Saturday, June 30, 2012

My first and hopefully last car accident


So last night I was in my first car accident since I have had my licence (over 9 years). Not something I  really wanted to tick off my bucket list, but oh well what can you do.

They say the most high risk activity you will ever do is drive your car because the statistics of being in a car crash at some point are so high. I used to just roll my eyes at that because you know I’ve been driving for years and never been in a car accident so of course they must be making that stuff up. But, now I get it!

Here I was minding my own business stopped in traffic (yes that’s right stopped, my car was not even in motion!) when all of a sudden bang out of friggin nowhere I felt this huge jolt and next thing I had smashed my head into the back of my head rest. Took a second to realise yes it actually happened I didn’t imagine that and then what did I do, start screaming....?? Obviously, because that’s logical my windows were all up nobody was going to hear me but screaming was going to help right? That’s shock for you. I did, however have a moment of clarity and realised I needed to pull my car off to the side of the road and thank god the person who hit me followed. Once parked mild panic attack/shock set in... you know random crying, shaking, praying the guy coming out of the car behind me wasn’t going to abuse me and somehow blame me.

Turns out he was actually really lovely about it all and was more worried about calming me down. Both of us had no idea what we were doing as we had never had a car accident before. My car was smashed up at the rear and his car was all scratched up at the front but didn’t look that bad compared to mine. In the process of inspecting our cars after exchanging details a passerby suggested he should try and start his car to see if the engine was still working. Thank god I followed him to the side of his car and was no longer standing between the two cars because when he started the car (he just turned the key from through the window) his car launched forward and smashed into my car AGAIN!! This time doing more damage than the first initial impact. Total and utter accident as he didn’t realise he had left his car in gear when he parked it, but thank god nobody was standing in front of his car. He assured me that this will become a funny story some time in the future.

After we got over the shock of that happening he left and I was firstly going to drive my car home, being the independent woman that I am I didn’t want help from anyone. Yea right like that was ever going to happen. Few phone calls later my boyfriend and my mum had showed up. Also in between that 3 tow trucks just emerged from nowhere (apparently they were alerted from a traffic camera there had been an accident). In the end I went to the hospital in an ambulance because my neck was sore and I was having headaches from hitting my head. My car got towed. Mum went home. My boyfriend followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Had to wait at the hospital for 4 hours to be seen by a doctor!! You would imagine that if someone came in from a motor vehicle accident with a possible head injury experiencing headaches and neck pain that they would be seen urgently, right?  But no, apparently the health system is as shit as they say it is. Turns out they suspect I only have whiplash and they let me go just after midnight.

So, I left work at 5:50pm last night and finally got home at 1:15am – minus my car. Not the most pleasant experience I have ever had and not one that I want to repeat. I am so thankful that I wasn’t hurt any worse and that my boyfriend made me go to hospital to get checked out (and he had to put up with me complaining about it for 4 hours).

Lessons I have learnt from this are:

1.       Call the police if you’re in an accident (it would be much easier)

2.       Let the tow truck take your car, don’t try to drive it home

3.       Accept peoples help - you are not inconveniencing them they want to help you



I am slowly working on trying to relax and not do things so my back can get better.  As I’ve said before, I’m not good at relaxing hence I wrote this instead of lying down doing nothing.

I hope everyone else is having a better weekend than what mine turned out to be.

Toni  xx
Click to read more »

Monday, June 18, 2012

Its all working out



Everything is coming along quite nicely at the moment which is a pleasant albeit odd change.

I’m so used to always being stressed about something, having something going wrong or being upset by something. For the moment everything seems to be going ok, maybe even good. For once everything is working out for me and I feel like the world (universe, karma etc) is on my side.


I feel like I have de-cluttered my mind of late now that everything is finally over. No more court cases to worry about. No more money worries (well apart from the normal money worries we all have). Now, I'm moving onto de-cluttering the house.

 I finally got my new blinds installed this month. I’ve wanted new blinds for five years since I bought this house so I am beyond excited that they are finally here. It feels so much more modern and more me. I have also been clearing out boxes from over 2 years ago. Its amazing how much junk you can have sitting around in boxes and totally forget about. A lot of it I have been ignoring because I didn’t want to have to sort through things that would remind me of the past, but the time has finally come to close the last chapter of all this mess. Actually I think clearing out the house is more like the first stage of my new life.

