Oh she's really good at pushing my buttons too. They seem to work out how to do that really early on. I'm hoping she uses her spark for good things when she's older :)

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  12. My first born is extremely strong willed as opposed to my second born who is defiant.

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    1. I think mine swings between her normal strong willed personality and flat out defiance some days.

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  13. I keep trying to remind myself that it is a good thing, but in the heat of the moment it is so hard.

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  14. My boys are so strong willed, it's totally a blessing…and sometimes a curse! I think it's so important that kids keep asking questions - as annoying as it is. Not to take things at face value is one of the most important lessons of life.

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    1. Definitely I love her curiosity and thirst for knowledge and that she doesn't just believe something because someone told her {although it is frustrating at times}.

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  15. Strong willed children are extra ordinary. Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge when they're young, but if sensitively parented they become terrific teens.
    A strong-willed child (SWC) is one who loves to challenge the rules. This is a child who knows that anything is possible.

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