Monday, September 15, 2014

The baby daze

In the weeks leading up to bub's birth I knew I'd be sleep deprived once she arrived. Every second person I spoke to was reminding me, just incase I forgot. I thought I was prepared for it. In fact by the end of my pregnancy I was willing her to come early because I was so over spending my days lazing around the house and having afternoon naps. Ha, what I would give to be able to have those weeks back now.

To be honest I don't think you can ever be prepared for the sleepless nights a newborn brings. At least not the first time around. Perhaps I'll be a little more equipped next time because I know what to expect, but I'm sure it'll still knock me for six. 

Those first few days in hospital are seriously a blur. Two words - cluster feeding. Sure it's great for bringing your milk in, but its so not great if you want to get any sleep. I don't even remember T being there during the day time because I was so sleep deprived from the nights. I know I fell asleep while feeding her twice. The first time I woke because a midwife was taking her off me to put her back in the crib and the second time I woke because I remembered I was feeding her and freaked out. I'm pretty sure the second time was only a micro sleep, but when I woke I was so confused as to whether I was really awake or whether I was dreaming. I remember sitting there for a good five minutes trying to work out what was going on. 

By the third day I broke down in a fit of tears asking T if the birth had really happened and she was really my baby. I was so out of it from not sleeping that I wasn't sure if I'd made the whole thing up. A few hours later the dr came by to do my discharge paperwork and I told him about my breakdown (thinking I was going crazy) and he said it was perfectly normal especially given my unexpected birth. In fact he said he'd be more worried if I hadn't had a good cry. I can't tell you how reassuring that conversation was.

When I got home it was easier at first because I had T's help during the day so I could have small naps here and there. It was up to me at night time, but surprisingly enough I was managing to get by on only a few hours of broken sleep quite well. Until T went back to work.

Cue major breakdown.

He works 12 hour shifts so I had to look after her all day and then all night by myself. All on about 2-3 hours of broken sleep. Needless to say that didn't work very well.

[Image Source]

I was so tired I was a walking zombie half the time. Pretty quickly I became quite emotional. I'd burst into tears numerous times throughout the day and often in the early hours of the morning when I couldn't get her to go back to sleep after a feed. I became resentful of T because he was still getting a minimum of eight hours of uninterrupted sleep each night, if not more. I started getting seriously depressed and anxious. I honestly believe my sleep deprivation played a part in me developing postnatal depression. At the time I just thought everything was my fault and that I wasn't coping.

Love to Dream recently conducted national research* into the relationship between sleep and new mums. I have to say the results sound very familiar to me and I'm somewhat glad I'm not the only one who's gone through this experience. 53.6% of new mums said lack of sleep had a negative impact on their lives. Sleep deprivation can seriously affect your everyday life and not just in the sense that you need a lot more caffeine to survive the day. The research uncovered a number of negative impacts including:

  • 63% of mums become overly emotional {like I did}
  • 58% feel grumpy or angry
  • 36% say it impacts their relationship with their partner/husband 
  • 33% suffer ill health {like I did}
  • 30% feel unable to cope {like I did}
  • 27% feel depressed {like I did}

The good news is that the baby daze as I call it does pass. Of course I didn't believe it would when I was smack bang in the middle of it all. But with a lot of patience and a number of different tactics we got through it. Now I have a baby who sleeps up to eleven hours a night and rarely wakes unless shes teething or sick. Oh happy days. I actually sleep long enough to have dreams now (pretty weird ones, but its still better than none).

If you're in the middle of the baby daze right now I have a solution for you. Love to Dream have put together a giveaway to help. Their products have helped us along our sleeping journey and I can't recommend them enough.


LOVE TO DREAM GIVEAWAY

To help you, and your little one, get a better night’s sleep Love to Dream have given me one of their new Love To Swaddle UP Lite 50/50's to giveaway. This design is part of their new Lite range of swaddles for summer, which are up to 300% lighter than traditional muslin wraps. The fabric used in the Lite range is highly breathable making it perfect for warmer months and also suitable for babies with eczema or sensitive skin. The Swaddle UP 50/50 is the no cry solution to help transition babies from being swaddled to having their arms out. The new Swaddle UP Lite 50/50 comes in a colour palette of chartreuse, aqua, grenadine and grey making it perfect for a little girl or boy. For your chance to win simply follow the rafflecopter prompts below.


