Today I'm linking up with Ann, who's guest hosting I must confess. The prompt this week is things your parents don't know. There are so many things I could write about for this post, but I don't want to ruin my reputation (if I even have one). Besides, things are secrets from our parents for a reason, right? In order to not be a complete piker though I'm sharing a story from my primary school days.
Tuckshop at primary school was a big thing. It was the holy grail of lunch time. I loved the days I got to hand in my brown paper bag with my money and food choice knowing something awesome would be waiting for me later on. You see I used to get teased a bit at school about my lunches. Mum used to send us to school with weird sandwiches. Things like corned beef and pickles, ham and alfalfa sprouts, patte or asparagus were regular lunch staples. I actually loved them, but the thing with eating food like asparagus for lunch, is that its green and smelly and almost certain to attract the bullies.
Sometimes, ok a lot of the time, I just wanted to fit in with the other kids. If that meant wasting money on junk food at lunch then so be it. Problem was I pretty much never had money. One day I came up with an ingenious idea to overcome my lack of funds.
I think we were doing some kind of maths exercise in class and we had fake coins and notes that we were using (similar to Monopoly money). As we were packing it away I stashed a couple of coins in my pocket. They'll never know, I thought. To me it looked close enough to real money. Surely the tuckshop lady would be easily fooled by my plan. Or perhaps if she wasn't she'd take pity on me and pretend it was real and give me what I wanted anyway. So off I went at big lunch (yep thats what it was called) and lined up with all the other kids awaiting the sweet sweet deliciousness of tuckshop food.
Of all the things on the tuckshop board I could've lusted after, all I wanted was some apricot balls. Seriously, I could've gone for an ice-cream or something to make my genius plan worth the effort, but no all I wanted was apricot balls. They were little balls of some kind of chewy apricot (or apricot tasting) mixture rolled in coconut. Yuk. I can't stand apricot or coconut now, but back then they were the bees knees.
The whole time I was waiting in line I could hear my heart beating outside my chest. I was convinced everyone was staring at me and knew what I was doing. My guilty conscience was in overdrive, but I never thought about getting out of line and abandoning my plan. I truly thought I would succeed. I felt much worse about taking the fake money than using it to buy something. Clearly stealing is worse than fraud as far as seven year olds are concerned. I just wanted to get to the front of the line and pay for my apricot balls so I didn't have the stolen money burning a hole in my pocket anymore.
Of course as luck would have it I got in the line with the mean tuckshop lady. Perhaps if it'd been one of mums friends they would've been more discrete. But no. This lady was a cow. I asked for my apricot balls and handed my money over only to have her yell back at me "you can't pay with that, its Monopoly money" as loud as she could. I swear it was like one of those moments in a movie where something embarrassing happens and everybody immediately stops what they're doing, goes completely silent and stares at you. Maybe it wasn't quite as dramatic as that, but it certainly felt that way. My seven year old, apricot ball loving, soul was crushed. As I walked away from the counter I swear I could feel every.single.person. staring at me.
So there you go, that was my highly embarrassing story from my youth that my mum never knew about (assuming the cow tuckshop lady didn't blab about it). Thankfully my little foray in dishonesty and stealing didn't lead to a lifetime of crime. Perhaps the insane amount of embarrassment I felt afterwards was enough to set me on the straight and narrow path for life.
Do you have an embarrassing story from your childhood?
Are you slightly annoyed that this story didn't involve alcohol, boys or the police?
Linking with Emily, Eva, Alicia and Ann