I happened to be watching the news on Monday morning just as the news of the Sydney Siege was breaking. I immediately had similar feelings to when I was watching 911 unfold on the tv thirteen years ago. Shock. Sadness. Disbelief. However this time it was different. This time it was in my own country, not my state thank god, but still far too close for comfort. That's such a weird saying when you think about it because there's nothing comforting about the situation at all.
It was also different because instead of being a teenager sitting at home with my mum, this time I was the mum sitting at home with my 16 month old daughter. One of the first things I thought was thank god my baby is too young to understand what's going on. Thank god I don't need to have a conversation with her trying to explain what's happening. Thank god she could still spend the day with the Bananas in Pyjamas, Upsy Daisy and Thomas completely blissfully unaware of all the horror that was unfolding.
I wish she could stay in her blissful bubble forever.
Unaware of the suffering and bad people in the world.
Unfortunately as the world faces tragedies like this far too often and with information so readily available I'm sure there will come a time when I'll have to have that conversation. The one where I try and explain why there are bad people in the world who do bad things. The one where I try and help her understand that, despite these bad people existing, she shouldn't be scared. She doesn't have to be afraid. Because mummy and daddy are here to protect her. And while I have that conversation I'll have to keep my own anxiety under wraps so she believes me - that I can protect her from the bad people and the bad things. Because if she doesn't believe me then the bad people have won, and I won't let them win.
There will always be helpers and the helpers will always outnumber the bad people.
Linking with Grace, Ann, Bel and Sonia