WINNER - KAREN GRACE



a Rafflecopter giveaway


Competition commences 12:00am September 15th 2014 and ends 12:00am September 23rd 2014. Entry is open to Australian residents only, excluding ACT. One reader will win a Love to Dream Swaddle up 50/50 Lite valued at $49.95. Prize is not transferable. Prize will be delivered by Love to Dream, Finding Myself Young takes no responsibility for prize delivery. This competition is a game of skill and will be judged as such. Incomplete entries will be deemed invalid and excluded from judging. Winner will have 48hrs to respond or prize will be redrawn. This competition is in no way endorsed, promoted or administered by Facebook.

Good luck everyone

Toni x


Disclosure - I did not receive any compensation for this post.

* National survey of 600 mums aged 18-45; questions based on babies being less than three months of age

50 comments:

  1. Haha I love that quote about being a tall two-year old after no sleep. That is so true!!! And it's me today! xxx

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  2. Baby's do really interrupt our sleep. It is so horrible how necessary sleep is to function and how baby's just don't care. I slept with may babies always as a way of getting around this, so I could feed and sleep and dose almost constantly. I loved my babies sleeping bags. It was great knowing that that wasn't the reason they were waking. It was nice to be able to start somewhere and more forward.

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  3. I read somewhere that being sleep deprived is the equivalent of having a blood alcohol reading of 0.05. It's pretty scary when you think about all of the things we do in those months of sleep deprivation. We started Mr 5 on melatonin on Saturday night and it's been amazing how different I feel at night with the few extra hours to myself.

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    1. Yea I've heard that too and its pretty scary considering how many times I drove the car with hardly any sleep.

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  4. I remember it well even though mine are now 20 and nearly 18! I also remember starting my maternity leave 6 weeks before Mr 20 was born, and being "bored" and taking lots of naps thinking it would help prepare me for what was ahead - NOPE!!!!

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    1. PS great giveaway - if only I knew somebody pregnant or with a new bub!

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    2. Its too bad we can't store up all previous sleep to counterbalance the sleep deprivation after the baby arrives. It scares me that you still remember it 20yrs later - I thought we're meant to forget all the bad stuff so we keep going back for more!

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  5. The new summer range sounds perfect for baby #3 who is due in January - peak summer period!!

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  6. I remember the first few days being a blur too! My babies are no longer babies :( they grow up too fast. Great giveaway. I loved these types of swaddles with my daughter. #TeamMM

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  7. Those first few months (and years) are so hard. Anything that can help settle the baby and in turn help limit sleep deprivation, is a wonderful thing!

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  8. I love that their new range is lighter. Ideal for Summer, especially for Moo who has eczema. They colours are great and I LOVE that they can transition to arms out. I actually need this product for Moo. It's really what we need right now. Thanks for the review.

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  9. I was nodding along to everything. That first few nights in the hospital is a real wake up(no pun intended) call. I remember waking lots of times at that stage with the baby still on the feeding pillow in a start! There is nothing like it and I doubt anyone except a mother would understand xx I love that baby has an arm free, my first girl was a thumb sucker, she never took the dummy.

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    1. It's so scary when you wake up and realise you've been asleep with the baby on you. I've co-slept with her during naps a lot since then, but only once she was bigger. I was so scared of doing it when she was tiny.

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  10. I love that it is breathable, it is so hard trying to make sure that you din't have them wrapped up too warmly, these are awesome!!!
    Kim

    galwayst@hotmail.com

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  11. Only 53% say it had a negative impact?! Man, the other 47% are either lying or in denial! I loved motherhood the first time round and I was blessed with an easy-going baby but it was still one hell of an adjustment!

    I also remember endless days of lounging around waiting for her to be born, it was summer so it was beautiful weather and I just swanned around. I wish I'd appreciated it more because never again since have I had so much 'me' time - these days I'm lucky if I can pee in peace!

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    1. I think the other 47% either have really helpful partners that let them nap or they're just pretending they're perfect. I wish I could pee alone too, I've usually got a toddler trying to pull all the toilet paper off the roll and two cats just hanging around watching what I'm doing.

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  12. Three under three here with the youngest 10 weeks early and needing 3-4 hourly expressed feeds the first few months. I honestly don't remember sleeping or how I survived. I was lucky to have a lot of help from hubby who had a 9 to 5 ish job at the time with a lot of leave up his sleeve.

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  13. I love the freedom of movement it provides :)

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  14. It wraps bubs well
    And keeps them tight
    Light for summer
    So they'll sleep all night!

