Thursday, April 18, 2013
The joys of pregnancy hormones
Having PCOS means that I have really low levels of hormones compared to other people (hence all my issues trying to conceive). So, T never really had to deal with my psycho emotional side, at least not that often. Well, I have to say going from almost no hormones to the overload of pregnancy hormones certainly changed all that!
When we were trying to conceive he kind of got a preview of what hormonal Toni would be like. The lovely little tablets they give you have fun side effects such as mood swings, headaches, cramps, nausea and tiredness (of course all of them lead to more mood swings). So it was a nice little precursor to what it would be like when I got pregnant. The only difference was when on the tablets I was aware of the fact that I would be a bit crazy and I could try and control it.
Once I got pregnant I really had no idea I was crazy. Seriously. And I have been quite crazy. We've had serious screaming fights where I would literally throw stuff all around the room all because of something trivial like not being able to find a pair of pants. Admittedly T did take it in his stride as such. He saw the funny side of it and thoughtfully recorded it on his phone so that I could watch it back at a later date when I was less crazy and see the funny side of it (bastard). Although I probably seemed quite mental I did control my anger quite a lot - we still have a tv and he still has his xbox, both of which I imagined smashing on numerous occassions. Thankfully all of the crazy angry outbursts were confined to our house so to everyone else I could maintain the illusion of complete sanity.
Another interesting hormonal outburst saw me screaming my head off because I was in the shower and a cockroach came out of the drain and was in the bathroom with me. You have to realise I am shit scared of cockroaches and this was like the biggest one I've ever seen, and I was naked which makes it much worse and I was pregnant on top of it. The bastard cockroach was between me and my clothes and more importantly me and the exit of the bathroom. T came up to kill it and thought it would be hilarious to taunt me with it. There was a lot of screaming and eventually hysterical crying. In the end he killed it (after it had run up his shorts and tried to get in his undies - sucked in). Ten minutes later the police turned up at our door because someone called them saying there was a domestic disturbance. Apparently my emotional breakdown must have been quite loud. It was kind of funny and extremely embarrassing at the same time (the police were just as embarrassed as I was).
After the ten week mark I am happy to say the emotional outbursts settled down - apparently that's when your body starts to get used to your new hormone levels. So, I thought I was over all the hormone related fun, until I had a breakdown in a baby shop and started crying. It was all because I thought I was stupid because I was overwhelmed at all the stuff in the shop. I figured everyone else just magically knew what they needed to buy whereas my mind just went blank in the shop, so I freaked out.
Now my hormones just make me cry instead of getting angry. I cry at the news, stories about babies, songs on the radio and pretty much most other things and sometimes for no reason at all. I guess the joys of hormones are going to continue all the way through pregnancy. Oh well only fourteen more weeks to go! Thankfully the effects are now a lot easier (and safer) for T to deal with.
And yes, surprisingly enough those videos on his phone are kind of funny now.