Sunday, March 15, 2015

The moment I thought everything was about to change...

Last night started out normal enough. Bub had dinner, had her bath, had her bottle and then proceeded to walk around playing with everything in order to avoid bed time. At quarter past 8 I decided I'd had enough and told her she was getting a new nappy then going to bed. To which she responded by jumping on the couch and ignoring me.

Then, just as I told her to be careful and stop jumping, everything changed. She jumped too close to the edge of the couch and lost her footing and launched herself off the couch head first into the tiled floor. I saw it happen from the other side of the room. When she landed face first into the tiles we both let out blood curdling screams (and I've never seen daddy drop everything and run that fast ever).

If you've ever witnessed your child land on a tiled floor, you'd know its the most terrifying thing ever. To know you can't stop it in time is horrible, especially when it appears to happen in slow motion right in front of you. I will never be able to erase the vision of her slumped upside down, head crooked, on the floor. I honestly thought she'd broken her neck or at the very least would be brain damaged. I don't know if that'd be a normal reaction for any parent or if my anxiety took it to the next level, but every time I close my eyes I see it over and over again. Its seared into my memory even though I desperately want to forget it

The good thing was she started screaming straight away. And then she didn't stop. And I don't blame her, if I didn't have to keep it together for her sake I probably would've been screaming my head off too. When we looked at her head it was swelling massively and turning black as it swelled. To be honest seeing her head swelling so quickly and so much was probably more horrifying than when she fell. I still feel physically faint even writing about it now. I hope I never have to see something like that happening to my baby ever again.

I called an ambulance for the first time ever and somehow managed to tell them my address before completely losing it after seeing the huge black lump again. Thankfully daddy took over on the phone so I could take over mummy cuddle duty and compose myself. When the ambulance came we decided to go to hospital to make sure everything was ok. The ambulance officers thought she was ok, but were happy to take her to hospital to get her properly checked out and I was more than happy to go. There's no way I would've slept at all sitting at home wondering whether she was going to pass out or have a fit at any moment.

Bub was so not a fan of the ambulance ride. She cried the entire time while cuddling into my chest. Like pulling at your heart strings sobbing that made me feel guilty for taking her to the hospital even though I knew I was doing the right thing for all of us. She didn't want a bar of the ambulance man. Every time he even dared to look in her direction she was off on a screaming fit. We tried to give her some lolly water (Panadol) but she just looked at us like we were aliens trying to feed her poison. She spat it at me then pretended she was going to vomit so we let her be. Even though I desperately wanted her to have some pain relief. 

We spent 3hrs at the hospital and once they were satisfied she didn't have any fractures or broken bones they let us take her home. Just past midnight. She promptly fell asleep and didn't wake up properly until 9am (apart from the few time I roused her like they told us to). I let her sleep in bed with me, both for my sanity and to comfort her.

Very tired mummy and bubby

As soon as she woke she was crying her eyes out. No doubt she had a huge headache. She's been ok with pain relief today. She does have a rather nice multi-coloured shiner on her head though, which of course she refuses to let me get a proper photo of. I told her she has her very own rainbow on her head.



The good thing is that she seems to be back to herself today already, albeit with a few more mummy cuddles thrown in. I think I'm actually a lot more traumatised from the whole ordeal than her. She's already gone back and tried jumping on the couch twice today, both times I nearly had a heart attack.

Toni x

39 comments:

  1. Oh your poor family! It's so terrifying isn't it. When my daughter was about the same age she slipped in the kitchen and chipped her front tooth and bangin her head on the cuppboard. I was totally beside myself for days afterwards. I hope you, hubby and your gorgeous girl have an uneventful few days and she feels better really soon! Sending you love xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope it uneventful. I have a huge case of separation anxiety right now. I just want to helicopter parent her so she doesn't get hurt again, but I know I'll need to get over it.

      Delete
  2. Oh my darling! That would be soooo scary! Babies + injuries + ambulances are the worst mix. I hope you are both recovering ok. I can only imagine your heart stopping and how horrible it would feel not knowing the extent of the damage. We recently had to call the ambulance for the first time too and I felt like such a horrible parent :( But I guess these events make us all that little bit tougher... after some time. Take it easy on yourself my dear. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I imagine it will after some time. The poor switchboard lady on 000, I was hysterical, but I guess they'd be used to that.

      Delete
  3. This reminds me of when carson ran into the corner of a bookshelf, stabbing his head on the edge. It split so wide and fast that all we cud see underneath was white bone. As the swelling started the blood finally did and it was, literally, spraying out with each pulsation of his heart. He was about 18m old.and it was horrifying! We got a taxi to hospital where they butterfly stitched but he yanked them off immediately. They glued him but he picked that out immediately. They tried glue and butterfly stitches together but only lasted a few days. Their thoughts were not to stitch properly in case it continued to swell and the scar would look awful. Now he has an inch long faded scar wirh a quarter cm width to it. I'm dreading when Finley (10m) is at that age!!

