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That's the million dollar question isn't it?
It's one we've been pondering a lot for the last few weeks. Seems I've got a serious case of baby fever... I've been so dam clucky lately. Of course my family have been asking when we're having another baby ever since bub turned one. There must be some unwritten law that once your first child turns one you must immediately provide your parents with another grandchild. If you don't you will be continuously nagged at every opportunity until you do provide requested grandchild, at least that's what I think their plan is.
It seems our parents aren't the only ones who have an opinion on when we should have another baby. Checkout chicks at the supermarket and little old ladies at the shops are particularly fond of asking "ohh she's so cute, how old is she?" which is promptly followed by "are you planning on having another one soon?". I get there's a genuine fascination with such things, I do. And that babies make strangers gravitate towards you, but the interest has been particularly heightened now that the Duke and Duchess are expecting again. You see bub and Prince George are only a few days apart... so naturally I had better hurry up and get pregnant again because Kate already is... at least that's what everyone keeps telling me.
Thanks for the added pressure Kate...
Seriously though we have been discussing the issue of when the right time would be for us to have another baby, regardless of what the general public may think. We haven't come up with an answer yet (yea sorry this post isn't a pregnancy announcement), but we have come up with the following list of factors that should be considered.
10 FACTORS TO CONSIDER WHEN PLANNING ANOTHER BABY
1. The age gap. I'm pretty sure this is the first thing that pops into everyone's mind when they're considering adding to their brood. If they're too close it'll be harder, but they could end up being best friends. If they're too far apart chances are they won't be interested in the same things so won't play together much. Then the omg what if I have them close together and I end up with twins factor comes into play. You may laugh, but I know two people who've had this happen and ended up with 3 under 3 and 3 under 2, it does happen.
2. Can baby number one walk & talk? This one is high on the list of factors to consider for me personally. I never wanted to be carrying two babies around everywhere at the same time. Similarly I also don't want to have two babies who can only communicate via crying (assuming I don't end up with twins!). We've overcome the walking barrier and are currently working on the talking part. It's just a case of do I wait until she can talk or get pregnant and hope she can talk a lot more by the end of the nine months? Jury is still out on that decision.
3. The nappy Situation. Everybody is quick to say "don't have another baby until the first one is out of nappies". Personally the idea doesn't bother me that much. She's only using 4 or 5 nappies a day now and doesn't require a nappy change at night so that's not that much to handle compared to a newborn. Also since we moved to nappy pants her nappy changes have gotten much easier and aren't a massive battle anymore. I also think it'd be easier to deal with a newborn while having a toddler in nappies, rather than a toddler who's toilet training and pooping and peeing all over the floor. I could be wrong though as I've never gone through the toilet training experience, but I hear it isn't good. The less time I have to spend cleaning excrement off the floor the better (especially when the squishy newborn will be doing tummy time on said floor).
4. Money. It always rears its ugly head when there's a big decision to be made doesn't it? I figure there's never going to be enough to live the way I'd like to live, but if there's enough to get by comfortably at a standard we can accept then that's ok.
5. Sleep deprivation. Isn't it amazing how we can magically forget all the horrible months of sleep deprivation hell. I've just become accustomed to getting six hours uninterrupted sleep at night and I honestly don't know that my body could handle going back to broken sleep just yet. The thought actually scares me.
6. Pregnancy side effects. I didn't have the easiest pregnancy. Although customers at work were telling me I looked great while pregnant, I most certainly didn't feel that way (at least not at the end). I got psd which means my pelvis was separating from 30 weeks. As you can imagine it didn't feel great, in fact at some points I couldn't walk. I had to finish up work earlier than planned and pretty much stay on bed rest for nearly two weeks until the pain subsided a bit, but then it came back even worse later on. I also ended up with carpel tunnel in both wrists and had to wear braces 24/7 (except while showering). On top of that I got pupp rash in the last week and ended up covered in a hideous, insanely itchy, rash which didn't go away until after she was born. Forgive me for not wanting to jump back into that again anytime soon. Each condition happened randomly so there's a possibility that I won't experience any of it the second time around, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to take my chances yet.
7. Is Kate pregnant? Just kidding.
8. Fertility issues. This one won't apply to everyone, but for us its a reality. It makes the process a little harder to predict because we could end up taking over a year to fall pregnant (or not fall pregnant at all) from the time we start trying. So its a case of do we start trying a few months before we'd ideally like to get pregnant, assuming it'll take that long; or do we stick to our preferred time and then hope it doesn't take months upon months to conceive. Considering it took me nearly four years to fall pregnant the first time, this is weighing heavily on our decision.
9. All the other stuff like will I need to buy a double pram? Will I be able to handle going out in public with two kids by myself or will she just dart off while I'm attending to the baby?
10. Will I lose my mind? When he goes back to work will I just completely lose it having to look after two children by myself all day? Am I likely to get post natal depression again?
In the end I don't really know that there will ever be a right time to have another baby, especially when there are so many factors at play. Chances are we won't ever be able to tick all the boxes at the same time. In the end I think it'll come down to our gut feeling on when we think we could handle adding another little
spawn darling to our family and whether we are even able to get pregnant again. Rest assured if when it does happen I will let you all know (yes mum I will tell you first before announcing it on my blog, you don't need to text me).
Anyone have any tips on when the right time is?
Linking with Jess
This post is part of a Nuffnang native advertising series.
Having trouble during nappy change time with a wriggly baby? Try BabyLove Nappy Pants - with no tabs to contend with, the 360-degree stretchy waist allows you to pull them up quickly and easily, so your active toddler can get back to action in no time! Request a sample.