I feel at peace when I'm at home now, like its my space and I am meant to be here. It doesn’t hold past memories anymore. In fact all around me now are reminders of new memories Ive created. All I have to do now is look forward to the future and the endless possibilities it holds, there is no reason to look back anymore.





Toni xx
Click to read more »

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My new love





So tonight I thought I would properly introduce you to my new partner. My true soul mate.
I don’t think I ever really believed in the whole ‘soul mate’ theory before. In fact I don’t think I even believed in it when we were first together, however, as time goes on I have become a believer. Looking back at how we have grown together from complete strangers to best friends, to firm life partners it really is amazing. There has to be some kind of strong ‘soul’ (or emotional as I would call it) connection going on for two complete strangers to have a chance meeting and become completely and utterly inseparable. It has been an absolutely incredible journey so far and I could not imagine my life without him.

So this is why he is so amazing...

  • He’s a listener. We can talk for hours and he actually listens to what I have to say!
  • He gives great hugs. I have to admit I love a good hug.
  • He has nice eyes. Nice eyes are always important; they are the window to your soul.
  • He’s taller than me. I know it’s superficial, but I can’t stand a man who’s shorter than me.
  • He’s my opposite. He’s very laid back and goes with the flow which balances out my incessant need to over think and plan everything. He calms me down.
  • He understands my past. I’m sure it will come out on here one day, but my past was less than ideal and so was his so it’s nice to have someone who sees things from my perspective.
  • He’s a lover not a fighter. He hates fighting, to the point where I am now the one who starts the fights which is weird because I have always been the submissive one. It’s good though to have someone who doesn’t scream at you until you give in.
  • He wants to take care of me. Even though I’m extremely independent and don’t want to rely on someone it is nice to know that somebody wants to take care of me.
  • He makes me feel special. Finally I have found a man who makes me feel like I am the most important woman in the world.
  • He makes me smile. Do you know how good it is to look at someone and smile just because you are insanely happy?
  • Most of all he’s HOT!!! He would be attractive to me anyway because of his personality, but throw in the nice eyes, height and muscles and he’s definitely hot! I’ve been told by other people too so it must be true :P

I didn’t ever think I would meet anyone else and I certainly wasn’t looking for it at the time. I truly believe we both met each other at exactly the right time in both our lives and that has played a huge part in why we have formed such a strong bond.



So whether it was my destiny and he is my ‘soul mate’ as decided by the universe or whether it was just the most awesome coincidental meeting in the world, I am eternally grateful. I could never have imagined being this happy a few years ago. It proves that there is always a silver lining waiting for you, even if you can’t see it. It will find you eventually.

Toni x
Click to read more »

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Short term or long term happiness...



Sooo, I thought 2 months ago that all my dramas with my ex-husband (god I love being able to call him my EX-husband!) were finally over. However, here I am months on still trying to cut financial ties despite going to court and winning (supposedly). I have 2 options at the moment, I can keep trying to fight to get the money he owes me or I can give up and move on....

For the past few hours I have been on a high thinking I will take him back to court so that I officially win once and for all. By win I mean either he pays me the money he has already been ordered to pay me or he ends up with a warrant for his arrest possibly going to jail, either way I would be happy. This would give me great satisfaction and make me feel as though I have actually won something rather than having a piece of paper saying I’ve won that he’s ignoring so effectively it means nothing.
However, now that I have been thinking about it for a few hours and thoroughly researched what it will take I am back to thinking maybe I should cut my losses and get over it. I don’t particularly want to have to pay off his debt, but is it really going to be worth spending hours on paperwork, lodging documents, attending court cases etc over the next few months to maybe get the result I want?? Knowing him he will somehow get away with not doing anything again, like he has for the past few years.
I feel like I have a split personality at the moment, half of me wants to beat him to feel satisfied that all this fighting was worth the effort and then part of me wants to move on and be free of all this shit. I’m starting to think what I really should do is move on and stop fighting for something that I know in my heart I won’t win. It’s just so hard to give up when I know I’m right.
I think I should just put all my energy into focusing on what I have got now. My real future - my awesome boyfriend, renovating MY house and trying to have a baby again. Stuff that will actually make me happy long term. Who knows maybe there will be an engagement in there sometime...??? Hint Hint! Not that I am ready to get married again yet, but a ring would be nice right?

I’m thinking long term happiness is going to win over short term satisfaction. In the end I have already won just by being happy, right?

Tonixx


Click to read more »