    Carsonsmummy.blogspot.co.uk xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god I nearly fainted reading that! I did a similar thing when I was younger (I think about 5/6). I slipped over and ran into the corner of mum's dressing table and split my head open. They stitched mine, but afterwards said they should've just butterfly clipped it so I didn't have a scar. I have a 1.5cm scar on my forehead but its so faded I forget about it most of the time. I hope Finley isn't as accident prone.

      Delete
  4. Aww poor bub. So scary. No one warns us parenting is going to be that scary. At least it's not the side people talk about but the fact we can't protect every bump or bruise is awful. My worst lately was having my daughter choke on a piece of salami she took by mistake instead of ham while making pizza. Even with a current first aid certificate you just panic! And I'm usually chilled as can be. Hope your little miss is feeling a bit better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep I've done a first aid course and at least I was collected enough to grab some frozen peas and wrap it in a tea towel then call the ambulance. Still didn't stop me flipping out though. Although having said that I think I was a lot more controlled that what I would've been if I hadn't done that.

      Delete
  5. it is amazing how you feel completely helpless. My 2 year old fell backwards off a barstool (had to be a sunday night) at the kitchen bench last year, I was close by and saw it happen - almost like in slow motion but I just couldn't get to him quick enough. Without thinking about it I scooped him up to help him and examine him. He was sitting on the kitchen bench when I realized that he couldn't move his head sideways or up and down. I held him close to me shouting for whichever family member was close to grab the car keys and we raced him to the medical center, I nursed him the whole way trying as hard as I could not to move him in case he had spinal damage (and I know you are not supposed to move them but by then all I could think about was how stupid I was for moving him in the first place, and what a s#$@ parent I was for not protecting him. They immediately called an ambulance at the medical center and put him into a neck brace. I swear to god I nearly threw up and I couldn't stop crying, but was trying as hard as I could to keep it all together, as I didn't want to scare him anymore. As we raced in an ambulance to the hospital I was on the phone to my husband, saying "Im so sorry, I should have gotten to him quicker, Im so sorry, please let him be ok, please please please". They gave him something to try to keep him still at the hospital so they could examine him. We went through MRIs, Xrays and Ultrasounds that night - a nurse had to physically sit with us for the whole night and hold his head straight - they didn't even have a neck brace small enough for my little man. The next morning a learning doctor came in and said that we would have to keep him under observation for 8 weeks with no physical activity and he would need to keep a neck brace on, but the doctor would be in to tell us about it in a few minutes. Shortly after, a doctor came in an introduced himself as a head of neurosurgery. He told us that our son had a blood clot in the brain, and he would require immediate surgery and that we would be here for quite a few months and that it would be very touch and go for awhile. My whole world sank, and the vomit started to come up again. To that my husband pretty much lost the plot and started saying that we were just informed differently, and how can 2 doctors have such different results. At that time a nurse came in to see what the huff was about. She was able to clarify - you see there were 2 little boys in the ward that day with the name William, and the other little Will was the boy with the blood clot. The doctor just walked out, without so much as a "Sorry", leaving us shocked and in hysterical states. I feel so horrible for the poor mum and dad who had the poor child that were receiving that horrible news - My heart goes out to them and I pray that their little boy made a full recovery. No parent ever wants to hear that sort of news. After the stress and emotion of the night I was so thankful my husband was there and we were able to comfort each other, after the heart wrenching news. My husband just HUGGED Will and each other for about an hour straight, before taking him home and swearing we would NEVER EVER return to that hospital. Your kids are so precious, but OMG they send you grey before your time. 1 year on and Will has made a full recovery and is still a monkey - chin up, you are doing a great job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Its moments like these that make you realize your kids are your whole world, and you would do everything in your power to keep them safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How horrible! I can't believe the dr didn't even say sorry! I would've gone off (after I calmed down). I'd never go back to that hospital again either. So glad you're son was ok, but those poor other parents :(

      Delete
  6. I don't have kids but felt sick reading that. I'm so glad she's okay.

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still feel sick thinking about it. She's back to her normal self today thankfully.

      Delete
  7. I'm so glad she is okay. That poor little love. I am just like you and get so scared when something like this happens. When Smiley jumped from four steps high to land on her head on our hard wood floors I let out a bloodcurdling scream too. It's terrifying. Glad all is okay though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My first reaction was just to scream my head off. I'm surprise none of the neighbours turned up cos I'm sure it would've been super loud.

