Unless you have been living under a rock somewhere, if you're in Australia and you watch tv you will have heard of Offspring. Right? It's only my favourite show ever (mainly because I relate a little too well to Nina's inner monologue of anxiety and self doubt - although I'm not as socially awkward thankgod). Anyway, if you had never heard of it before you should have in the last few days as it has caused a huge shitstorm on the news, internet and social media since they decided to kill off Nina's love interest Patrick.
I think the reason why it took so many by surprise is because they seemed to be setting Billie up to be killed off the last few weeks. I mean you know shes lost her job, having an emotional breakdown, having marital problems and her husband is about to go off on a tour over in Europe so like many other people I assumed that would be the easy way to write out a character. Of course they obviously wanted us to think this so that no-one would be prepared for one of the main characters to die unexpectedly. Exceptionally good writing on the shows part, but really bad for ones emotions! Especially if you're hormones are still all over the shop from having a baby not too long ago like me. Cue sobbing like a baby (even before he actually died).
The thing that made it so much worse for many people was that Nina is about to give birth to their baby. Add the fact that shes never been lucky in love and we all thought this was finally her happy ending and you have the recipe for a complete emotional disaster.
For me this episode was particularly hard. Ever since dad died when I was younger and I watched mum have to all of a sudden raise us as a single parent and a widow I have been inherently scared of that happening to me. I grew up with it so the fear that the cycle will repeat itself is engrained in my mind. This fear was heightened when I was pregnant. I was constantly worried that something would happen to T and I would be by myself having to deal with my emotional heartache and look after our children. I eventually pushed my fears aside as much as possible because I was just worrying about something that wasn't even reality instead of enjoying what was. Since I've had the baby I hadn't even thought about this fear at all. I think because I have been so exhausted, busy and pre-occupied with taking care of a tiny human everything else has taken a backseat (including this blog - sorry!). Also T has been home with me since the birth so there really hasn't been many times we've been separated where my fears could creep back. Yea until I watched that episode of Offspring!
It made me confront my biggest fear, stare it in the face and try to comprehend it - all while dealing with rapidly depleting hormones which already cause random breakdowns as it is. Thanks for that. Thankfully I wasn't holding the baby at that point or she would've picked up on my distress. I'm already paranoid that something is going to happen to my baby and now this has just added another layer to that paranoia. Seriously I don't know how I sleep at all (oh wait I forgot I pretty much don't now anyway).
After a few days to digest the episode I feel much more ok with it. More-so because I found out the reason for it is that Matt Le Nevez (who plays Patrick) wanted to leave the show. It makes you realise it is only a tv show and hes not really dead, but there is still part of me that mourns his loss alongside of Nina. I really want to go up to her and hug her and cry with her and try my best to comfort her. Yes I know its not real, but it still feels real to me.
I'm a little scared to watch next weeks episode, but I think we all need to for closure. At least this time I will be a little more prepared for the emotional breakdown before it happens.
Have you ever mourned a tv characters death? Are you as upset about this as me?