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  15. I just love how it so light,
    But will still keep bub snug through the night :-)

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  16. I like that it's lighter than traditional muslin wraps! We live in FL and need something lightweight like this for our baby girl. Thanks for the opportunity.

    Seasidesmitten@aol.com

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  17. can SO relate to this - even a year on those first few days and weeks are a nightmare!

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  18. Being wrapped up means they won't be able to kick their blankets off and get cold in the middle of the night!

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  19. I remember those sleep deprived baby days like they were yesterday but I don't miss them, hahaha!! I guess when my babies are too big to climb into bed with me in the mornings that I'll suddenly really miss it all xx

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    1. On the odd occasion shes sick I do enjoy the extra cuddles, but I definitely don't miss the 3 hourly feeds at night.

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  20. No potential dangers!! - Diana Oz

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  21. Love that it helps them self-sooth :)

    (Di Donato)

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  22. I love that they are light and not stuffy. Great for summer too ;)

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  23. These really are the best sleeping bags. I loved that my babes arms were tucked in and prevented from startling but they weren't locked in really really tight. I imagine it's much more comfortable for them. Of course unzipping a bit later when they're ready for arms out is such a great feature. You get such good value out of these bags.

    The newborn fog is horrendous. Sleep deprivation has always made me battle. It can be so debilitating. My 14 month old has only just started sleeping through the night and I am finally now getting more sleep. Hallelujah! It was a long 14 months feeding 2-3 times a night. Glad to farewell it.

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    1. I don't think I could've coped with 14 months of it! Glad he's started sleeping through for you now.

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  24. Ahh Toni. That is hard yards caring for your baby all day and all night. I don't know how you survived - but you do don't you?! You just muddle through. These swaddles are fantastic. We used them for my second and loved them.

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  25. I'd love to be dreaming again of these swaddled help Phoebe sleep better at night. Some nights she's good waking between 3-5 hours but lately it's every two hours. I know it will pass but it's hard when you have two other kids that need to be cared for too.

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  26. As soon as my son was born, he went into a woo bike - being wrapped up was the best thing ever and he has been a brilliant sleeper. I've got 12 weeks to go with my second and I'm petrified he won't be as good a sleeper - fingers crossed for me :)

    Hello from #teamIBOT

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  27. I love that they are up to 300% lighter than traditional muslin wraps. I actually thought there was nothing lighter than muslin; so that's awesome to know. Living in South Australia the dry heat in a summer heat wave is just excruciating so it's great to have a cooler option.

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  28. I'm in love with the colours, especially the design in your pic. Perfect for the mystery baby soon to be born.

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  29. I use a love to dream with my 13 week old little girl. She is mostly sleeping through at the moment, and never did the cluster feeding thing, unlike my son, who was a crazy little cluster feeder and multiple nocturnal weaker until 15 months old when I was pregnant with Suzie..
    Dani from Sand Has No Home

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  30. Oh thank god my kids finally sleep all night now! I couldn't go through all that again.

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  31. It's posts like this that make me glad I'm not doing that again. It all came rushing back!!! They are worth every minute of it, but gee it's hard work!

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  32. Babies love them! Sleeptime is much better in one!

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  33. Helps baby get a comfortable nights sleep.

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  34. marilyn
    the 50/50 is an amazing idea.
    I had my first child in December, (many years ago)and I remember my husband asking me what I wanted for Christmas, I started crying and said I want to go back to hospital " because I was happy there"

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  35. Favourite thing, well that's easy - the absolute reassurance that no matter how active your little one becomes in their cot they will remain as snug as a bug in a rug (or in this case, their Love to Swaddle UP)

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  36. I love the light weight fabric, especially for th hot Aussie summer

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  37. They are so much easier than swaddling with a blanket

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  38. I love that baby can't wiggle out. I found my girl fell asleep and stayed asleep after feeding if she was in her swaddle.
    Michelle Sheriff

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  39. I love that you can transition bubs from having their arms swaddled to out of the bag! So much easier than fighting with a traditional swaddle in the dark :)
    I remember that 'fog' so well, and I was lucky enough to have 2 very good babies! Fingers crossed this next one due in 7 weeks is as placid and easy-going.

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  40. Sleep deprivation is worse than torture & I went back two more times. I absolutely adore the colors of this product. I'm currently recycling a sleeping bag for the 3rd time. It's getting a little dated & this would be perfect for my 4 month old :)

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