      Delete
  8. Reminds me of the day Izzy fell head first twice off your mums lounge. The first time I freaked out checked her over and kept a close eye on her. Second time she just got up and played. I kept the closest eye on her for rest of afternoon and when I was satisfied she was OK she was put to bed with check ups through the night. When Ella fell as a toddler though I was like you freaking out frantically checking her. Thank god my mum was there and kept me calmer. Hope Hayley's head is OK and you too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I joked with the ambulance man that maybe if she was my third child I wouldn't be so freaked out lol, but he said he only has one so he totally gets that it freaked me out because he said even he freaks out all the time with his. Kind of reassuring to know they freak out too.

      Delete
  9. How scary for you. Hoping your little one is continuing to improve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apart from her bruise you wouldn't even know it had happened. Crazy child has already been jumping on the couch again!

      Delete
  10. oh gosh! that sounds scary! Im glad she is ok, bump and all! When my girl was 3 months she stopped breathing and I had to call the ambulance. Scariest moment of my life! I never want to have to go through that again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had the same experience when she was 3 months old due to her dairy allergy. She stopped breathing, but I was by myself and too focused on trying to make her breath again that I forgot to ring the ambulance. We ended up at hospital overnight for monitoring though. Its certainly not a fun experience.

      Delete
  11. What a horrible experience. Glad to hear she's recuperating well. My son once suffered a concussion. I freak out about all falls now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was so worried she'd have a concussion. I freak out every time she climbs onto the couch, hopefully it passes cos I've been so stressed the past few days.

      Delete
  12. What a terrible scare. Poor darling girl and poor you and your partner. I'm so relieved that nothing serious came of her injury. Lots of cuddles this week x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. Lucky I love cuddles as much as she does :)

      Delete
  13. I went through that with all three of my kids - another few moments that could have made my parenting fail list.... Gilbert fell over, face first, onto a coffee table and cut his eyebrow - he missed his eye by 1 cm. That was scary. Matilda fell backwards off my bed (off the board at the foot of the bed) and landed head first on our hardwood floor. And Delilah more recently slipped getting out of the bath and badly bruised her back - I thought that was going to be a hospital trip for sure. Give her pain relief and lots of cuddles and just look out for any vomiting or unnatural drowsiness - sounds like she's going to be colourful for a while but will bounce back just fine x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep she's sporting a nice rainbow coloured head (I wonder what passing strangers are thinking of me when they see it!).

      Delete
  14. So scary. Kids love to give us heart attacks, don't they? My son went over the handle bars of his bike once and skun his face on the asphalt at the BMX track. He was more upset that I said we should go home now, than what he did! Lucky she was OK xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god my face hurts just reading that. Kids are so much more resilient than us thankgod.

      Delete
  15. Im so glad she is alright. 3 out of 4 of my children have had massive falls on their heads and it is very scary. One of my children has epilepsy so I am in constant fear of her falling in the wrong place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Epilepsy would be so scary Natalie :(

      Delete
  16. That would have been so scary. I am so glad that she is feeling better already. It's so hard to see your child in pain and feeling like there is nothing you can do but hug them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was horrible waiting for the ambulance just sitting there holding her and icing her head and thinking I wasn't doing anything to help her. Yet when they arrived they didn't really do anything else so I guess I did the right thing.

      Delete
  17. Such a scary time. Glad she is ok xxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Toni you poor things.
    Such an awful experience seeing the little people we love hurt themselves especially heads, very scary!
    I hope bub makes a speedy recovery and that your flash backs become less and less frequent. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure she's already over it she's driving me insane jumping on the couch all the time. I just hope I get over the anxiety soon.

      Delete
  19. Oh how awful ... when Miss 18 was about 10 months old and just walking, she fell off the step of the laundry and hit her front tooth ... she had a gap tooth smile for about 6 years, rather than 6 months, as a result! It's so hard to watch them hurt themselves (physically or psychologically) but it is all part of parenting ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah how horrible! I'm so glad we managed to avoid a split lip or chipped tooth, although I have no idea how.

      Delete
  20. That is the scariest thing! The other weekend, when we were having a last look around Dave's parent's house, Zee fell down half a flight of steps. It was that proper head over heels, arms and legs in terrible, odd positions, and neck snapped back. I'm so glad I managed to catch her halfway down otherwise she would have broken her neck the way she was going. Scared the absolute shit out of me, and her! I watched her like a hawk for the next 24 hours, I was so worried she might have done some lasting damage but thankfully she was all good.

    I'm so glad it all worked out good in the end. These kids sure know how to give us heart failure!

    ReplyDelete